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And Then Went Bronson

I saw the "Brave Last Days" headlines on the tabloid covers at the grocery store, but I didn't really believe them. Damn. RIP, Chuck. I think I'll rent "Death Hunt" tomorrow.
posted by Ben at 7:48 PM

 
Britney and Madonna Sittin' in a Tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G

Of course, I wouldn't be me if I didn't comment on the Britney Spears-Madonna lesbian kiss at the MTV Video Music Awards. Am I the only person who was disappointed by the whole affair?

Before I go any further, I want to say for the record, that I'm all for lesbian kissing. I think its a good thing. And I'm secure enough as a man, that if my lady friends wanted to make out with another hot chick, I'd totally be cool with it-- especially if I got to watch.

Anyhow... Britney. Madonna. Kissing. Totally disappointing. It was like watching two college sophomores "experimenting" and not really being into it, y'know what I mean?

First off, there was tongue. What's up with that? A really convincing lesbian kiss always has a little tongue action. Always, or its not a lesbian kiss in my book.

Secondly, a really good lesbian kiss always lingers. Always. Britney and Madonna totally didn't linger. It was like they were trying to get the whole thing over with as quickly as possible. And in my book, that's the wrong kind of attitude to have when you're performing girl-on-girl action. It kinda takes you out of the moment y'know? The lingering is the thing sells the kiss. †he lingering lets you know that the girls are digging it. Yeah. Oh yeah. Otherwise otherwise it's just a couple of gal pals kissing each other goodbye after having a couple of margaritas.

Thirdly, as disastrous as the Britney-Madonna kiss was, from an aesthetic point of view, Madonna totally cold have salvaged the situation when she kisses Christina Aguilera. But that kiss was even worse. I sat in front of the TV thinking, "My God, these women are amateurs!"

Anyhow, there's was one thing i did like: when they cut away to Britney's ex-boyfriend Justin Timberlake. He had this sort of melancholy look, this look that said, "How come she never did that for me?"

Poor bastard. Poor, poor bastard.
posted by Dr. Monkeystein at 9:37 AM

 
Airplane crashes and people getting killed-- those people at Burning Man" are sure some crazy mixed up kids.
posted by Dr. Monkeystein at 9:13 AM

 
What bothers me about this SF Chron story on Arnold Schwarzenegger's mishandling of that old Oui interview? Plenty. First, this shouldn't even be a story. Second, Schwarzenegger's initial response was the correct one, and he should have stuck with it, rather than coming down with a case of amnesia less than 24 hours later. Third, Arnold's spokesman is a weasel. (For the last time, there is no such thing as a "gun-show loophole" in California.)

But, for some reason, I can't get too upset about all of those supposedly terrible things Schwarzenegger said in 1977. Maybe because I haven't supported his campaign, and don't plan to.
posted by Ben at 1:14 PM

 
From Rich, Enduring Records of Lives Lived to Fragmentary and Ephemeral Ones

As a new academic year gets underway, Clifford Orwin worries we're on the brink of becoming a post-literate society. I think he's probably too optimistic. At the core of his lament is the disappearance of letter-writing in favor of e-mail:

The great age of letter writing was the 18th century, when the letters, like the novels, were serious literary compositions often running to considerable length. The voluminous correspondences of that day remains engrossing in ours because of the thought and care lavished on them by serious people for whom the complementary activities of reading and writing lay at the core of their existence. When John Adams wrote Thomas Jefferson, or vice versa, it was a major event in the lives of both, and each strove to be worthy of the other. E-mail, on the contrary, is the medium of communication of the frenetic, who don't want to spend a second more than necessary whether composing or responding to it.

Even though he's writing for a Canadian audience, by "we," he clearly means the English-speaking West. What does he think of weblogging, I wonder? (Link via No Left Turns.)
posted by Ben at 12:35 PM

 
Casus foederis [UPDATED]

Back in the days of the Roman Republic, there was a tradition that accompanied a declaration of war. When Rome declared open hostility upon another nation/state, a messenger/soldier would be sent out to make the journey to the closest border of that state. Upon reaching reaching his destination, the messenger would heave a spear across the border, impaling it in the ground of the enemy territory. Rome meant business, and was willing to out of its way to say so.

As the Roman empire continued to expand, the tradition became less and less practical. Rome was becoming like, well, Elvis in his later years - portly and lazy, holed up in Graceland, surrounded by lackeys, beginning to decay. Rome no longer sent the formal spear message to the enemy's front door. Instead, the Senate would declare a special little plot of ground within Rome to be the official territory of the enemy. (The same plot would be used over and over to be the official land of each flavor-of-the-week enemy. The messenger/soldier would make a show of running through the city, to the cheers and applause of the Roman citizens, and then plunge the spear into the designated ground. All without having to leave home. I liken it to Elvis shooting his tv.

Why bring this up? Well, in defense of Hugh Hewitt, it should be noted that at least he made the trip to Minnesota personally to plunge a spear into the Fraters Libertas blog's youngest member, "The Atomizer." Lines have been crossed. The generals are drawing up the strategies and tactics. Each is sizing up the opposing camp's vulnerabilities. And, true to Roman Imperial form, Hugh Hewitt is attempting to use his unparalleled size, influence, and the power of his many treaties and conquered "allies" to force his opponents to sue for peace before they'd had a chance to get to their fighting spirit in gear.

This is good strategy. There is an old Roman proverb, that says that nothing causes bravery to well up in men so much as the knowledge that they have no chance of survival. I think HH knows this. Behind the scenes, Hugh is now maneuvering for the conflict to be resolved before it really begins, hoping that the Fraters boys will be quieted before they become desperate and dangerous.

I am reminded of one of the early scenes in the movie Gladiator. The hero, Maximus, is out enforcing Rome's command over a distant outpost of the Empire, putting down a rebellion. As he looks from his overwhelming battleline toward the rabble of barbarians, one of his commanders turns to him to comment on the situation.

Quintus : People should know when they are conquered.
Maximus : Would you, Quintus? Would I?

UPDATE: I found that proverb. It originally comes from Virgil's Aeneid: una salus victis nullam sperare salutem, "knowing that there is no hope can give one the courage to fight and be victorious."
posted by R.B. at 8:52 AM

 
Of course with the Howard Dean insurgency campaign, what must follow next is the counter-insurgency campign. I see John Kerry playing the part.

KERRY: Howard Dean is a madman! Listen to me, the Democratic Party's voice of reason! I'm telling you, if you follow him down this path of insanity, he'll destroy us alll!!!!

And course, with a counter-insurgency campaign, must come the insurgency-insurgency campaign. I'm puttin' my bet on John Edwards.

EDWARDS: You think Howard Dean's a liberal? I'm ten times the liberal he is! I'm so liberal I make Ralph Nader nervous!!!

Of course after the insurgency-insurgency campaign must come the counter-insurgency-insurgency-insurgency-counter-insurgency campaign. This of course is played by Joe Leberman.

LIEBERMAN: I'm a liberal. I'm a liberal's liberal. But at the same time, I don't flaunt my liberal ways. I keep it under control. And it's not to say that I'm not proud to be a liberal. Because I am. Proud that is. To be a liberal. It's just that not everyone is a liberal. And not everyone is as liberal as I am. And I'm very, very liberal. But not an over-the-top liberal like some of those other so-called liberals. Unlike them, I feel it is important that all viewpoints are recognized. Liberal and non-liberal. And I think that's what makes me different from all of the rest of the crowd.

posted by Dr. Monkeystein at 8:38 AM

 
James is right about Howard Dean. Not only CAN he win, I believe he's the ONLY Democrat who has any hope of unseating King George (barring some major screw up by the Bush brigade). None of the other guys have the sort of screwed-up charisma that Bill Clinton brought to the 1992 campaign. Dean's not the same kind of charming frat boy that Clinton was, but he IS the only one that doesn't put you to sleep before he even opens his mouth. John Kerry and Dick Gephardt both carry themselves with the same sort of "it's my time" demeanor that completely failed to get either Bob Dole or Al Gore elected. And the entire "Democratic establishment" roster of candidates usually come off as campaigning FOR Bush - "We're 100% behind the president on this war thing, but, um, doesn't the economy suck? It sucks, right? Vote for me!" Dean's a crackpot, of course, but is one of those "He sounds so crazy he just might be right" kinds of crackpots, unlike the more typical "He sounds so crazy he just might be crazy" crackpots, like Al Sharpton.
posted by RobbL at 9:50 PM

 
Just one more thing about Howard Dean: I think his campaign theme song should be "Eye of the Tiger." I just think that would be brilliant. I think the song just says everything about his insurgency campaign-- plus it's got a good beat:

Eye of the Tiger
Risin' up, back on the street
Took my time, took my chances
Went the distance
Now I'm back on my feet
Just a man and his will to survive

So many times, it happened too fast
You trade your passion for glory
Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past
You must fight just to keep them alive

It's the eye of the tiger
It's the thrill of the fight
Risin' up to the challenge
Of our rival
And the last known survivor
Stalks his prey in the night
And his fortune must always be
Eye of the tiger

Face to face, out in the heat
Hangin' tough, stayin' hungry
They stack the odds
Still we take to the street
Fot the kill with the skill to survive
(Repeat )

Risin' up straight to the top
Had the guts, got the glory
Went the distance
Now I'm not gonna stop
Just a man and his will to survive
(Repeat )

The eye of the tiger

Dah-da-da-da, da-da-da, dad-da-dah

God, I'm a sick bastard.
posted by Dr. Monkeystein at 6:14 PM

 
So I've made a decision. I think the next presdiential election is going to be so close that 12 swing voters are going to decide who will be the next leader of of the free world.

I know this, because Karl Rove knows this.

Even now as you read this Rove is monitoring the swing voters-- three of whom live Scottsdale, Ariz., two of whom live in Decatur, Ill., one of whom lives in Knoxville Tenn., four of whom live in Langhorn, Penn., two of whom live in Boca Raton, Fla. and three of whom live on the outskirts of Hattiesburg, Miss.

Rove has men following these people, monitoring them at all hours of the day. Their phones are tapped. What they eat, what they watch on TV, even how often they make love-- everything they do, no detail too small, is being carefully collected and studied by the Bush team.

I am told that Rove receives data about the 12 swing voters on kind of live stock ticker sort of machine. I'm told that Rove sometimes sits for hours, sometimes days, just staring at the monitor, trying unlock the secrets of the data crawling across the bottom of the screen.

Some people have said he's gone mad. That the data has twisted him up inside. They may be right... oh they may be right....
posted by Dr. Monkeystein at 6:03 PM

 
Food Fight

Every once in a while I read a news item that i wanna spoof, but I find that there is no way to spoof it because it kind of spoof's itself, but dammit I'm going to try:

From Cheese to Wine, EU OKs Protections

LONDON (Reuters) - EU governments have ended weeks of squabbling and agreed on a list of 41 famous food and drink names such as Parma ham and Rioja wine that they want to have worldwide brand protection, officials said on Thursday. According to the European Union's executive Commission, the final list represents not only the most valuable items but also those most widely pirated overseas: drinks like Chablis, Champagne and Cognac and the cheeses Gorgonzola and Manchego.

Food piracy, there's a new one. Not only do I have to feel guilty about burning a CD on my computer, now I gotta feel guilty about pirating cheese. I suppose next we'll see commercials with Gerard Depardieu imploring us not to "steal his food."

"This is not about protectionism. It is about fairness. It is simply not acceptable that the EU cannot sell its genuine Italian Parma ham in Canada because the trademark 'Parma Ham' is reserved for a ham produced in Canada," he said.

The Canucks probably did that because they can't sell genuine Canadian Bacon in the United States because the trademark "Canadian Bacon" is reserved for a ham produced in America.

Weeks of meetings of the EU's influential trade committee led to stalemate, with increasingly bitter demands by member states for more of their national favorites to be included.

The bitterest country of all, was Mexico, who on a technicality, was once again denied ownership of the term "Breakfast Burrito."

In July, for example, Greece threatened to reject the entire list if it failed to include Feta cheese, Kalamata olives and, if possible, the aniseed liquor Ouzo. In a diplomatic victory for Athens, both Feta and Ouzo were added, but not Kalamata.

GREEK DIPLOMAT: If feta cheese is not included on the list-- we walk!!!!

France asked for seven more of its products to be added but withdrew Neufchatel cheese when it won acceptance of Beaujolais and St Emilion wines. Spain fought successfully for its Mancha saffron, while Britain agreed to remove Blue Stilton cheese.

And to the relief of all, Blood Sausage was not included on the list.




posted by Dr. Monkeystein at 3:37 PM

 
Howard Dean was in New York the other day. I went to see him, to check out the whole scene. Let me tell you brothers, it was like a revival meeting, like a real-life "Elmer Gentry" reenactment. You had people speaking in tongues and frothing at the mouth, people's eyes were rolling back and stuff, women were screaming and fainting-- pure hysteria.

I was thinking it was like watching the whole John McCain run in 2000. Except even kookier y'know?

I'm gonna say something, and you're gonna think I'm crazy: I think the guy can win. Seriously. The diffeernce between Howard Dean and John McCain is this: Democrats have no stomach for the dirty games of politics. The Clintons do, but frankly they're the only ones. See the Bush torpedoed McCain in 2000. They torpedoed him good. It was good politics, I'd have done the same thing.

Anyhow my point is, is there anyone in the Democratic party with such a blood lust for the presidency that they'd do anything-- ANYTHING-- in an almost berzerker rage kind of grab for power?

Besides the Clintons that is.

Kerry? Nah. Gephardt? You got to be kidding. Lieberman? Too dignified to stoop so low. Edwards? Too genteel, though I'd never put anything past a southerner.

The only man who has the blood lust is Howard Dean. You see the man in person, you see the look. It's the look of a man who'll cut the throat of his own mother, on the Altar of Power -- IF THAT'S WHAT IT WOULD TAKE -- to be The Man with the finger on the Button.

Anyhow, don't discount Dean, I don't know what he's putting in the Kool aid, but its driving the kids crazy.
posted by Dr. Monkeystein at 1:57 PM

 

This just in:

The nations attending the six-way talks in Beijing aimed at ending North Korea's nuclear program reached a basic agreement Thursday to hold a second round of talks in the same city within two months, the head of the Russian delegation said.

Between now and then, bloggers and traditional journalists might want to take the time to research the plight of the North Korean people, and the lack of hope for NK refugees. I would hope that as the second set of talks approaches, the heat and focus would be turned up, as the eyes of the world once again converge on North Korea and China.

In case I haven't spelled it out clearly enough, it's my prayer that this issue might get picked up by the blogosphere, in the same way that attention was intensely focused on Iran's treatment of the university student protesters as that ominous anniversary rolled around this past June. Can you join in?
posted by R.B. at 1:13 PM

 
"History Calling"

Over at "Shot in the Dark," Mitch Berg has published History Calling, a tour de force on how the volume needs to be turned up before the old calls of, "Never again," and "We will never forget," fade altogether into meaninglessness.

...it's happening. Again. And, just like the first Holocaust, you're not going to hear about it on the major media until it's far too late.

North Korea maintains a series of Gulags that put Stalin's - perhaps even Orwell's - to shame for their relative size and comprehensiveness and ruthlessness.

...One can also find precious few references to the story in the major media.

...Attacking Kim [Jong Il] today is like attacking Hitler or Stalin in 1933; despite their ghastly crimes against humanity, the lunatic left fears the beginning of a slippery slope.

The story may go away - it may never even arrive, as far as the consumer of American news is concerned. We - those who pay attention to these things, and the part of the Blogosphere concerned with actual rights for real humans - need to do our best to fix that.

Strong claims. But Mitch Berg is backing them up. Read it all. Really.

I should also mention the guys at SCSU Scholars, and Fraters Libertas who are also doing their part to focus the spotlight onto this most deserving cause. Please don't hesitate to help us get some momentum behind this effort to rouse the larger media. Write about it. Talk about it. Ask about it.
posted by R.B. at 12:55 PM

 
Well, Fingers and his friend Eric have thrown down the gauntlet, distracting me from all else until I responded. Fred knows my weakness for making lists of unimportant things. This month's list? 100 Best Movies Of All Time. Not a particularly original category, but still one I obsess over. I don't really like titles like "best" and "of all time", however, so I really just made a list of "100 Movies I Really Like Right Now", in no particular order. Here's the top 10. I've got my complete list (along with Eric & Fingers' lists) over at my personal weblog so as not to distract from more important Monkey Business.

RobbL's Movie List

The top 10, in no particular order:

1. Brazil
2. Chinatown
3. Ed Wood
4. The Godfather
5. The Big Lebowski
6. Blade Runner
7. Almost Famous
8. Goodfellas
9. Rushmore
10.This Is Spinal Tap

I challenge all Monkeys and Monkey readers to submit your choices! (see e-mail address in upper left corner)

posted by RobbL at 12:20 PM

 
Arnold's First Campaign Ad

Bob Smith: A lot of politicians try to impress you with fancy arguments and big agendas. But when you've got a state in crisis, fancy mumbo-jumbo is the last thing you want to hear.

Announcer: Bob Smith, Arnold Schwarzenegger supporter.

Bob Smith: That's why I’m voting for Arnold Schwarzenegger to be California’s next governor. Arnold’s the best candidate out there, and there's absolutely no way of proving it!

Announcer: Arnold Schwarzenegger is the only gubanatorial candidate without any kind of plan to say what he will or won't do. You might say that puts Arnold beyond mere politics. The other candidates have grandiose plans, that is, until egghead columnists from egghead publications begin frittering away at them. But Arnold Schwarzenegger won’t let any eggheads boss him around.

[ SUPER: "Jonah Goldberg, Egghead Columnist, The National Review (a publication for eggheads)" ]

Jonah Goldberg: I cannot recommend this man-- for any political office whatsoever.

Announcer: You're darn right you can't! But try telling that to Arnold Schwarzenegger supporter and California housewife Bonnie Hamilton.

Bonnie Hamilton: Arnold Schwarzeneggar is gonna be great for California! He’s gonna be so great, my husband and I are also thinking about penciling him in for state comptroller as well! That’s how good a leader we think he's gonna be! When he takes over, the state’s problems will go away like magic I tells you-- like magic! I know what you're thinking -- there's no scientific evidence of magic. But thank God, I'm no scientist. I'm just glad that I've found a gubanatorial candidate who can finally stop me from hearing all of the evil voices in my head.

Announcer: Arnold Schwarzeneggar for California governor. He’ll make all of your problems go away-- like magic.

posted by Dr. Monkeystein at 11:14 AM

 
Pedagogical Needling

Again, it wouldn't be Infinite Monkeys without me writing about calling in to the Hugh Hewitt show. But this time I'm writing more specifically about not calling in. This afternoon, the last hour of the show was open to any topic, and the phones didn't seem to be too heavily laden. But I was just leaving the dentist after having some work done. (I had been trying to stay calm, listening to Tarzana Joe read Bayard Taylor poetry through my headphones while my tooth was getting drilled.) I was really tempted to hit Hugh with the details listed below, but couldn't bring myself go before a national audience with a numb mouth. (For fun, just imagine me trying to explain the following with a "Weird-Harold" lisp -- you remember -- the guy from Fat Albert.)

As listeners have heard, yesterday HH had an on-air conversation with Minnesota governor Tim Pawlenty. The call has been replayed and replayed. Why? Because Hewitt managed to talk his way into having his self-appointment to two new meaningless "official" positions gubernatorially approved.

So, now the official Minnesota Commissioner of Hockey is also officially "Sheriff of Latin" and Minnesota's "Master of the Horse." Concerning the latter title, Hewitt explains:

The position of Master of the Horse is an ancient one. During a period of Dictatorship in the Republic, the Dictator's second-in-command was the Master of the Horse, thus Caesar's Master of the Horse was Anthony. In the event of an invasion of Minnesota by Iowa, Wisconsin or North Dakota, I suspect I would be obliged to return to Minnesota to attend to these duties, but for the time being, no exercise of these powers is contemplated.

Why the Horse? Well, the Roman dictator was considered the commander in chief specifically of the ground troops (the infantry; the legions), and in the event of his fall on the battlefield, his authority was to transfer immediately to the commander of the cavalry. Hence, "Master of the Horse" or "magister equitum."

But there are a few things that I feel compelled to bring up. First, why does Hugh feel the need to appeal to authority before exercising his expressed desire to keep Minnesota's Fraters Libertas guys under his thumb? Who needs the ridiculous title of "Sheriff" in order to smack down some bar-trivia enthusiasts who can't even get the Latin for "brothers of liberty" right? (That would actually read "Fratres Libertatis.")

Second, the office of dictator (as disctinct from Emperor) in Rome ought not be discussed without mention of one of its most venerated holders, Cincinnatus (a hero of George Washington's) who resigned his post after the conditions that warranted his service had been dealt with. By doing so, he came to be revered as a model of Roman virtue. Cincinnatus served for just 15 days, and the precedent was firmly reinforced that Roman dictators were to serve no more than six months. Accordingly, the office of Master of the Horse therefore carried a de facto six month term. Will Hewitt follow the lead of Cincinnatus by dealing with Fraters Libertas swiftly and then stepping down? Either way, come 2004, HH is scheduled to be term-limited out, and it will be time for a fresh face.

Third, we should look to this (admittedly select) description of the office.

The rank which the [Master of the Horse] held among the other Roman magistrates is doubtful. Niebuhr asserts (vol. ii p390) "no one ever supposed that his office was a curule* one;" ... his view is supposed by the account in Livy, that the imperium of the [Master of the Horse] was not regarded as superior to that of a consular tribune (vi.39)

[*Webster defines "curule" as privileged to sit in a seat reserved in ancient Rome for the use of the highest dignitaries.]

So we are left to wonder... are congratulations really in order for Hugh's "ascension" to vox et praeterea nihil?
posted by R.B. at 11:01 PM

 
A new sort of Northern (Korean) Alliance [Updated]

If I had my way, you'd be reading some version of this story on every news site you visit today, tomorrow, and the next day. In the same way that bloggers focused together to bring attention to the plight of the Chinese student protesters a few months ago, the media of the west of the world ought to be roused to action.

Read Claudia Rosett's genuinely important article on the individual souls involved in escaping the tyranny and horror of North Korea. No, really. Read it. We need to connect these stories with real people, real faces, and real imperatives.

If you have a subscription to the Wall Street Journal's full online edition, I would also point you toward this article by Norbert Vollertsen, the (unnecessarily lone) voice in the wildnerness.

Vollertsen's nobly vocal stand should not continue to go on so feebly recognized. For an interview with Vollertsen, check your bias at the door and take yourself through this article. I'm not sure which website could properly be considered "his" but checking out NorthKoreanRefugees.com or ChosunJournal.com, and progressing from their "Links" pages ought to move you in the right direction.

Read about this German physician's outspokenness and his indefatigable efforts, including acts like attempting to airdrop radios to North Koreans. Then see if you don't agree, as Hugh Hewitt and Claudia Rosett discussed on the radio today, that Norbert Vollertsen ought to be considered for the Nobel Peace Prize. (Okay, yeah... I mean the old Nobel Peace Prize, back when it still had some semblance of integrity and legitimacy.)

[UPDATE: Speaking of vacuous Peace Prizes, I just found this March 7, 2002 open "memo" from Dr. Vollertsen addressed to former President Carter.
posted by R.B. at 7:42 PM

 
All Politics REALLY are Local
From Thomas A. Friedman's column in The New York Times :
...Col. Ralph Baker, commander of the Second Brigade...oversees two Baghdad districts. He and his officers have been conducting informal elections for local councils and getting neighborhoods to nominate their own trusted police.

"First we taught them how to run a meeting," he told me in his Baghdad office. "We had to teach them how to have an agenda. So instead of having this sort of group dialogue with no form, which they were used to, you now see them in council meetings raising their hands to speak. They get five minutes per member. It's basic P.T.A. stuff. We've taught them how to motion ideas and vote on them. . . . I have them prioritizing every school in their districts — which they want fixed first. I have to build credibility by making sure that every time they establish a priority, it gets done. That helps them establish credibility with their constituents. . . . There is a big education process going on here that is democratically founded. The faster we get Iraqis taking responsibility, the faster we get out of here."

I find all of this encouraging. It's easy, in my opinion, to get annoyed with the situation in Iraq. It's easy to get impatient. But I have faith everything is gong to turn out all right. I have faith no so much in the Bush administration, but in guys like Col. Ralph Baker. And I have faith in the Iraqi people. I sincerely do.
posted by Dr. Monkeystein at 12:08 PM

 
Thank heaven there's ONE presidential candidate who'll roll up his sleeves and do something when a REAL crisis occurs.
posted by RobbL at 11:46 AM

 
The lengths some Geeks go to...

Co-Monkey David is off to Burning Man. I wish him well, but I'm glad I'm not going these days. Yes, you can mark me down as a subscriber to the "It was better last year," mantra. Only last year was...like, seven years ago. Yep, I think I made it in just on the cusp of "old school."

< vietnam vet voice > Yeah, I remember back in '96... No restrictions on driving. No restrictions on firearms. No restrictions on cameras. Just one or two named "roads" in the center circle. Almost no camping boundaries. No overarching "theme" (e.g. Space, Time, Fertility) except for the theme camps themselves. No outrageous fees. No police helicopters. Rave Camp was new and it was a mile away from Center Camp (and you could drive there). No restrictions on the hot springs. No restrictions on use of the playa (dry lake bed). No restrictions on re-entry. No coffee table books about the event. No "designated areas" for fires.

The slogan "Granola, Guns & Videotape" still described the event back then. Now all you're allowed is the granola.

I've gone from wide-eyed newbie gone native in '96, to returning the wiser in '97 on the "other" playa, to official Black Rock Ranger in '98, to Disgruntled Postal Worker (with a bullhorn) in '99. < / vietnam vet voice >

Okay, before I get to melancholy (yeah, too late), here's the Onion's take on Burning Man 2003. (In case that URL doesn't remain valid, search for the story titled, "No One Makes It To Burning Man Festival.")

And to lend authenticity to the Onion's story, pick up in the middle of this account of my journey to the playa with the guy who put the Mojave Desert Phone Booth onto the (sub)cultural radar. (That would be yours truly applying my special touch to the RV's ailing engine.) You can also pick up near the beginning of the same friend's BM96 account to see what it looked like "back in the day." We really hit our stride in '97 and Deuce documented the experience fittingly. (My own BM pics aren't online any longer, but Deuce does a better job of capturing the feel of the event than I ever could.)

So what are the cool kids doing now? Well, some folks on a mailing list (based on friendships forged across those BM years mentioned above) are saying it's Junkmail Man. (No, there's not any info there, but there really has been a Junkmail Man event founded. The buzz sounds promising.)

As friend Jessica says, "Don’t hate the playa, hate the Man, man..."
posted by R.B. at 11:26 PM

 
Geek vs. Geek

The window dressing over at Fraters Libertas continues. Now, underneath their logo banner at the top of the page, their site-praise quotation comes from what we must assume was a courteous pleasantry caught falling from the mouth of a nationally syndicated radio man held captive on a boat with the FL bloggers. It reads: "The second most influential blog in Minnesota." -Hugh Hewitt

Well, having heard HH speak of that same boat trip on the air today, I culled another gem of a description of the Fraters Libertas guys: "...yokels" -Hugh Hewitt

As for The Elder's assault on my pop culture character, I am reminded of the following exchange between Darth Vader and Admiral Motti in Episode IV:

The Elder: "Don't underestimate this technological error you've constructed. The inability to recognize The Magnum is significant next to the power of the Fraters."
Admiral Monkey: "Don't try to scare us with your sorcerer's ways Lord Elder. Your sad devotion to that ancient tv show has not helped you conjure up any lost readers, or given you clairvoyance enough to find victory in Tuesday Trivia at Keegan's......ehch" [chokes]
The Elder: "I find your lack of faith disturbing."

[Don't recognize the scene from Star Wars? Here's a pic. Here's the actual scene (.mov)]

I still say it looks like Burt Bleepin' Reynolds. Oh, and the hat in the so-called "Magnum" picture is "Dodger blue."

Current Song: What Is The Secret by James Lileks on the album Bleatophony. Current Drink: Trader Joe's Natural Mountain Spring Water
posted by R.B. at 11:03 PM

 
If a monkey read an infinite number of articles, eventually he'd stumble upon... some worth posting about.

-or-

"How to do a poor imitation of Instapundit"

(Sorry for the diffusive title -- I've been reading the Puritans.)

No, I didn't check out Crescat Sententia because I'm a Latin teacher. I somehow found myself there after running across a second reference to them and their 20 Questions for Eugene Volokh.

But it doesn't stop there. Browse a while. There's some good stuff. The links show just enough familiar names to lend a sense of soundness, but enough unfamiliar ones to make you feel like you're getting to see more than just the same corner of the web.

As long as I'm talking about what I've been reading today, I must mention at least one of the many, many worthy articles that I checked out at The Claremont Institute, its blog The REMEDY, and the Claremont Review of Books (there's Latin on that page too). It's a follow-up to Thomas Krannawitter's appearance with guest host Frank "Cow-Chowing" Pastore on the Hugh Hewitt show, concerning Justice Moore and the attack on religion.

I also ought to mention Mitch Berg's treatment of "mojo" and of "he-who-must-not-be-named." (Scroll down AND up after those posts.)

The Volokh Conspiracy is getting into Constitutional hermeneutics (more can be found deep in the Prof.'s 20 Questions bit mentioned above -- Originalism, Nonoriginalism, libertarian-colored glasses, and more.

Oh, and I ought to include this Patriot Act teaser from Powerline, just to rile up co-Monkey Robb.

Yep. It's a slow day here at InfMonks. A lot more readin' than writin'. Of course, look what happened when I spoke up yesterday.
posted by R.B. at 7:14 PM

 
"Elementary, Watson...."

Roger L. Simon, may have deduced the true nature of FOXNews' foolishness with regard to "he-who-must-not-be-named." Plausibility aside, Simon's take on who's funny and who ain't is spot on.
posted by R.B. at 1:24 PM

 
Is that Burt Reynolds? Looks more like Magnum-era Tom Selleck to me. I didn't watch the show, but didn't he tromp around Hawaii wearing a Dodgers cap?
posted by RobbL at 8:27 AM

 
Iconography (Updated)

This morning the guys at Fraters Libertas are beginning a theme-based overhaul of their site graphics. They've been in attendance at the Great Minnesota "Sweat-To-Gedder," a.k.a. The State Fair, and their weblog reflects it. There's a photo of hot Lileks on Generalissimo action in the SPAM-Shack drive-thru booth. (Which for some reason, reminded me of this picture from the Bad Publicity section of the Institute of Official Cheer. I'll let you decide who's who in my twisted association. Wait, on second thought, don't.)

There's a fair ticket stub lower in the FL left hand column, and for some reason, at the top left, there's a haunting image of Burt Reynolds done in the the style of those religious altar candles in the Mexican food section of the grocery store.

UPDATE: As pointed out in Robb's post above, it would appear that I am not a maven of premillennial moustached men. Yes, a Google Image Search shows that the Dodger hat must have been a signature of the Magnum man. But I'm stickin' with my assesment of the picture's stylistic genre.
posted by R.B. at 7:54 AM

 
This afternoon, my wife came home and informed me that yesterday's Hugh Hewitt show was, at that very moment, getting a Saturday rebroadcast. I didn't quite know how to take that. I was excited that the blog plug would get another local airing, but as I wrote below, I wasn't thrilled with my own performance in the call. She reassured me that, having heard the call from home yesterday, I sounded fine, and that I had nothing to worry about.

When I tuned in, the show was still in its second hour. It would be a while before my call rolled around. Then, I wound up getting an email from the fill-in host of the HH show's Friday State Fair exSPAMaganza. Lileks echoed my wife's take on my call. "You were just fine," they were both telling me.

But I just had to see for myself. Were they just protecting me? Kindly trying to spare me? Well, as it turns out, they were right. It wasn't that bad. My cell phone did sound awful though. And the timbre of my voice was much different than I anticipated. But the call didn't sound like the disaster I had envisioned. Part of that seemed to be due to the fact that I did get faded down before I began to get a little hectic. Knowing what to listen for, I could hear myself just beginning to sputter behind the Lileks' and Duane's interesting conversation (I hadn't been able to hear what they were saying yesterday over the phone). I could hear myself stammer "Sign-Boy..." But the business about our new URL (http://www.infinitemonkeysblog.com, which currently auto-redirects to, well...right here), and imminent liberation from Blog*Spot was mercifully abridged by the commercial break.

Oh, and here's an update no one will believe. In my first post on said phone call, I "updated" with a plug for Lileks' book and revealed our family secret of keeping a few copies of it around as "emergency gift" inventory. Well, this afternoon, we were driving to my brother-in-law's house for a get-together recognizing his and two other recent family birthdays. What was my wife wrapping in the car on the drive over? Yep, a copy of The Gallery of Regrettable Food. I asked if she had read my post update of only about 2 hours before. "Huh? No. Why?" I know, it's just a little too convenient to seem credible. But that's how it really happened.

Lastly -- still waiting for that email from Sign-Boy. (Don't worry, S.B., I get choked up when Iron Giant says, "Super-man... at the end too.)
posted by R.B. at 10:24 PM

 
Questions

Personally, I'm just flabbergasted that no Monkey has posted on Bill Simon gracefully bowing out of the race. Is there significance to the timing of the move? I got the the news late this (Saturday) afternoon. Seems like a targeted move at the slowest point in the news cycle. What would be the benefits/effects of such timing? Is he trying minimize the buzz and pressure on McClintock to follow his lead? His rhetoric seemed to slightly hint otherwise.

In a similar vein, I've been wondering how Arnold's feint over his candidacy had the effect of keeping someone like Feinstein out of the race, as I've heard some claim? I've heard lots of talk about the masterful AS headfake, but I don't know how to connect the dots. How does the inside baseball play out in such a situation.

Anyone?

Bueller?

Ben Stein?
posted by R.B. at 9:30 PM

 
Truly, the Lord works in mysterious ways.

Update: The link to the Boston Herald that I posted earlier decided to stop working for some reason. I've replaced it with a link to CNN's story on the late, unlamented John Geoghan.
posted by Ben at 4:48 PM

 
Is The Gong Show... Is Not The Gong Show"

Today my wife and I were still trading observations about last night's trainwreck of a movie choice [3 posts down on this page]. She explained that she did experience some of the sympathetic embarrassment that I had reported, but mostly it was just wearying for her. Tiresome. She said it was like watching a bad comedian laugh at his own stale jokes. And it just kept going on. And on.

She knew that I completely understood her when I expounded on her position. I asked if she remembered when we gave in to nostalgia and went to see The Unknown Comic at a nearby comedy club. The schtick was funny enough...for the first half of the set -- until he took off the paper bag. Then he was just Murray Langston, the lame comic. It was painful. You felt embarrassed just to be witnessing it. It just went mercilessly on and on. It was just like watching Chicago.
posted by R.B. at 2:15 PM

 
I'm beginning to understand the Democrats strateregy: if anything goes wrong, blame it alll on Bush. Didn't get a seat on the train? It's because of Bush's lack of a subway seating policy. Paid ten bucks for a movie that totally sucked? It's because the administration's has refused that take a serious look at entertainment reform. Girlfriend won't put out? It's because of the president's irresponsible tax cut making your gal pal less that ethusiastic about your amorous overtures. And I'll tell you something else pal, that quagmire in Iraq sure ain't making your lady feel any more frisky that's for sure.

See, I could be a Democrat, easy.
posted by Dr. Monkeystein at 11:33 AM

 
It always feel sort of pointless to link to something on Instapundit. I mean, what are the chances that an InfMonks reader (or anyone else) hasn't already seen what Pope Reynolds has highlighted on the web? Well, it's Saturday morning. Folks may be on a completely different routine...

Disclaimer aside, the blogfather nails it in this post about "he-who-must-not-be-named." Oh, and in his 9:54 AM post this morning, he also completes an unposted thought I had yesterday -- 10,000 succumb to the heat in France? I mean, I had heard of some deaths, but I figured it would be on the scale of what we see among Texas' elderly population each summer. Good grief.
posted by R.B. at 7:48 AM

 
...the horror...

I'm still reeling from the waves of sympathetic embarrassment. I just suffered through 2002's "Best Motion Picture of the Year," the stunningly unbearable Chicago. It just kept getting worse. And worse. And...

Ughh! The only thing that could save this abomination would be a DVD feature whereby one could access and overlay the silhouettes and comments of Joel/Mike & the 'bots from MST3K.

The "Cell Block Tango / He Had It Comin'" routine.... Lord, just take me now. I can't bear the humiliation.

The "I Can't Do It Alone" windmill moves and tapdancing... No - just...stop it. STOP!

The marionette scene... NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

That part where Reneé Zellweger scrunched up her face (no, the time she did it on purpose), pursed her lips and made the farting sound... Well, yeah -- that about sums it up.

If this is what "Moulin Rouge!" hath wrought, then I pray I never suffer the misfortune of seeing the evil progenitor of this modern musical travesty. For such a calamity to come to pass, it would probably require coercion of an ineluctable [DING! George Will word] nature.
posted by R.B. at 12:13 AM

 
Reclaim the Shame

The movie hour on the [You-Know-Who] show, the last broadcast hour of the week, is just a crappy time to force in a shameless blog plug. I got Lileks to announce our URL on national radio and say, "Consider it plugged, buddy," but that's the happy studio-cut of the sad, sad true story.

It seemed like I had started to work it in real smooth-like. This week's list was about the top ten science fiction movies, as interpretted by James Lileks guest hosting for Hugh and for the regular movie guy, Emmett of The Unblinking Eye. Listeners call in after the ten have been announced, usually to express disbelief at how some perfect candidate got left off the list. I opened the call by throwing a bone to the guys at Pathetic Earthlings blog, claiming that they might be disappointed in how few cheesy 50's and 60's classics made the cut. I think that just didn't click in Lileks' head. There was a brief awkward silence. So, I quickly prefaced my movie nomination by explaining that some election oversight panel would probably forbid my call to be broadcast in California. So far so good, er... well, not too bad. Then I announced my movie -- Terminator 2. I offered a disclaimer about its sci-fi status, and Lileks offered a thoughtful explanation of why it was a contender, but unworthy of the list's final draft. Arnold, the Lileks picture, the Terminator movie, it all fit together. Things were going well.

Then the wheels fell off -- I was on my cell so I couldn't hear much of what Lileks and the show's producer were saying. I wanted to remind Lileks that I was the guy who had "photoshoped" his face onto the body of Schwarzenegger with a topless woman on his shoulders (you remember -- the old picture that was dug up by his political opponents). I got the reminder out. Lileks recalled who I was, and I fumbled around, sort of stating that I wanted to plug my blog. From my end, it sounded like I kept stepping on his and the producers' comments. I was thrilled that Lileks rattled off our URL, and should have been satisfied, but he added, "isn't that right?"

But, you know me -- Mr. "Well-technically-speaking..." who rarely knows when to shut up. See, we have recently launched a new, non-Blog*Spot address that currently forwards to this Blogger site, but will someday soon lead to our new MoveableType-based site. Unfortunately, I launched into a promotional spasm that must have sounded like a castaway on a deserted island, frantically calling out to a passing boat. Under my own hype, I could hear the bumper music starting -- we were going to commercial, and I hadn't finished explaining our imminent liberation from Blog*Spot, our new web address, and hadn't even begun to make a plea for SIGN-BOY to EMAIL ME! (Hugh was going to work on finding Sign-Boy's or Sign-Guy's email addresses for me, so I could provide some Latin slogans for these special broadcasts from the Minnesota State Fair, but his urgent family business rightfully put HH incommunicado.)

I don't know if my ranting was faded down by the show's talented producer before I really got to embarrassing myself, or if the world heard me implode in a frenzy. The call ended as I hit serious traffic on the I-10. I turned the radio back up and heard my call ending (there's a few seconds of broadcast delay, doncha' know...) and it sounded rather smooth. Because you couldn't hear me. I'm wondering if they had to use the "dump" button to buy a few seconds to clean up the end of my call. Frankly, I wouldn't blame the crew if they politely ignored me the next time the call screener punches my name up as a caller on hold.


The avalanche of new readers? Looks like about 12 hits. Woot. (spins one finger in the air) I don't blame Lileks, or the show, and certainly not the audience. Why would anyone who heard my call be moved to think, "Now there's a guy whose opinions I need to read!"?

< Eeyore voice > Not much of a call... < /Eeyore voice >

Honestly, I doubt that I'll be able to pass on calling in during movie hour, but from now on, I'm not pluggin' the blog during the scant few seconds of airtime. I'd rather just focus on tryin' to make a quality contribution instead.

Oh yeah, and SIGN-BOY, EMAIL ME! (address cryptically listed in the upper left-hand corner of this page.)

UPDATE: All this and I forget to reciprocate! You really ought to buy Lileks' book, The Gallery of Regrettable Food. My family has picked up a few for those times when you need come up with a gift on short notice. For anyone who doesn't know who James Lileks is, his site is here. (Normally I'd send you to his daily Bleat, but a new one won't be up until Monday. You'll find plenty to read/gawk at on his site before then.)
posted by R.B. at 8:03 PM

 
If you found your way here through the shameless plug on today's Hugh Hewitt show, our post that includes both naughty and nice versions of the "photoshop" of Lileks' face on Arnold's pic (with the topless girl on his shoulders) can be found here.
posted by R.B. at 6:01 PM

 
I'm off to Burning Man. Back after Labor Day...but I'm sure my co-monkeys will be blogging early and often.
posted by David at 5:03 PM

 
InfMonks Sing the Praises of Someone (sort of) New + some old hits

Well, Hugh Hewitt is (rightfully) on leave, and though his guest host, the Cow-Chowin' Reliever*, is more than competent, he doesn't quite inspire me to my usual love-fest of HH show links and citations. What to do?

Well, the guys at Power Line have stepped up. It's a fine fine day at the Northern Alliance outpost. It must be the aroma of Minnesota State Fair food in the air (deep-fried candy bars?). Whatever it is, they're really putting on an exemplary display. From a fine commencement address excerpt from Hillsdale College's indispensable Imprimis publication, to Marty Robbins (who, I'm ashamed to say, I always get mixed up with Slim Whitman), to Danish pizza, to a second take on the ur-neocon.

Start here (Power Line link) and read up.

* Thanks to St. Paul of Fraters Libertas for the link. Well, not just the "link" but for orchestrating the contents of the linked page.
posted by R.B. at 6:38 PM

 
Dry State Update - Janet vs. Everybody

Anecdotal evidence alert!

Well, not to belittle Brad's "kill" last night, but things might finally be loosening up around here. I've been out of town most of the week, but I just got back in town today. I went to grab a little lunch down at I-10 & Chandler Boulevard, and the Chevron station there had plenty of gas, all three grades, and scarcely a person taking advantage. I don't know if I just lucked out and caught the "window" after the tanker truck left but before everyone else realized this station had gas, but I wasn't about to ask questions - with no guilt whatsoever I drove up and "topped off" my tank that was still 2/3 full.

After reading Brad's post, I feel a little like the one guy who blew off hunting in favor of a trip to the butcher shop. I feel no sense of victory or satisfaction, but my belly is full.

"Burp!"

posted by RobbL at 1:42 PM

 
Dry State Update MCXX - "This Time It's Personal"

I'm not nearly as on top of the details here today as I was Tuesday. Here's a very basic summary of the highlights. The pipeline was tested yesterday morning. It was a high pressure test (with water - heavier and denser than gasoline) and the pipeline failed the test in (I think) two places. Repairs are underway. The good news, for the shortage and the security angle I was musing about, is that the pipeline owners are planning on rerouting the gasoline to the valley through another one of their pipelines that normally carries jet fuel to the valley.

[UPDATE/CORRECTION: I know you just couldn't live without this detail. That jet fuel pipeline usually pumps from Phoenix to Tucson. Not the other way around. Oh, and the latest word is that the temporary reroute and reversal ought to be delivering gasoline to the Valley (of the Sun) this Sunday night.]

As of yesterday my wife was still carpooling with her mom. Her SUV (no apologies here, pal) sat on E in the driveway for another day. She was able to bring home a gallon of gas from work, so last night around 8:15 I wetted the tank and took the SUV out on the hunt. The places I had seen with long lines over the last few days? Nope. Now they were taped up and abandoned too. As I rolled on, mile after mile, I began to kick myself for not checking the websites of the local newschannels. Hadn't they mentioned something about updated maps showing open gas stations? D'oh, and I forgot my cellphone too. Down to primal, low tech, instinctive gas hunting.

I finally found an AM/PM Arco that had long lines. Dang... they don't take credit cards. Oh well, I've got $16 in cash. I counted an average of just over 20 cars at the station while I waited. (A police officer my wife spoke with today had explained that he had been placed on "gas-station duty" over the last few days, and that there had been consistent lulls in the lines just after 8:00 PM.) As I made my way to the pump, there was a lot of confusion. Since most folks had to position their cars, then go inside to pay, there were many awkward situations. Are you leaving? Are you going? Is that your spot? What pump are we on?

At one point, I wound up putting my vehicle alongside one pump just to hold the spot while a woman who had been there longer than I had maneuvered her car into place and went inside to pay. Later, as she was pumping, I waited in the line inside at the register. But I got to the front before she was finished pumping. Can't I just pay now, since I'm obviously next on that pump? Well, it turns out that they were so low on gas that they wouldn't take any advance payments, in case the tanks ran dry before the woman ahead of me was finished. It was that close.

But, I did finally get $16 's worth of gas. This time only the lowest octane grade was available. That gave me enough to continue the hunt. My needle was still only near the 1/4 tank level, so I didn't feel any guilt about violating our ridiculous governor's plea for folks not resist "topping off." Days' worth of carpooling assuaged any lingering feelings of selfishness.

About 12 miles later, I found another live station. These lines were more like 14 cars long. After the wait, the lady ahead of me had pulled her PT Cruiser in the wrong way and couldn't get the nozzle into the dealy-bob (yep, Bulk-Fuel trained Marine can't remember what you call that receptacle thingy on a car - the rim that the gas cap clips into - but I can fill it!) So, as I back out to give her room to maneuver a turnaround, some joker zips his little red import in, right into her (and soon-to-be my) spot at the pump!

Okay, remain calm. Be cool. Walk slowly, unthreateningly up the his window. He's looking at his girlfriend in the passenger's seat. (I can just barely see her over this guy's big wide shoulders.) That's when I realize that this guy is big and looks more like a Marine than I ever did. Oh great... I've already tapped on his window. Hey, I might make the news! "Local blogger killed in gas line dispute." Luckily, about the same time that the hulk was beginning to sneer at me, he noticed that the lady who had turned around was approaching, along with two other guys who had been using the pumps on the other side of the "island." Apparently, speed-racer's move was noticed by most everyone there, and he was meeting with the glaring scorn of nearly as dozen nonplussed onlookers.

The interloper must have realized that he had earned the ire of the longsuffering gas station patrons, and he wasn't willing to face up the quiet but stern group staring him down. Much to my relief, there was room for him to gun his engine and zip out of the lot unhindered. Whew. It was kind of interesting how no words needed to be exchanged by those of us left at the gas station. We just glanced at each other, and all I had to do was quickly lift my eyebrows and tilt my head for them to pick up and acknowledge my gratitude.

So I waited for the PT Cruiser to finish, gassed up, and headed home. I felt like I was some sort of primitive, bringing home a kill. Well, I felt that, plus the tempering sobriety of having needed (or at least been happy to have) the pack around me for protection.
posted by R.B. at 1:28 PM

 
Good post on the T(ee) V(ee) restrictions, but what about the Cruz Bustamante, er I mean Jon Polito movies? Should they be fair game for broadcast? Certainly, their effect could be viewed as neither supporting or flattering to the Lt. Gov., but any publicity is good publicity, as they say, as long as they spell your screen name right.

Just thought I should mention it, since Michael Medved ain't the only one who's been pointing out the Polito/Bustamante dual career.
posted by R.B. at 7:21 AM

 
The Made-for-T(ee)V(ee) Election

If you'd like a break from all of the serious political discourse about Gray, Arnold, and the other governor wannabes, stroll on over to TeeVee.org for Philip Michaels's "Station Break" about the affect California Election Law has on television programming. Or, for fans of Drudge & The Smoking Gun who can't get enough of that typewriter font, you can read the exact same article on Phil's weblog.

Current Song: "Kill Your Television" from the album God Fodder by Ned's Atomic Dustbin

Current Drink: Diet Coke from the fountain at Carl's Jr.

posted by RobbL at 2:07 PM

 
While I agree with Powerline's (via Brad's link) assertion that it is ridiculous to pretend that Judeo-Christian morality didn't play an essential role in our country's founding and the presuppositions of many of the founding fathers, I think most of the conservative discourse on last year's "taking God out of the pledge" debacle misses a much more important point. To quote Lawrence O'Donnell on the June 28, 2002 edition of The McLaughlin Group:

And it's funny to see this country getting all hopped up over a hundred-year-old poem written by a socialist, who would -- and when you look at the Declaration of Independence, written by Thomas Jefferson, you can tell not one of those signatories would want to believe that we now have a loyalty oath in this country that we must recite, by law, in public schools.

O'Donnell is dead right. It is obscene that we ask, we COMMAND, children to recite a loyalty oath before they are even mature enough to understand the promise they are making. To underscore the silliness of the furor, McLaughlin points out that, "The Pledge of Allegiance dates to 1892, but the words 'one nation, under God' were not added until 1954."

Further, everyone seems to avoid an even larger point about reciting ANYTHING in a public school: The government, particularly the federal government, has NO DAMN BUSINESS running education in this country. Education is inherently moral, inherently religious. You are training minds to think a certain way, and that kind of control should not be left in the hands of the state, particularly a state founded on Enlightenment principles of individual liberty. Cases like this only underscore the problem of having the government meddle in territory that is not theirs to manage.
posted by RobbL at 12:23 PM

 
Don't swim with seals. Bad things happen.
posted by David at 12:42 AM

 
Big Trunk has two posts for the ages over at Power Line (well, technically two days ago now). This one and this one. You should see them. The ACLU should see them. (Then the ACLU folks should slink home with their collective tail between their legs.)
posted by R.B. at 12:22 AM

 
A headline at OpinionJournal, Frank Lloyd Wright may yet "build" Baghdad, struck a memory: before I went to California and went to college with co-monkey Ben, I went to Arizona State University with co-monkey R.B., and across from our dorm was Gammage Auditorium. I remembered hearing that Frank Lloyd Wright had "designed it for some sheik or something but it never got built." The OpinionJournal article doesn't mention this fact, Wright did use his Baghdad ideas, albeit in a different desert with asphalt instead of rivers running under its sweeping walkways.

There's some good discussion of all of this, with pictures, here.
posted by David at 12:19 AM

 
Start time: 8:23 p.m., Pacific Daylight Time

Tonight, sadly, I blog from Purgatory. For those of you that enjoyed my light-hearted evening in Paradise, just move on to the next entry. There's nothing to see here.

Current Drink: well martini, straight up with an extra olive
Current Song: "Bad To The Bone" by George Thorogood and the Destroyers

You see, I'm not in glorious San Francisco, drinking and dining at the magnificent Fiddler's Green. No, today I am eating sub-par ribs at the Tony Roma's across the street from Disneyland, the so-called "Happiest Place on Earth." Well, I will confess that I hold a soft place in my heart for the Magic Kingdom, but today it merely mocks me. This week is the last "blackout week" for the Southern California Annual Pass, and I can hear the Matterhorn mocking me as I shuffle by the park entrance from my hotel, past the Most Expensive IHOP On Earth, to Tony Roma's. It laughs, and I weep.

Current Song: "Venus" by Bananarama

The music is bad. Not HORRIBLE, merely bad. Pop and disco from the 70's, 80's, and 90's. The reason I say it is not horrible has to do with my recent realization that this "smooth jazz" that Clear Channel has foisted upon every major radio market is truly the Worst Music Ever. I never cared for it much, but when I was forced to listen to it for 45 minutes straight as my father drove me home from a baseball game, I grew to loathe it. The muscles in my neck tightened, my blood vessels expanding at the base of my skull. To make matters worse, the Diamondbacks lost the game to the freaking New York Mets.

Music like this is one of several reasons I describe this place as Purgatory. It's not exactly Hell. It doesn't feel like eternal punishment. But it DOES make me feel like my sins are being purged by way of annoying music. I didn't get the benefit of a Catholic prep school education like Brad did, but I'm pretty sure that's the kind of stuff Dante described in volume two of the Divine Comedy.

Current Drink: Martini #2
Current Song: "You Can Call Me Al" by Paul Simon

I didn't set out to have dinner at Tony Roma's, especially this one. Back in Arizona, you can usually count on TR's to give you a pretty decent plate of unclean meat. But this one is the "I'm across the street from Disneyland so I don't have to try" Tony Roma's. My ribs were dry, the selection of whisk(e)y, wine, and beer were all unsatisfactory, and the service is "phoned in". Knowing this, I asked the front desk at my hotel if there was any place other than TR's where I could get a nice dinner. When they suggested Mimi's Cafe, I knew I was not going to get anywhere asking this crew. So I grabbed my briefcase and trudged past the snickering Matterhorn on my way to "Downtown Disney", the outdoor mall wedged between Disneyland and Disney's California Adventure. I should have known better.

Virtually all of the restaurants in DD were owned by the same company, and they all offered the same kind of over-priced watered-down faux-sophisticated cuisine you can expect from a Disney theme park. Ever had dinner at the Blue Bayou, inside the Pirates of the Caribbean ride? That's what I'm talking about. There was a House of Blues and an ESPN Zone. I considered entering the latter and seeing if they were airing tonight's Diamondbacks game, but I really wanted a decent meal, even if I had to find out later about our crushing defeat [we actually won, 6-1, but I didn't know that at the time]. While reviewing the DD directory, I noticed a restaurant or two inside the Grand Californian resort that looked appealing, so I wandered inside. No such luck. The one restaurant that looked like it might have something good was outrageously priced, and there was no way I was going to pay $70+ for DisneyFood.

With my tail between my legs, I walked back to the Rib-o-rama.

Current Song: "Don't Worry, Be Happy" by Bobby McFerrin
Current Meal: Some kind of "rib sampler" with four different types of ribs, baked potato, and corn on the cob

You know, for having just consumed two martinis, I'm feeling pretty much stone sober. That's not what I was shooting for, I'll tell ya. Numb would be a better description of the target. I spent about two hours floating in my pool Saturday waging war with my pool sweep, which stubbornly refused to enter the shallow end of the pool and take care of business. At the end of two hours, I left the pool defeated, with an outrageous sunburn to remind me of the pool sweep's superior skill in battle. I would like my expensive beverages to at least make the pain of my sunburn go away.

By the way, I hate my pool. This is the first pool I've ever owned, and I really don't like it. Oh, I enjoyed it for the first 6-8 weeks or so. But then came the cleaning. The cleaning and the chemicals and the cracked plaster and the motherf--ing pool sweep that won't visit the shallow end. Growing up, my sister and I always wanted a pool, but my father stubbornly refused. "Too much work, and you'll never use it." I'm sorry, Dad. I'm sorry I ever doubted you. I take back every stupid thing I said as a teenager.

Current Song: "She's Got the Look" by Roxxette
Current Drink: Samuel Adams Summer Ale

I should have had another martini, but I bought a beer so I could sip it and have time to blog. My ribs are long gone. Mediocre, but filling, and I was quite hungry after my journey through the Crappiest Mall on Earth. Part of my problem is that I don't have a car - I made a critical error in estimating the distance between my hotel and the customer I'm servicing during this trip, and had our local sales guy pick me up from "the three named airport" (is it John Wayne? Santa Ana? Orange County? it's a mystery), so now I don't have a vehicle. If I did, I could have driven away from tourist-ville and found either a good restaurant or at least a place where I could buy a good bottle of wine to take back to my hotel room.

Anyway, I'm sipping the beer, blogging, and hoping that in a few minutes I'll have room for dessert, and that dessert will be better than dinner. Crazy. Maybe the martinis are having an effect after all.

Current Song: "Addicted to Love" by Robert Palmer

Okay, about the whole ROPMA thing, I know it's frequently used in conjunction with some sort of jingoistic ranting, but there's really something to the phrase. I mean, if Christians have to take the rap for the Crusades and the Inquisition, hundreds of years after the fact when none of the perpetrators are alive anymore, shouldn't SOMEONE have to own up to the fact that it doesn't MATTER if your scriptures aren't in sync with the behavior in question. What matters is that the clergy are actively encouraging murder and mayhem in the name of God. And the clergy ARE the religion - there's no Martin Luther going around proclaiming the doctrine of "Sola Korana". What the mullahs say, goes.

Maybe I'm being overly simplistic - I'm not trying to say it's a universal thing, any more than I would accept the assertion that all Christians are intolerant murdering bigots. But it DOES seem like the active religious leadership are highly complicit in the current misdeeds. Where is the opposition from within the active clergy? Pat Robertson may be a bonehead, but there are 100 other Christian leaders saying he's a bonehead. There are 1,000 Christian clergymen who will stand up and tell you that the Crusades and the Inquisition were horrible abuses of power by a corrupt church that had lost its way.

I probably shouldn't be thinking out loud, but these demons have been nagging me, and here in Purgatory the nagging is particularly loud. Are Americans really so stupid that if our President doesn't get on the television and tell them half-truths about Islam, they'll go on a killing spree, senselessly murdering any person with a funny name? On second thought, maybe so.

Current Song: "Boogie Oogie Oogie" by ??? [holy cow, who programs this stuff?]
Current Drink: Bailey's and coffee with too much whipped cream

Hey, a guy deserves a sissy drink after an ad-hoc rant like that. This one has a maraschino cherry on top. I hate maraschino cherries, but I can tie the stem into a knot with my tongue. I learned how reading an interview with Lara Flynn Boyle in Rolling Stone back when "Twin Peaks" was on the air. Sherilynn Fenn (sp?) actually did the tongue thing on the show, but confessed in her own interview that she didn't know how to do the trick, but LFB could do it. Anyway, it's not really a marketable skill unless you're a hustler...

I ordered the "Skillet Brownie Sundae". Hopefully it won't be as dry as the ribs.

Current Song: "I Touch Myself" by Divinyls

Oh, I almost forgot to tell you my "edumacated waitress" story. There's a restaurant in the Valley called "Uncle Sam's", that serves American-Italian food. The food's good, but they serve Pepsi products, so I pretty much "have" to order a beer when I eat there. One afternoon, I was meeting one of my business partners for some wings and a beer, and the waitress approached the table to take my drink order. We were going to be there for a couple of hours, but Dave wasn't going to be drinking, so I didn't want to order a whole pitcher for myself. I asked the waitress if I could have a pint of Fat Tire, one of my preferred malt beverages. She informed me that they didn't have pints, only glasses, 1/2 pitchers, and pitchers.

"What sizes are your glasses?" I asked.

"Sixteen ounces," she replied.

"I'll just have one of those, then," I replied. Somewhat gracious of me, I thought.

Current Song: "Footloose" by Kenny Loggins
Current Drink: coffee, with four little half & half cups

Ugh. I've got to get out of here. "Check, please!"

(If only Dante had considered this route of escape)
posted by RobbL at 10:54 PM

 
Dry State Update MCXIX

This evening has allowed the media to steamroll past my ability to stay on top of the latest developments in the gas shortage. The meeting between our (still) ridiculous governor and the pipeline owners was described as "heated" by the KTVK-3 news folks. Prices of just one tenth of a cent below $4/gallon were confirmed. There's lots of talk about inspection reports over the last year or so warning of corrosion and some damage to the 30 year old pipeline. It was reported as an aside that federal inspectors have admitted that the exact location of current failure did not correspond directly with previously cited spots along the pipeline.

Waits today reached two hours. There were lots of overheated cars, overheated people, and stranded gasless motorists. There were also many stories of the lengths to which some phoenix residents resorted (not to mention footage of some hot headed scenes at the pumps). Many people drove an hour and a half out of town to get to the remaining available gas. That's about the equivalent of 1/8th of a tank spent (each way?) for a fill up. Other clever folks dug deep in the wallet to take out rental cars that had full tanks.

One enterprising oddball put his personal gas finding abilities up on eBay.
posted by R.B. at 10:30 PM

 
Dry State Update MCXVIII

Good news and bad news.

The good news is that the radio has just announced that our ridiculous governor has talked with the EPA and is planning on exercising her authority to allow non-MTBE-added gasoline into the state for use during the crisis. Similarly, she is supposedly taking steps to increase truck driver's allowable driving hours from 70 to 80 hours per week. Okay, maybe she's a little less ridiculous now.

The bad news is that our family doesn't have the gas (in our family-sized car) to go to my folks' place for our weekly dinner. My wife explained upon returning home that "there's simply no gas." She passed an open station on her way to OfficeMax (over 40 cars in line). On her way home (with the needle on E) that station was closed. No other station between there and home was open. There's simply no gas. Not right now, anyway.

UPDATE: My wife reports - this morning when her brother headed to work at 4:30 AM there were already lines 20 cars long at the pumps near his home in Ahwatukee. This evening I lobbied for an empirical test: ordering delivery pizza to see if the drivers had gas. My wife reported that they ordered pizza at her office today without difficulty. Lastly, my brother-in-law has been working on a project up north in Prescott and is scheduled to bring some gas down to the valley for the family business' trucks in the morning.
posted by R.B. at 5:40 PM

 
Dry State Update VIII

Lynne Kiesling over at The Knowldge Problem has been tackling the matters of energy and the dangers of the interconnectedness of the electrical power grid, in light of the modern threat of terrorism and other factors. Well, our little crisis here in Arizona has me wondering about our fuel supply's lack of interconnectedness. The 30 year old pipeline that has led to 30% of our gasoline inflow being cut off is just an 8-inch pipe - at least that's how everybody keeps describing it - out there in the desert. I really don't know if it's above ground or buried, but pipelines are notoriously insecure with regard to sabotage. Guarding pipelines is practically an exercise in futility. The real goal of patrolling such fuel lines is to keep an eye out for leaks and failures like the one that caused our current mess. (I never thought my time as a Marine in a Bulk Fuel company would have any relevance to my blogging, but here we are.)

[UPDATE: Just found out that at least portions of the pipeline are buried. And while we're talking about it, isn't it convenient that this article (and now this post) tells the world exactly where to find the pipeline's vulnerable spot? Don't worry. Nobody reads this blog.]

The Kinder Morgan Energy Partners pipeline system in question carries 30% of Arizona's total fuel flow in from Texas (the other 70% comes from California). But what a fragile link for a whopping fraction of our energy demand! No, I don't have a solution worked out already. I'll leave that to Lynne Kiesling and the policy makers smart enough to listen to such a talented blogger/commentator.

Does pointing out the security threat highlighted by the Ohio/New York outage and the dry gas tanks in Phoenix amount to political piling on? Maybe. But tell me how such a concern is unworthy of study.
posted by R.B. at 4:47 PM

 
Dry State Update VII

This just in via the radio: Local legislators are calling on our ridiculous governor to exercise the power she already has through Executive Order to suspend the MTBE requirement for our local gasoline.

Meanwhile, democratic supporters in the legislature and elsewhere are being reported on the radio as denouncing those who would lay the blame for the crisis at the feet of our ridiculous governor. Still no word yet on her planned meeting with the EPA advisors. (Yes, that last sentence was meant to sound sarcastic.)
posted by R.B. at 4:11 PM

 
Proud Papa Update

I bought the 4-disc DVD box set of the first season (26 episodes) of Rocky & Bullwinkle & Friends, and my three and five year old daughters LOVE it. Especially "Fractured Fairy Tales". They watched seven straight episodes (the first disc) while lounging with me on the couch Sunday. I'll bet our ridiculous governor's children don't have such exceptional taste. That is, if she has any offspring that she hasn't eaten.
posted by RobbL at 3:53 PM

 
Dry State Update VI

This article seconds the 10 days to two weeks resolution time frame. It's a good article, mentioning how supplies that normally last 12 hours in a gas station are being drained in 4 to 8 hours. Remember, this is not due to hording. It's because so many of the other stations have no gas at all.

[Editorial] I am bothered by those who claim that there is no shortage. Whether there's gas at the tank farm downtown or not, there's not much out in the stations, where people can get to it. That's a shortage, friend. Yes, there's gasoline all around our neighboring states, but not a drop to drink. Our MTBE additive requirements make that fuel unusable to us. So, there really is a shortage. The tanker trucks from Tucson may really be bringing a total of more gasoline than we usually consume, but some are being rerouted (still don't know where), and they don't deliver to anywhere but the bottlenecked tank farm. I'm sorry, but the conditions on the street can't be ignored. It's a "shortage" no matter how you want to parse it.

And I haven't seen any evidence of hording. None, other than the expressed concerns of our ridiculous governor. I have to believe it's a red herring, designed to plant a seed of blame shifting. "Don't top off." Well, I think the 45 minute waits are doing more to prevent that than any nannying from officials.

UPDATE: Ahh... finally a grown up enters the scene. I haven't been a big fan of Congressman Jeff Flake, but I have to praise the report that today he has petitioned the EPA to temporarily relax our MTBE additive requirements.

There's also now a report that a spokesperson for our ridiculous governor is in talks with the AZ National Guard about using some 16 military tanker trucks (2,500 gallon capacity) to haul gas for the duration of the "shortage."

UPDATE "[The MTBE added fuel] is expensive and nobody wants to make it," ConocoPhillips' [official] said, "particularly since the blend will be changed to a winter formula Oct. 31."
posted by R.B. at 3:33 PM

 
Dry State Update V

Earlier I tried to keep some perspective and maintain a distinction between our dry-county situation and the "rolling blackout" experienced by New York and neighboring states last week. Well, Tucson's local Fox affiliate informs us that our ridiculous governor isn't holding back on the equation.

UPDATE: Some of the impact on local business is accounted for in this article.

"Our main buyers are the ding-a-ling trucks that sell ice cream," said Jesus Jaramillo, president of Phoenix-based Highland Wholesale. "If they can't put gas in their vans, they can't go out and sell our ice cream."

Now before you jump on me for being unfair in (over)stating my claim that Phoenix ain't Manhattan, let me point out that that was the first point made in the linked article. Yes, the crisis is having a more grave impact on the state than just some curbed ice cream vendors. I just couldn't resist taking this opportunity to shine a light on what a class act our big local Gannett newspaper is.
posted by R.B. at 2:42 PM

 
Dry State Update IV

Early word that the pipeline has been cleared for re-testing, but the details are awfully thin. (Honestly, the link isn't even worth your time. This post and the article's headline give you all the info that's currently available. I'd like to know how long the testing procedure should take.)

UPDATE: The radio is reporting that the testing has been approved and that there is a possibilty that the pipeline could be back in operation this weekend.

Developing...
posted by R.B. at 2:24 PM

 
Dry State Update III

Oh man. Now the radio is telling me that our ridiculous governor is warning us that it could be up to two weeks before the shortage issues are smoothed out.

This just in:

Napolitano [our ridiculous governor] is also scheduled to receive policy recommendations from the Department of Environmental Quality on what kind of regulatory reforms could be enacted in the short-term to help the flow of gas.

Oh, that's good news. Bringing in business specialists...

Now there's talk of our ridiculous governor weighing immediate mandatory rationing and maneuvering anti-gouging price regulations onto the legislative agenda.

(As they say) developing...

UPDATE: confirmation of the "two weeks" comment and the legislation available here.
posted by R.B. at 2:05 PM

 
It's hard to wade through the details of the situation and its lawsuits, but King at SCSU Scholars updates us (with several quality links) on yet another development in the ascendence of post-modern "higher critics" as the delineators of the new orthodoxy. One of the players in the complicated drama, Carey Walsh, explains of Rhodes College:

In this religion department, Jesus, I was informed by the New Testament scholar no less, was a wimp, Paul an idiot, the Resurrection, a no-brainer (no), God, alas, an ancient delusion, irrelevant yet curiously worthy of contempt.

I'm no saint or fundamentalist, just an average, lazy Catholic, tolerant of differences, but I was deceived and axed when I didn't share cynicism about faith.

She's certainly no fundamentalist. Walsh reminds me of the sort of person I recently wrote about. The higher-education maven is anything but a Puritan. Far from being a religious righter, she is nonetheless falling victim to the machinations of those who are revealed as wearers of the emperor's new clothes.
posted by R.B. at 2:01 PM

 
Dry State Update II

Confirmed gas prices as high $3.80 per gallon are being reported on today's news. Two weeks ago the averge price for a gallon in these parts was $1.50.

In better news, some state senators are putting the screws to Napolitano (our ridiculous governor) to take substantial action. The timeline on the pipeline repair approval is now back to being described as 3-5 days, but that's what they were saying two days ago. (The 7-10 day time frame was publicly in play all day yesterday and last night.)

Surprisingly, our ridiculous governor's office is now publicly shifting the blame for the delay to the owners of the pipeline (the folks who've already fixed it). The buck stops there, I guess.
posted by R.B. at 1:40 PM

 
Dry State Update

In my last post, I mentioned that lines for gas were about 12-14 cars long. Well, having just come in off the streets, today's lines (before the lunch hour rush) are running at least 30 cars long. More gas pumps are wrapped in "caution" tape with plastic bags over the handles. People now realize that any gas station without a line means it must be dry. And while it pales in comparison to the tragedies occuring thoughout the world today, folks are getting themselves into trouble here by waiting until they're almost on absolute empty, then waiting in line with their A/C off to keep from running dry. This sort of thing has caused more than one seizure/medical emergency at our gas stations today.

I'm sure it sounds too hokey to be believed, but someone actually did run out of gas on the road, just two cars ahead of me today. The guy rolled to a stop about 400 yards from a station with a 35+ car queue. Obviously, this picture isn't of that very guy, but such sights are becoming common.

Headline quote from our ridiculous governor: "Be cool."
posted by R.B. at 12:46 PM

 
Phoenix - "Yes, but it's a dry gas tank."

At least there's an upside to our gas shortage here in Arizona:

[Joe Lieberman has had to alter/postpone] his planned "Journey for Joe" road trip through Arizona in a recreational vehicle.

The Democratic U.S. senator from Connecticut was to have embarked Tuesday on a weeklong, 21-city tour of the state in a 40-foot RV his organization was calling a "WinnebaJoe."

I think I heard something on yesterday's top o' the hour national news about our situation here. But it seems that unless you disrupt 50 million people in the epicenter of media, these sort of things don't get too much play. (Somewhere recently I had read about a virtual media blackout of a series of storms causing a multi-week power outage in the southeast. It only affected a little over 1.5 million people. But it was fly-over county, so hey...

Yes... we have a bit of a crisis here in Arizona. There's plenty of gas around. But for various reasons, we just can't get it. Let's start from the beginning. Here in our dry, dusty neck of the woods, we are required by statute to use a special blend of gasoline that must contain varying percentages of "cleaner burning" MTBE. That means that our gas in not only more expensive than in surrounding states, but we can't import gas from them either. (California has labelled MTBE a "carcinogen" so they're phasing it out.) Anyway, it's like being a Macintosh leper (which I am) in a world of PC's. The MTBE itself costs more, and the limited supply of it, and the tight production schedule that such factors force the refineries into al combine to alter the narrow supply/demand curve and hike up our prices. (Conveniently, though, these factors are left out of local reporting, which allows for conveniently alarmist news stories - why are our gas prices consistently among the highest in the nation? war profiteering? collusion? Uh, no - it's called "the market" with a big side order of "over-regulation."

The latest twist on our gasoline woes is that a pipeline from Tucson to Phoenix ruptured back on July 30th. [UPDATE: the rupture wasn't catastrophic and the pipeline wasn't shut down until Aug. 8th] The pipeline could have continued to run at 80% capacity, but it was shut down entirely for testing, repair, and more testing. There was the usual "there will only be a crisis if people panic and horde" announcement. It was reasonable at the time, since only a 30% decrease in our standard delivery was expected for a short time. Well, that has been dragging on and on now...

The pipeline is fixed, but we have to wait for some federal officials from the Office of Pipeline Safety in Washington, D.C. to come out and put some stamp of approval on the fix. Now they are haggling with the pipeline's owners over the details of some further structural integrity testing. Meanwhile, the shortage here is becoming real.

Two days ago, we got word that a special delivery of fuel was being sent up from Tucson via tanker trucks. No need to panic," they told us. Well, okay. No one panicked. But it was getting hard to find gas. Two of the three closest stations near my house were bone dry yesterday morning. Remember the photographs from the 70's energy crisis? That's just what it looked like here.

While our ridiculous governor hot the airwaves again yesterday, promising that if we would just not panic & horde then everything would be okay... well, things just kept getting worse. Those trucks from Tucson? Well for some reason, a lot of them wound up being rerouted. I don't know where to. They just didn't come to the Phoenix area. [Developing...] Other tanker trucks have been delayed because of mandatory rest hours for the drivers. The other piece of the puzzle was that many of the trucks from Tucson to Phoenix made that exact trip. And only that trip. They got to their destination downtown and dropped off their loads at a central distribution point [UPDATE: it's called the "tank farm"]. They weren't scheduled to take the gas to any gas stations. While that's reasonable, the problems mount when you realize that the shortage has caused a back up at this chokepoint. Local trucks have reportedly faced 10 hour waits at the downtown distribution points. There's also been an announcement that there are simply not enough drivers. How does it add up? Well, I doubt I could "show my work" in the margins, but the end product is a real honest-to-Pete gas shortage that's affecting the whole dang valley (and reportedly spreading as far as Flagstaff).

Yesterday, I had let my gas gauge get down tear E and my warning light had been on for two days. It was time to fill up. Every station that was not wrapped with tape, signifying "no gas," had a line of at least a dozen cars waiting while every pump was occupied. Most lines spilled hazardously out onto the streets. I was lucky to find an Albertsons (supermarket) that had a convenience store-style outpost & gas station in its parking lot. To keep lines off the streets, and to maintain a sense of order, the store employees had two managers and a butcher out in the Phoenix sun constantly directing traffic and maintaining a proper queue in the parking lot. After about a 30 minute wait, I was waved in to a pump. Regular unleaded and midgrade were dry. "Gasoline. Premium grade. Hot. Make it so." And I paid $2.39 per gallon. < old man voice > ...and we were thankful < /old man voice >

Unsubstantiated rumors report prices up over $3 per gallon and rationing in some locations.

Folks are now making plans to head out at 3 or 4 AM just to get gas. Not to horde, mind you. Just to get to work. The shortage is beginning to really impact business too. In the used book/zines/games/music megastore (Bookman's, a.k.a. "DreckStar") the clerks commented on how slow store traffic was yesterday. I was even able to find several empty parking spots right by the door. Now that's unusual. (Anecdotal? Yes, but similar stories are playing out all over the metro area.)

Meanwhile, our ridiculous governor just keeps repeating her "everything-will-be-okay" mantra over the airwaves. This on the same day that we learn that it's going to take another 7 to 10 days for the federal honchos to get out and approve the pipeline repair. ,< Archie Bunker voice > Mister, we could use a man like Pete Wilson and his emergency powers... < Archie Bunker voice > (sorry, I just had to tie this in with the recall election issue - that's all anybody's readin' about these days...)

Now we're getting word that even last week's eastern seaboard power failure (oh, I mean "rolling blackout" - for you California voters) is affecting production and pricing. You can guess which directions.

7 - 10 more days? Just so we can get a nice federal smiley-face sticker on our work? Janet (our ridiculous governor), find your spine and take charge.
posted by R.B. at 10:37 AM

 
Wow, what a pathetic day at Infinite Monkeys... Almost the whole day goes by, and then there's just a poor excuse for a teaser post (this one - you'll see). I was busy all day getting ready for parent/student orientation tonight. Classes start Wednesday. Ben is putting the finishing touches on the upcoming edition of the CRB. I have no idea what the other Monkeys are doing [makes "drinky-drinky" sign with thumb & pinky].

I ran into Mr. Polemics tonight. We hadn't seen one another in weeks. He said to me, "I feel like I ought to be calling you 'Hugh Hewitt Jr.'" Well, somebody's obviously been reading my posts...

So, tonight I will offer up a change of pace and talk about a different host on the Salem Radio Network's talk line-up. I got through the call screener and the hold time to get my few seconds of soapbox on today's Dennis Prager show. I'm planning on writing a bit more about it later tonight, or maybe tomorrow. For now I'll leave you with this. Prager said of my contribution, "You're either overly sensitive, or you've brought up a very important issue, my friend."
posted by R.B. at 10:04 PM

 
Apologies - blog talk

Everyone's linking to it. And rightfully so. Mitch Berg's piece on the nature of righty vs. lefty blogs. Money quote:

Right Blogs - Coordinated blogging on Iranian independence day, to draw attention to the anti-theocracy protesters and their suffering, and to support their yearning for freedom.

Left Blogs - Coordinated blogging on behalf of comic [he-who-must-not-be-named], to support his yearning for relevance.

Right Blogs - Gang fact-checking the New York Times, eventually helping to lead to the exposure of a culture of PC and disregard for the truth at the Old Gray Lady.

Left Blogs - "Cyber-mooning" Fox News.

Besides being reminded of my own post on What the Left Will Accept as Canonical, I thought about the divide Mitch points out when I was researching the various blog monitoring/spidering/ranking services tonight. What struck me was noticing that even after the news of his rampant plagiarism broke, The Agonist is still on the scene, still being linked to. I don't get it. I thought the blogosphere was better than that. I'm sadly certain that it's not the litmus test I'd like it to be, but personally, I'd consider whether or not someone's site links to The Agonist as a very telling indication of their character. Am I overstating this? (email - upper left hand corner, please)

Current Song: Chickenheart Doom Mix by James Lileks on the album Bleatophony. Current Drink: Shamrock Farms No-Sugar-Added 1% Chocolate Milk (now with Splenda!).
posted by R.B. at 11:25 PM

 
The Day in Review

I don't know if it's related to today's Sunken-Treasure post, or the Talk-Like-A-Pirate-Day post, or the Elvis-Needs-Boats post, but this story left me laughing like a thirteen year old boy.
posted by R.B. at 10:39 PM

 
R.B.'s mention of Mojo Nixon reminded me:
Elvis Needs Boats.

Yes. Yes he does.
posted by David at 9:50 PM

 
"The most famous singer in the world since King David"

Saturday was the anniversary of the death of Elvis. I wouldn't have noticed unless I had channel surfed across Bono talking on CMT (the Country Music Channel). It was the usual retrospective, this time hosted by Chris Isaak. The guests were surprisingly good, however. No Doubt performed "Suspicious Minds" and Nora Jones gave a felicitous interpretation of "Are You Lonely Tonight?" (The small combo that accompanied her was subtle, yet enchantingly apropos. Do they always play with her?) [UPDATE: I must revise the categorical nature of my statement about the guest performers. They weren't all good. Dave Matthews played and sounded like, well ...Dave Matthews. I couldn't even tell you what song he performed. He played solo, in a room full of adoring DMB fans, knodding their heads and grooving along to Mr. Matthews' patented monotonous funky-warbly schtick. Dave Matthews makes Michael J. Fox look like he has lots of Elvis in him. (When I saw Mojo Nixon live, he replaced M.J. Fox's name with "Rush Limbaugh.") In theory, on paper, I ought to like Matthews. But, as they say, that's why they play the games. Still can't remember what Elvis song he played.] Having been hooked into the program by odd sight of Bono's mug on CMT, I watched, wondering if U2 would be covering a Presley classic. They didn't but the aging Irish bard offered up an abbreviated version of a poem he had written about Elvis instead. My own edit of said poem is included below. The original can be found here in its entirety. As you read, for the cadence in your head, recall the poem with which Bono ended his 1994 induction of Bob Marley into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. (Rastaman. Herbsman. Wildman. A natural, mystic man. Ladies' man. Island man. Family man. Rita's man. Soccer man. Showman. Shaman. Human. Jamaican!)

From the @U2 site: The June, 1995 issue of Q magazine printed an article called "The Record That Changed My Life." Various musicians were asked about said record, and Bono replied with this poem:

ELVIS: AMERICAN DAVID

elvis
son of tupelo
elvis
mama's boy
elvis
was the most famous singer in the world since king david
elvis
wore a cape at the white house when he was presenting nixon with two silver pistols
elvis
dressed black long before he dressed in black
elvis
invented the beatles
elvis
was conscious of myth
elvis
liberation
elvis
the kung fu would come later
elvis
called God every morning then left the phone off the hook
elvis
turned las vegas into a church when he sang "love me tender"
elvis
turned america into a church when he sang "the trilogy"
elvis
white trash
elvis
the memphis flash
elvis
didn't smoke hash and woulda been a sissy without johnny cash
elvis
didn't dodge the draft
elvis
had his own aircraft
elvis
darling bud, flowered, and returned to the mississippi mud
elvis
ain't gonna rot
elvis
in a memphis plot
elvis
didn't hear the shot but the king died just across the lot from
elvis
vanilla ice cream
elvis
girls of 14
elvis
memphis spleen, shooting at the tv, reading corinthians 13
elvis
with God on his knees
elvis
on three tvs
elvis
here come the killer bees, head full of honey, potato chips and cheese
elvis
sang to win
elvis
the battle to be slim
elvis
ate america before america ate him
elvis
stamps
elvis
necromance
elvis
fans
elvis
psychophants
elvis
the public enemy
elvis
don't mean shit to chuck d.
elvis
changed the centre of gravity
elvis
made it slippy [sic]
elvis
hitler
elvis
nixon
elvis
christ
elvis
mishima
elvis
marcus
elvis
jackson
elvis
the pelvis
elvis
the psalmist
elvis
the genius
elvis
the generous
elvis
forgive us
elvis
pray for us
elvis
aaron presley
(1935-1977)

2nd UPDATE: I said that I wouldn't have noticed the anniversary, but I was just confused. I had forgotten about seeing this worthy mention at Power Line (includes the Elvis w/Nixon pic).
posted by R.B. at 3:13 PM

 
Now I'm not going to be suggesting that the book Evolution's Rainbow: Diversity, Gender and Sexuality in Nature and People, by Joan Roughgarden should be added to any reading list at Providence Classical School any time soon. But I would recommned that you read this article about the book. What strikes me as noteworthy is not the soundness of the author's premises or reasoning. Rather, I just want to point it out as an example of someone else questioning the orthodoxy of Darwinian evolution. And someone with the "credentials" of Roughgarden should be able to withstand some of the now commonplace attacks and accusations that spew from the establishment against any "heretic." It will be tough to argue that Roughgarden is motivated by a covert longing to thrust a Biblical creator back to the forefront, through his/her (read the article) challenging of the doctrines of Darwin.

Granted, it's a bizarre read, but the article is not quite as mind-twisting as the one in my last post about "transgendered" persons.
posted by R.B. at 10:35 AM

 
Avast, ye! I been meanin' ta tell ya 'bout International Talk Like a Pirate Day.

(Note: 36 hours between posts from R.B.? Have I told you how much I just love the reliability of my Cox Hi-Speed Internet Service lately? Once upon a time it was so stable that I thought it reasonable to set up my computer, hub, and wireless base in a spot without access to a phone jack. Similarly, I hadn't even bothered to set up the downloadable dial-up software, even on my laptop. Well, that's going to have to change. Oh, and I particularly love the Cox Tech Support phone service. No, I'm not complaining about their phone jockeys. I wouldn't know. I can reliably navigate through the automated phone menus to get myself on hold for the next available tech, listen to a minute or two of "hold music" and then meet with a fast busy signal. It's delightful. It's de-lovely. Well, actually it makes me want to talk like a pirate.)
posted by R.B. at 8:39 AM

 
Sunken treasure.

< /piratevoice >Arrrr!< /piratevoice >
posted by David at 7:43 PM

 
Usually, my daughter spends her time wreaking havoc on her bedroom, the playroom and, well, pretty much the whole house. And the yard. It appears, however, that she has decided that the Casa de RobbL is just not enough territory to destroy, and has aimed her wrath south of the border.
posted by RobbL at 5:47 PM

 
Read in the paper this morning that "Governor" Arnold is now running second in polls to California Lt. Gov. Cruz Bustamente. What--buyer's remourse already California?! Or is it more like a drunk college freshamn who wakes up the next day to find out all the crazy things he did from his roomate ("I did WHAT!!!!?). Yeah, that's it isn't California? One taste of the Arnold and you got a litle crazy. But now you're sober, and you're wondering "how the hell did i get into this mess? And how the hell do I get out?" Poor California. Poor, poor California.
posted by Dr. Monkeystein at 10:46 AM

 
This evening, in the waning moments of the HH program, the show's resident poet, Tarzana Joe, recited an original ode to the blogger. TJ disclaims,

...I am commanded, from time to time, to compose a topical poem on an issue of the day.  This week Rush Limbaugh attacked the blogosphere--which has a special place in Hugh Hewitt's heart (and mind).  Thus the following:

Rush Takes a Swing at the Bloggers (with apologies to Mighty Casey)

In a similar (though far less cultured) vein, I've been thinking that HH's frequent mentioning of "blogs" could be turned into a drinking game that could possibly rival "Bob" [Newhart]. Unfortunately, due the time zone differences, the Northern Alliance and the folks on the east coast would have a decided playing field advantage over us westerners. Many of us are still at work or facing rush hour drives while the mid-westerners and easterners may already be finishing off their second round.

posted by R.B. at 7:54 PM

 
The Devil Knows Latin

This is not a commercial. It's not even really a book review. I just found out about the book The Devil Knows Latin by Christian Kopff a few days ago, and just discovered its publisher, ISI Books, today. He must read fast. Nope. I haven't read the book yet. I've just browsed it. Why is he writing so much about a book he has only skimmed? Well, today wrapped up a week of teacher training at Providence Classical School. Our headmaster has read the book though, and he touched on several of its salient points during our sessions on classical theory and methods. We're not going along with the Kopff's ideas lock, stock, and barrel, but they are to be reckoned with. Still wondering whether you should keep reading this post? Okay, I'll pull out the big gun:

"Christian Kopff is a distinguished teacher and an independent thinker-vital, though rare, qualities these days in classics' eleventh hour. His devotion to his students, to the Hellenic tradition, and to the truth radiates through all that he writes." —Victor Davis Hanson

Now, the title. I'm guessing that it's a reference to James 2:19, in which the author uses a bit of sarcasm to encourage his brethren to move beyond a shallow, uninspiring understanding of the truth -- "You believe that there is one God. You do well. Even the demons believe -- and tremble!" But neither Kopff's book nor this post is limited to the Christian branch of the modern classical education movement. What's so provocative about Kopff is his assertion that education should be comprised of just three elements: Ancient Greek, Latin, and mathematics. Okay, I'm guessing that sent some of you reeling, rubbing your eyes (with squeaking sound effect) like Jon Stewart, going, "Whaaaaa?" [thanks to Robb for the allusion] Yep, just those three subjects. What about literature? Well, what do you think gets read in Ancient Greek and Latin? What about science? See previous answer. Think about how many original treatises on the sciences were written in Greek. Even into the 16th Century, Latin was the language in which works like Copernicus' De Revolutionibus Orbium Celestium was written and published. The same is true of Isaac Newton's Principia and others. What about history? Ever hear of Herodotus? Thucydides? Livy? Xenophon? Plutarch? Drama, you ask? Well, those Greeks wrote a few dramas... and tragedies, comedies, and poetry, and... you get the idea.

What we're getting at here are primary sources. They constitute one of the most prominent features of classical education. Not wired schools. Not "smart classrooms." In the near future, I hope to get a chance to publish the Table of Contents page from the reading packet that's been assembled for PCS 10th grade American History class on the school's website. The same is true for the Political Philosophy class. When I do, I'll be sure to announce it here.

Now, to be sure, Kopff and we at Providence acknowledge that the early years of school need to be spent learning phonics and the grammar of various subjects. Junior High students need to study traditional (and maybe formal) Logic (which technically could be studied in the original languages too). We at PCS place a high value on the study of formal Rhetoric for our high schoolers. We're nowhere near ready for it, but in theory, we could use the untranslated version of Aristotle's foundational Rhetorica. Providence is really much more in the normal tradition of the modern classical Christian movement than the model posed by Kopff, but it's nice to see a book take a position from which great leverage may be gained against those who would pull for "progressive" education.

Okay, I'm turning the non-commercial for the book into a pseudo-commercial for my school. We certainly could use the benefactors, but that's not the point of this post. I really wanted to share my excitement not just over The Devil Knows Latin, but also about its publisher. ISI Books has a great feature that you should check out. Many of their books' first chapters are available to read online. I hope this practice only increases in popularity. ISI also has these Indispensable Guides to the Major Disciplines.

Lastly, I would be remiss not to point out one last ISI Books product by Victor Davis Hanson, John Heath, and Bruce S. Thornto: BONFIRE OF THE HUMANITIES: Rescuing the Classics in an Impoverished Age. Check out what folks are saying about it. Check out the other titles at ISI. And, please, look into classical education and see if you are not moved to support a return to methods and priorities similar to the schooling of John Adams and Thomas Jefferson.

UPDATE: King over at SCSU Scholars points out that the folks at ISI have a lot more to offer than books.
posted by R.B. at 6:46 PM

 
Can't Blog, Eating

I haven't been able to post much in the last couple of days. We're a bit behind schedule with the new issue of the Claremont Review of Books. To be honest, all this editing is making me hungry.

Current song: None. Current drink: Iced tea, but I really wish I had a nice chianti.
posted by Ben at 3:35 PM

 
Again, it wouldn't be Infinite Monkeys if R.B. wasn't linking to Hugh Hewitt's blog. But really, his 6:30 AM post today is a must read for anyone who wants to be considered reasonably open-minded and informed. You don't have to agree. Just take the time to give some regard to the temperate beliefs of a substantial population (including our Founders).

UPDATE: PowerLine's Hindrocket also thoughtfully addresses Kristof's article.
posted by R.B. at 10:27 AM

 
Every once in a while there's something on Atrios / Eschaton worth linking to. [oh, and as for my my comment yesterday about the site being opposed to capitalization - I must have been thinking of another lefty blog, somehow related to Eschaton - jog your memory? email us - upper left hand corner]
posted by R.B. at 10:05 AM

 
Wow, you'd think the blackout had hit the southwest judging from this lack of posts... (BTW, did anybody else notice how Bush went out of his was to call it a "rolling" blackout? I'm guessing that one's for you, "Bullet Bob" - at least indirectly.)

Anyway, I'd seen the awfully funny link in Mitch Berg's Firefight Etiquette post, but now it has a value added lead in.

UPDATE: Hadn't noticed until now that the same topic was addressed over at Fraters Libertas. Oddly, The Elder is waxing nostalgic over Randolph Mantooth. Well, he weren't no Kent McCord there, friend.
posted by R.B. at 9:05 AM

 
Since I'm James Taranto's official biographer, I realize I've been negligent in not posting the link to his site.
posted by David at 9:50 PM

 
I can't wait to get Mark Steyn's reaction to the Canadian government's inept handling of the Great Blackout of Aught-Three.
posted by David at 9:47 PM

 
"Anonymous-John" or "What the Left Will Accept as Canonical"

I got two lessons in liberal thinking in today. This afternoon, some guy named John called in to Hugh Hewitt's nationally syndicated show and, between the name calling, tried to assert that Schwarzenegger had been seen regularly engaging in seriously felonious activities on one of his movie sets. After John's first call, there was studious discussion bewtween HH and guest Sacramento Bee Columnist, Daniel Weintraub, who runs the new, yet indispensable blog California Insider about what legally constituted slander and how John was probably not guilty of it since he seemed to really believe his own fulminating.

For some reason, John seemed to interpret the discussion as a threat, so he called back in. Beyond laughingly (and quite rudely) dismissing Weintraub's standing as a journalist, old John kept eroding his own credibility with every word he spoke. Could he substantiate the accusations against AS? Not personally. He "heard it" from two "technical" people on the movie set. Names of the two people? Don't know. What movie? Can't say. What job did these people perform on the set of this movie? Can't say. Did they alert the police? No. Did you or would you alert the authorities? (This was noteworthy.) "Uh, no... I don't think I have enough information to take to law enforcement..." And yet John seems to feel justified airing this rumor (could there be a more fitting term? well, besides slander) within the hearing of hundreds of thousands of national listeners. Nice form there, John...

The other lesson in liberal thinking? Well, I got an email (on a group list) from a lefty friend of mine this morning. What caught my attention among the usual "war wasn't justified / it's a quagmire / there never were any WMD / etc." was a reference to the "weather balloon trucks." Huh? It took me a while to figure out the reference. Upon further reading, the context revealed that my friend was referring to those Iraqi truck-mounted mobile bio-weapons labs. It was as though he expected me to know what he was talking about without any explanation. Oh, yeah - the weather balloon trucks, yes.

Also contained in his email was his answer to a question I had posed: "[regarding Instapundit... is Reynolds too mainstream to be trusted [by you]?)" Friend's answer:

From what I gather, based on select quotes posted on other blogs, Instapundit seems to be an establishment prop, rather than a mainstream, impartial journalist. I could be wrong though.

I'm as likely to start reading that site as much as you are likely to start reading Atrios [Say, I thought they were opposed to capitalization - R.B.] on a regular basis.

Now I thought that was kinda funny (besides the part about "mainstream" journalists being "impartial") since Ben had recently turned us back on to atrios' eschaton blog. But I hadn't seen anything there about weather balloon trucks. Had I? I went back to search.

I found two articles. The first had mentions of some doubts as to the exact nature of the trucks and their use. But that piece included these two noteworthy quotes that seemed to bounce off the atrios crowd without effect:

First article

[An] Iraqi source identified the correct trucks as the mobile biological weapons laboratories that he had described to U.S. intelligence.

Intelligence provided by that man was cited by Secretary of State Colin Powell in his presentation of the U.S. case to the United Nations before the invasion of Iraq.

"The guy who designed it identified it" for the CIA, the official said.

"They are designed to look like something else," he said, so Iraq could deny their function as biological weapons laboratories if they had been uncovered by U.N. inspectors. He said they were built on truck beds so they could be moved from locations likely to be inspected by the United Nations.

Kay said he was aware of a number of theories that the vehicles might have had other uses, "none of which make any logical sense."

Kay saw one of the vehicles on a recent trip to Iraq and received reports on the second.

Kay said most of the alternative uses that have been suggested "didn't pass the laugh test."

"The silliest one," Kay said, was the suggestion that they had been designed to generate hydrogen for meteorological balloons.

Second article

"The team has decided that in their minds, there could be another use, for inefficient hydrogen production, most likely for balloons," a Defense Department official said.

...Since the white paper [declaring the trucks' equipment to be weapons labs] was made public in May, new information suggesting that the trailers might have been used for making hydrogen has come from Iraqi officials interrogated by American military officers in Iraq, a military officer said today. Those Iraqi officials have repeated the claims of Iraqi scientists that the trailers were used to fill weather balloons, said the officer, who spoke on the condition of anonymity.

Another government official from a different agency said the issue of the trailers had prompted deep divisions within the Defense Intelligence Agency.

...a senior official who examined the evidence in detail and concluded that the trailers were used for biological weapons said, "The experts who have crawled over this again and again can come up with no other plausible legitimate use."

That official said the agencies had rejected the theory put forward by Iraqi scientists who said one of the units was used to produce hydrogen.

Today, a Defense Department official said of Iraq, "There is not doubt in our minds that they had mobile biological weapons trailers." But the official said there was disagreement within the Defense Intelligence Agency about whether those found so far were used to produce biological weapons or hydrogen.

Now obviously, I've had to edit the clips a bit for brevity, but they're linked. Read 'em for yourself. No really, read 'em. See if you come away convinced that this equipment should be definitively referred to as "weather balloon trucks."

I'd like to be able to point you toward something you could read to check out Anonymous-John's claims about Arnold's alleged diablerie. At the beginning of his call-back, John indicated a willingness to give his personal info the the screener so AS could bring a suit against him for the rumors. By the end of that second call, poor John wouldn't leave a jot or tittle of info with the screener off the air so Weintraub could contact him or others for leads with which to open a journalistic investigation.

Now calls like John's may not be joyful to listen to, but they are good political radio. As with HH's interview with "Bullet-Bob" Mulholland yesterday, these calls are more illustrative of the intellectual bankruptcy of the left than any host's monologue could ever be.

And I find it odd how my lefty friends have such high expectations of the right to document and justify their positions while they themselves have such low standards for what they seem to consider "actionable intel." It must be convenient to have such a flexible definition of truth.
posted by R.B. at 6:25 PM

 
So, Newt Gingrich thinks Arnold Schwarzenegger is more conservative than Gray Davis and Cruz Bustamante. Obviously! I think FDR was probably more conservative than Davis and Bustamante. And you know what? I'm afraid Gingrich would agree.
posted by Ben at 4:47 PM

 
If you've been reading InfMonks today (and following the links), then you must already be aware of our unofficial word of the day.
posted by R.B. at 3:26 PM

 
Sting Cracks Missile Plot

Philip Michaels has the story that wasn't.
posted by Ben at 3:02 PM

 
Panic on the Streets of New York, Detroit, Ottawa...?

Not quite panic. But fellow Monkey James just called to report a major power outage on the east coast. Airports and subways are shut down. Most of New York City is without power right now, as is Detroit, Philly, and Ontario, Canada. All I could find was this newsflash on the wires. Terrorism? Too early to say. Probably not. I remember something like this happened in California a few years ago (and before that in 1996), when a power plant in the northwest (Washington State or B.C.) went down suddenly.

Update: Looks like the source of this trouble is a power plant in New York. I just spoke to my father, who spent 41 years working for the Los Angeles Dept. of Water and Power. Outages like this sometimes happen, he said, because everything is interconnected. Well, what he said was, "hypothetically, you've got all these lines, say, three lines interconnected. If a major line goes down, the load shifts to the others. If those are already fully loaded, then you get a cascading effect." He says the west coast grid is better equipped to handle these kind of things. His guess is that the power systems on the east coast are older than ours.

Update 2: Biggest outage since 1977. Mayor Bloomberg says all is well, service will be restored shortly. FBI is keeping its powder dry. Feds say the outage is not terror-related. Rumors, though, that the "worm-virus" may have a role. Check out the slideshow images of people filling the streets of Manhattan. It's the mother of all traffic jams. Now that's terrifying.

Update 3: Monkey Brad adds: "My first thought was that the Northern Alliance of Blogs might be down.
I equate Minnesota with the north east, though it's probably just 'north.' Of the NA, SCSU has a 4:00 PM post, as does Mitch Berg, so we can assume they are not 'Sitting in the Dark.' Personally, I blame the guys at PowerLine."
posted by Ben at 1:48 PM

 
One of the problems the press has with Arnold Schwarzenegger is that it can't pin him down on any particular policy question. He has no paper trail, you see. But journalists, when they aren't drinking (and sometimes when they are), are nothing if not clever. Thumbs up to the guy at the San Francisco Chronicle who makes a serious effort at divining Gov. Schwarzenegger's stance on women's issues from his films.

Choice sample:

Of all the seeming contradictions about Arnold Schwarzenegger, now a candidate for California governor, none stands out more than his views on women and family.

In the movie "Total Recall," Schwarzenegger puts a bullet through the head of his on-screen wife, who is trying to kill him as well, and says without remorse: "Consider that a divorce."

And that's just the first two paragraphs!
posted by Ben at 12:00 PM

 
Attention Corporate Lawyers!

The Authors Guild is compiling a helpful list of other titles your clients might consider suing for infringement of some kind or another.

(Authors Guild link via John Derbyshire at The Corner. Derb comments on Drudge's story that the execrable Bill O'Reilly lobbied Fox execs to sue the execrable Franken. How fitting.)

Current song: "In It For the Money" by Supergrass on the album "In It For the Money." Current drink: Lukewarm coffee.
posted by Ben at 10:38 AM

 
Main Entry: chuffed
Pronunciation: 'ch&ft
Function: adjective
Etymology: English dialect chuff pleased, puffed with fat
Date: 1957
British : PROUD, SATISFIED

Found through my favorite online dictionary service OneLook.com, who I like because they search more than two dozen different quality online dictionaries, and provide easily navigated results. I usually click through to Merriam-Webster's (dependable definitions and credible etymologies), but it's nice to have the other entries readily available. I really encourage you to check out and use OneLook. They provide results from such diverse resources as:

Webster's Revised Unabridged, 1913 Edition
Rhymezone
Webster's 1828 Dictionary
Dictionary of Phrase and Fable
The On-line Medical Dictionary
Acronym Finder

The very British:

Sandahl, Middle English Sea Terms

and the very InfMonk flavored:

Wine Glossary
and, Wine Taster's Glossary

posted by R.B. at 8:54 AM

 
The article R.B. linked to below included the wonderful British slang word "chuffed," which set me off looking for its orgins (answer: unknown, 17th Century). It also led me to this great dictionary, which I'm quite chuffed to have found.

Now I'm off to get some kip.
posted by David at 3:20 AM

 
It sounds like Scrappleface but it's just the BBC. Man aiming for new motorized land speed record for a blind person. UPDATE: He did it.
posted by R.B. at 9:36 PM

 
The man most responsible for destroying GOP domination of California was Pete Wilson. And now Arnold Schwarzenegger is making him "the political face" of his campaign.

Time for another look at McClintock...
posted by David at 8:15 PM

 
TV update:

Tonight A&E's Biography is on Arnold Schwarzenegger. I doubt they'll include information on Arnold's brushes with prominent Austrian economists as co-Monkey David did, but at least it's not Trading Spaces, right?

UPDATE: No Austrian economist summits, though there was a total of, oh... one sentence on his degree in Econ & Business from the University of Wisconsin. Not a terrible show, but there was one bit that could be considered a smear. They mentioned Planet Hollywood.
posted by R.B. at 7:39 PM

 
HH radio call continued: Trading Spaces show scoop:

For those of you who didn't hear the on-air explanation, I must get out this disclaimer: My wife is the uberfan of the show. Yeah, (it's kind of like a flip-flop of of the old Irish Spring commercial) "but I like it too."

Yep, the last caller (to Hugh Hewitt's segment on why folks watch the show) was right about the budget - the $1,000 is really just for materials. It splits from reality right off the bat, not only because there are no labor charges to cover, but also because the designers get unmatchable in-the-biz deals, and oftentimes manufacturers (and even service companies) slash the "prices" of their wares in order to get them featured on the show. [Example: the interlocking carpet squares Vern used to do that whole room - for just a fraction of the $1,000 budget? C'mon...]

My own shortcomings in the handyman department were justified (and my wife's faith in the show was tarnished) when I did some deep digging on the web and turned up insider dish from former participants:

I really didn't want to believe it either at first, but it's true...

The homeowners don't really do all the work - the whole crew helps out when the cameras aren't rolling...

There are really two carpenters on each episode - you just never see the guy who builds most of the armoires...

There is a chain-smoking techno fan who does the majority of the sewing but never gets any mention or air time...

The designers don't really have to reimburse their own budget overages...

But let me defend my answer to HH's question. People watch the show because of the strong, engaging characters (love 'em or hate 'em) of the designers. They watch because of the conflict that comes in varying degrees on each and every show. In fact, the producers have made it clear that they aim for one disappointing/maddening overall result out of every ten "reveals." (Remember the lady who left the room sobbing and cursing, unaware that her lapel mic was still on?) And let's not forget the excellent editing. Some talented soul manages to take hours and hours' worth of tape and rip it down into 44 minutes of (admit it) captivating television. (I've seen Trading Spaces hypnotize an extended family's worth of football fans on a holiday marathon. I also know one woman who limits her own viewing of the show purely because she gets too worked up and angry at the participants. Hugh claims he woke up from a nap and found an episode of Trading Spaces already in progress, but it seems clear that he did wind up watching all the way to the end.)

If these are not the distinguishing hallmarks of the show, then why does its viewership dwarf that of similar shows like While You Were Out, Monster House, Weekend Warriors, Design On A Dime, and (well, if I name any more... some might begin to question a few things about me). Hugh is wrong. It's not just about watching the bad taste of others. Heck, you can see that anywhere. It's more like the NASCAR of design. Folks are watching for the excitement and the thrill of anticipating the crash.

[In the interest of time, I'm posting without digging up the original sources again. They took hours to find originally. If this generates much controversy, I'll see what I can do.]
posted by R.B. at 3:56 PM

 
Jesse Jackson is involved in the California recall, my God Ben-- all of my prophecies have come true. do you know what this means? California is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions. Real wrath-of-God type stuff. Fire and brimstone coming down from the sky! Rivers and seas boiling! Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes! volcanoes! The dead rising from the graves! Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria!!!! Ben get out! Get out while you can!!!! And don't look back-- or you'll turn into a pillar of salt.

posted by Dr. Monkeystein at 2:54 PM

 
The Digital Demagogue

James: It's complete.
posted by Ben at 1:55 PM

 
You just knew it was bound to happen didn't you? Now, Clinton is stickin' his nose into the whole California thing. Now, this thing is gonna turn into blood vendetta. Sounds like fun. All we need now is Hillary Clinton mouthin' off about the "politics of personal destruction," and all will be complete. That and like a Dick Morris sighting. That and like say James Carville unleashing his verbal dogs of war. And then all will be complete.

No wait, Martin Sheen would have to somehow get arrested for protesting something. Then all would be complete. No... no... Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon would have to make big speech on the steps of the state capitol for things to be complete. And it wouldn't hurt if Jesse Jackson got involved. Yeah... if Jesse jackson got involved, all would be complete.
posted by Dr. Monkeystein at 12:46 PM

 
Since we don't have a blogroll yet (coming soon, folks - if you believe co-Monkey David), I'll have to post a link in order to point out that the guys at PowerLine are really on a roll today. Oh, and I should note that waterpolo is a truly vicious sport. Honestly. You wouldn't believe some of what goes on under the water. (What is he talking about? Well, the whole blog thing doesn't work so well if'n ya don't follow da links, silly.)
posted by R.B. at 12:45 PM

 
St. Paul over at Fraters Libertas is making some good points. But apparently he missed this Monkey's revision to the V.R.W.C. stylesheet concerning the current holder of the "he-who-must-not-be-named" title.
posted by R.B. at 12:32 PM

 
Last weekend I was up north at my in-laws' place in the woods. What struck me about the drive through all of the little towns near Show Low and Pinetop was the ubiquity of the mom & pop shop signs and the handmade placards supporting active forest management. Here and there along the highway the charred remains of the last year's fires (plural) could be seen, in some places right up to the road, and in other places right into the fringes of the towns - little places whose names are only known to us city folk as the newscast subjects of the emergency evacuations. Demand for an end to the decades of irresponsible hands-off woodlands policies was coalescing. Boosters in one of these little havens bought space on a billboard which read:

Thanks
environMENTALists
for making this year's fire season
ALL IT COULD BE!

[emphasis in original] I was reminded of this when last night's Daily Show (the only television news I go out of my way to catch these days) reported on President Bush's visit here in Arizona today. He was promoting the long overdue Healthy Forests Initiative.

Perhaps his visit and the appointment of a grown up as head of the EPA will light a match under Arizona's ridiculous governor (due process? we don't need no stinking due process) who has let six state forest management bills sit on her desk collecting dust.
posted by R.B. at 7:49 AM

 
Most days I'd never say, "Hey you gotta go read the Bleat today," and link to it. That would be superfluous. Of course, if you're reading the InfMonks (which you are, right here, right now), then you obviously possess the taste and good judgment to read Lileks regularly. But today's offering ought to seem particularly near and dear. Topics include restaurant food, confirmation of squareness, beer, the Bible, the Constitution, vodka, vodka bottles, cheap vodka, preferred vodka, and, of course, music and iTunes. I mean, with Lileks being so Monkey flavored, why even bother to read Infinite Mo... Wait. As Willie Wonka says, "Strike that. Reverse it."
posted by R.B. at 7:47 AM

 
From Night V. The Relapse

Let Indians, and the gay, like Indians, fond
Of feather'd fopperies, the sun adore:
Darkness has more divinity for me;
It strikes thought inward; it drives back the soul
To settle on herself, our point supreme!
There lies our theatre! there sits our judge.
Darkness the curtain drops o'er life's dull scene;
'Tis the kind of hand of Providence stretcht out
'Twixt man and vanity; 'tis reason's reign,
And virtue's too; these tutelary shades
Are man's asylum from the tainted throng.
Night is the good man's friend, and guardian too
It no less rescues virtue, than inspires.

"Night Thoughts" (1742),
by Edward Young
posted by Ben at 10:36 PM

 
Veni, vidi, videspread?

Well, little private Providence Classical School may only be starting our second year here in the Phoenix metro area, so it's hard for me to keep a straight face while claiming credit for driving the state educational establishment toward quality changes. PCS may still be under the radar, but a return to what's been proven to work is long overdue in most schools.
posted by R.B. at 5:32 PM

 
Props to DoC / *sigh* for Salon

Though he doesn't have a specific piece about it (that I can find) up on his site, our friend Deuce was oh, I don't know... 9 years ahead of Salon.com on this one. Sheesh.

UPDATE: This post originally appeared with the wrong online "magazine" as the subject of my ire. Sorry about that. (My contempt for Slate.com was showing through there, wasn't it?)

2nd UPDATE: co-Monkey Robb comes through with the link, though it still isn't one that mentions that Herb Alpert/Public Enemy mix (with brilliant packaging) that Deuce has a spiffy original copy of.
posted by R.B. at 4:34 PM

 
Sweet, beautiful central government

As y'all know, I have strong leanings in the Libertarian/States-Rights/Just-Leave-Me-Alone direction politically, but I have to admit, when I read this article, I thought to myself, "Living in a police state ain't so bad after all."
posted by RobbL at 1:11 PM

 
WARNING: crudity (but not exactly what you might expect from Monkeys)

While it may not be entirely appropriate (well, for anything, but specifically) for something like a Democratic Presidential candidate's guest-blogging, my next thought when BoingBoing Blog pointed out this handy dandy accessory was that it could be used to properly file such printable material as Michael Moore's writing.
posted by R.B. at 1:08 PM

 
Arnold on the Issues (First of an Occasional Series)

"Family leave? Let me tell you about family leave. Many families are leaving California because of the failed policies of Gray Davis. Businesses are leaving, too. I think the people know they need new leadership in Sacramento to bring the businesses back, so the families won't leave, so we can have the tax revenues for the programs to take care of the people. That's why I am going to clean house!"

Current song: "First Song" by Andrew Bird on the album "Weather Systems." Current drink: None.
posted by Ben at 10:59 AM

 
Blame Fox, Brad. Blame Fox.
posted by Ben at 10:41 AM

 
Personally, I'm getting sick of the "free publicity through orchestrated controversy" thing. While it's sure to be inadequate, I'd still like to propose a counter-tactic. Readers of the Harry Potter books are already familiar with the moniker "he-who-must-not-be-named." While there is no single nemesis deserving of permanent assignment of the title, I would like to suggest an assignment of the label, on something like a rotational basis. (Perhaps someone like Instapundit could serve as a clearinghouse for less-than-promotional hints as to who the flavor of the week is.)

That being said, I would like to nominate AF to be the first to carry the mantle. (AF? Yeah, you know him. Lileks recently tried to explain this character's career by noting that someone somewhere seems to remember that he wrote something funny about 28 years ago.)
posted by R.B. at 8:55 AM

 
Oh, come on Fox. I thought you were cool. You're not cool at all. You're square!
posted by Ben at 12:05 AM

 
WARNING - Audience-killing post about blogging, by a blogger, for a non-blogger. (Skip it and scroll on down if you know what's good for you.)

Recently, Robb forwarded us an email from a friend of ours who was new to the idea of blogs and trying to get a handle on it by reading Infinite Monkeys. First, our friend asks:

"I was confused about why you were blogging so often at like 2 AM."

It may sound rather Zen, but the answer is: I'm blogging at 2 AM... because I'm blogging. [UPDATE: My wife read that answer and mumbled something about me being "addicted." Of course I have no idea what she's talking about...] The longer answer includes something about the fact that people are actually reading what we write, now that we're being linked to. So, in an effort to "set the hook" in these nibbling potential readers, a little extra time and effort is due in crafting quality posts (hey, no laughing!) now, in order to ensure that our opinions will be widely disseminated in the future. Second, our friend wrote:

"...here's the [main] question: Why blog?"

For me, beyond sharpening my thinking and writing skills (I said no laughing!), it's all about impacting and influencing the opinion cycle. Well, that and the fact that I'm an attention-whore. But read what Jeff Jarvis (of the blog BuzzMachine, and creator of the magazine Entertainment Weekly) recently wrote:

Just yesterday, I had a pleasant lunch with a magazine editor who could not be talked into doing a story on weblogs. A few newpaper-editor friends of mine make fun of me for blogging and poo-poo the phenom.

At your peril, folks, at your peril.

The truth is that weblogs are an influence to be reckoned with.

No, Instapundit and even weblogs as a whole do not reach a huge percentage of the population... yet. But the next time you hear someone say that answer with this: Weblogs do reach just as big an audience as most magazines and most newspapers.

And they reach a powerful audience; why else are presidential candidates rushing to blog themselves?

...Media is going to go through big changes because the audience is gaining control over their content; there is far more competition for our time; ad revenue to any single entity is decreasing across all media; costs must thus be reduced. Weblogs are part of that story. Instapundit is part of that story. And the audience is the star of that story for that's the real revolution here: The audience is creating content, too, and that affects the value of the content the big boys produce. The audience and its content have value, too.

I've discovered firsthand that my blogging can have a tiny bit o' influence on something like a nationally syndicated radio show, which reaches hundreds of thousands of listeners. So really, my addiction, er... uh, worthwhile hobby has some externally measurable effect. Did I mention that I really enjoy it? But, of course I could stop anytime I wanted to. It's not like I need it. Yeah. Sure, I could stop. Anytime. Ummm... (I'd better go do something useful around the house.)
posted by R.B. at 4:45 PM

 
Give 'im the High Hat!

I'm not the first to remark on the resemblance between California's Lt. Gov. Cruz Bustamante and character actor Jon Polito. Polito is very good in just about everything he does, but he was unforgettable as Johnny Caspar in the Coen Brothers' "Miller's Crossing".

All of the maneuvering before the filing deadline last week reminded me of Polito's opening monologue in that movie, when he's trying to explain to Albert Finney why John Turturro needs to be killed. "It's gettin' so a businessman can't expect no return from a fixed fight. Now, if you can't trust a fix, what can you trust? For a good return, you gotta go bettin' on chance - and then you're back with anarchy, right back in the jungle." No great point here. Just an association I made. Don't ask me why.

posted by Ben at 4:45 PM

 
I'm black and I'm conservative, and I live in New York City. I know what you're thinking: "A black conservative in New York City???? That's a myth! Like bigfoot, or unicorns, or the Loch Ness Monster!" No, my friend, I exist. The legends are true.

You know what my favorite past time is? Telling white people why I'm against affirmative action. Man, I have so much fun doing that. I'll be like: "Man, affirmative action is intellectually insulting!" Or I'll say something like: "you can say whatever you want about the white man. But there's one I thing I know, the white man never stopped a black kid from din' his homework!" Stuff like that, you know. And it's funny, because the more I talk to them about, they get a crazy look in their eyes. This look that says "He's making sense man-- HE'S FREAKIN' MAKIN' SENSE!!!!"

God, I'm evil.
posted by Dr. Monkeystein at 1:26 PM

 
Recall Strategery

I'm pessimistically optimistic about the recall today. On the one hand, I'm very pleased that Dianne Feinstein's decision to stay out of the race has made me one dollar richer. But just because Gray is down, I don't assume he's out. It's early yet. The Democrats may be scrambling, but they have certain advantages in California. Arnie Steinberg offers a sobering, contrarian take on the Schwarzeneggar's widely reported early lead: "This [CNN-Time] poll is not good news for Schwarzenegger, because it puts him on too high a pedestal." The telltale flaw:

It did not even list the political party of each candidate. Thus, Democrats did not know, for example, that Schwarzenegger is a Republican, or [Cruz] Bustamante is a Democrat. Does that partly explain how Bustamante gets 15 percent of the vote in a state where Democrats comprise 45 percent of voters?

Maybe. Probably. Or maybe Cruz is getting the blunt edge of the Davis backlash. If the plan is to defeat the recall, then somebody will need to make the case for Davis. Davis will try to do that, of course. But his efforts are undermined by his lieutenant governor. Similarly, Bustamante is hobbled by his inability to distinguish himself from the incompetent, corrupt, three-card-monte fraud sitting in the governor's office.

I hear Bustamante hopes to appeal to voters by promising to repeal the car tax and tax rich people. Well, yes! Of course! But the Democrats will have to resolve the inconsistency of the message soon. Oppose the recall, but vote for Cruz? Why? If you're against the recall, why not simply vote "no" and go home? Even Sen. Feinstein criticized the incoherence of it all. "It's somewhat difficult to go out there and say, 'Vote no on the recall, but in case you don't, vote for me,'" Feinstein said on "Meet the Press" yesterday. "That's a bit of a hypocrisy as far as I'm concerned."

Remember: a couple of weeks ago, the Democrats were behind Davis "100 percent". Bullet Bob Mullholland promised Hugh Hewitt on the air that no Democrat would appear on the second part of the recall ballot. Everyone knew that was a lie. How long before Bustamante abandons the hypocrisy of his campaign? Keep watching those polls.
posted by Ben at 12:14 PM

 
The Yosemite Sam of the Dems comes out a'blastin'

Do you think Bob Mulholland is really so clever as to be using this tactic just to stir up controversy (for the free publicity), with the ultimate aim of reminding centrist Republican voters in California: Oh yeah... that Schwarzenegger really is one them Kennedies. Naw, I don't really give Bob that much credit either. But somehow or another, he seems to have stumbled into it.
posted by R.B. at 8:04 AM

 
Lileks as Precog or Paul Lynde

Recently, Hugh Hewitt posed the following long overdue question:

When do you suppose it will strike some producer at Fox or MSNBC that they ought to launch "Blogweek," hosted by James [Lileks], Glenn [Reynolds], and Virginia [Postrel] and featuring three minute segments with 10 different bloggers talking about their blogs? Instantly a cable show would have an audience with the complete attention of the web and the opinion class.

Suggestions for the opening theme music?  Set design?

My set design ideas:

Idea One: It's totally corny/geeky but that's the direction I imagine the tv people would push it. Remember the gigantic wall of pods in the "real world" that Neo wakes up into in The Matrix? (I'm sure it had a specific name. Lileks would know.) Anyway, each blogger would be "plugged in" in his or her own pod on a big wall, like an H.R. Geiger version of Hollywood Squares.

Idea Two: A take off on Minority Report - its Precog Chamber and milky bath/pool that the Precogs lounge in while their thoughts are networked to imaging screens overhead. This one fits the model of the two males and the one female comprising the triumvirate of Hewitt's "Blogweek" pitch.

Just for overkill, here are two clips from the Minority Report script. The first reads like the opening sequence of the proposed James/Glenn/Virginia show. Picture, if you will, their faces in the following:

"MINORITY REPORT" -- Aug 15th 1997 rewrite by Jon Cohen [with slight Infinite Monkeys adaptation]

-DARKNESS-

And then, slowly emerging from the mists of darkness, a pale, beautifully proportioned FACE.

The oval face is female, a woman of indeterminate age, her features as fragile as porcelain. Her eyes are closed in sleep, or in death ... or in something in between.

Now TWO MORE FACES emerge out of the darkness. They are male, and they float into position on either side of the female. They are just as ethereally beautiful, just as pale, and like the female their eyes are closed.

The ghostly lips of the female begin to twitch. Her features, which have been expressionless, suddenly contort, mask-like, into the face of a woman in fear. Her eyes open.

The male face on her right contorts too. His features warp into an angry snarl -- the mask of a man enraged. His eyes open.

The male face on her left takes on the expression of a young boy, a boy who is terribly frightened. His eyes open wide.

As if they are lost in the same terrible waking dream, a sudden and unnerving exchange begins ...

Second clip (note the last 2 lines):

The head of each [blogger] is encased in a complex, ornate HELMET that seems to be an amalgam of organic tissues and bright metallics. The helmets pulse slightly, and the surfaces seem to flow and shift, like oil on water.

A network of micro-thin cables that are actually strands of light, rise Medusa-like from each helmet, then centralize into a single strand, and connect to a massive mainframe computer.

The [bloggers] appear to be in suspended animation, or in comas. They are absolutely still and limp -- except for their faces. Their faces are in constant motion, the lips mouthing scenes from [comments] only they can see. Life for a [blogger] is an endless cycle of [news & opinion].

...Not once are their helmets removed. What they feed into the mainframe is too valuable. It must be gathered twenty-four unrelenting hours a day.

I'm tempted to take a shot at "photoshopping" a picture of James/Glenn/Virginia's faces emerging from the milky Precogs' liquid, but I just don't think I've got the skills to do it justice. Anyone willing to take that and run with it? (If so, please, keep us updated - email address in upper left corner.)
posted by R.B. at 12:28 AM

 
So bourbon doesn't have to be made in Kentucky? What's next? California champagne?
posted by Ben at 12:01 AM

 
There is, of course, little or no resemblance between Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jesse Ventura. Nevertheless, the former governor of Minnesota and Arnold's "Running Man" co-star has a few words of advice for the next governor of the Great State of California.
posted by Ben at 11:47 PM

 
I'm afraid only "Kentucky Bourbon" has to come from Kentucky. According to the Malt Advocate, anyone can make Bourbon if they are willing to live up to the strict legal requirements:

According to the feds, "straight whiskey" must be made from a mash of grain, distilled at no higher than 80% alcohol, and aged in new charred oak barrels for a minimum of two years. It must be at least 40% alcohol when it is bottled. To earn the name "bourbon" the whiskey must be made from a mash of at least 51% corn and meet the requirements for straight whiskey.

Tennessee Whiskey is legally the same as bourbon, except it must be made in Tennessee. Bourbon, contrary to popular belief, does not have to be made in Kentucky unless the producer wants to say Kentucky straight bourbon whiskey on the label.

Someone should do a doctoral dissertation on why alcohol has so many rules around specific definitions. I'm telling you, if you defend your thesis with a gin tasting, you'll be home free...
posted by David at 11:43 PM

 
Bad enough to lose so much good bourbon--and by an Act of God, no less! Even worse to get nicked for violating environmental regs. And, to add insult to injury, this AP story repeats the same error about how much bourbon is made in Kentucky. Somewhere, Jack Daniels is laughing.
posted by Ben at 11:27 PM

 
"You don't have to be anti-abortion or unenthusiastic about gay marriage to question the hardness of Arnold's ass." Yes! My point exactly! (Well, in so many words.)

Current song: The Sound of Silence by My House. Current drink: Plymouth martini.
posted by Ben at 11:11 PM

 
Back to back posts at PowerLine (one last night, one this morning) touched on how the ACLU is doing its best to protect you and me from the Boy Scouts. Somehow, "Hindrocket" and "Big Trunk" manage to treat the case specifics with the seriousness they deserve. But me? I can't get past the absurdity of the subject itself. I mean, it's painfully obvious to me that our country stands to suffer far more by the ACLU's wacked priorities than from most of what they're crusading against these days.

Anyway, upon reading Powerline, I couldn't help but think of an email exchange that took place between us Monkeys last week. I asked if anyone else had seen David Cross (of "Mr. Show" fame) get verbally smacked down by the rest of the guest panel on the Monday, Aug. 4th episode of Tough Crowd w/ Colin Quinn. I couldn't remember the name of the bald guy who seemed to hold his own so well. Co-Monkey David responded:

The bald guy is amazing. His name is Jim Norton. I've liked him other times on the show.

Here's the exchange:

Quinn: ...the ACLU
Cross: Why are you solely focused on 20 Jews, you know?
Norton: Because to me they represent a lot of the problem on the Left. The problem with them is their inherent dishonesty. I don't think they're that afraid--
Cross: What? Their inherent dishonesty? What are you talking about?
Norton: Yes! What they're really afraid of is their growing irrelevance. The fact that the country has changed to a certain degree and they haven't acknowledged that--
Cross: They're more relevant now than they ever were!
Norton: They're not!
Quinn: Wait a second:
Norton: When they were defending black voting rights, and women's rights, they were relevant. But now that they're defending just child molesters and just terrorists--
Cross: They're not defending JUST child molesters and JUST terrorists.
Other guy: No, they're also doing significant stuff. They're fighting to get midgets on police departments...
Quinn: All right folks, we'll be right back...

Just when it was getting good...

I love the "JUST" (I didn't add that emphasis, he really said it that way).

Transcript courtesy of David and his Tivo. [Note: We still haven't been able figure out who that hilariously sarcastic "other guy" on the panel was. Do you know? Our email address is in the top left corner.]
posted by R.B. at 10:54 PM

 
Robb, your post addressing of my Sobran criticism (just below) is full of worthy points. I actually had a similar thought on the necessary bias-assumption over the "increasing body count" just after I posted it. But I really don't think that it's too much of a stretch - just look at the coldly-opportunistic inferences made each time the casualty counter ticks off another statistic. Sure, they're posed as having a moralistic concern for the individual lives involved, but the constant harping on the comparison between the numerical death toll cost and the "justification" for the military action in the first place just rings hollow in my ears. Just because some on the right share this aspect of "opposition," it doesn't change the fact that this "Vietnam envy" is predominantly a characteristic of the left-leaning.
posted by R.B. at 9:03 AM

 
Brad has now taken two swipes at my link to Sobran's article that discusses the New York Times, so I must retort:

I would like to point out, to start, that the reason I posted the link was because of the nomocracy/teleocracy discussion, not the "defense" of the Times, but I will respond to Brad's comments, nonetheless. The key quote in Sobran's discussion of the Times is the second paragraph:

Setting aside its editorial and commentary pages, I don’t share the general conservative view that the New York Times is the American version of the old Soviet daily Pravda. When I want full and accurate coverage of a story, I usually rely on the Times. Any liberal bias it displays is more than compensated for by its dedication to the impartial reporting of facts. I’m particularly grateful for its practice of giving full texts of (or at least long excerpts from) important presidential speeches and Supreme Court opinions.

Now, while it's true that TimesWatch has a wealth of fodder, a cursory browse through the homepage shows that the vast majority of the articles TW criticizes are opinion pieces, not "news", per se. And I'll also make a side reference Ben's entry about the myth of objectivity, anyway.

The point is, conservatives (particularly talk show hosts, popular columnists, and active politicians) tend to be "vague" about defining the Times as "liberal" - they suggest that the straight news stories are dripping with left-leaning propaganda, and Sobran's point is that it's just not true, or at least not true in any way that distinguishes the Lady from any other large paper.

So, in Brad's latest post on the subject, he links to a PowerLine post describing failure of the Times to properly check its source, which resulted in the reporting of a fabricated event. This is supposedly evidence that conservatives are not vague in their accusations of bias at the Times. But the argument fails in three ways. First, the event is evidence of ineptitude, not bias. Hindrocket's speculation in the penultimate paragraph that they "couldn't wait" to report another combat death is unsubstantiated. Second, you have to assume that only "liberal bias" would motivate them to report the increasing body count, as if there are no Republicans who oppose the war. Finally, and most importantly to Sobran's case, one post by a weblogger (even one that works for a conservative think tank) does not constitute a pattern of behavior on the part of the conservative establishment.

Okay, on to the issue of the relevance of [nomo|teleo]cracy. The title of the Sobran article is Dueling Teleocrats. More than half of the article focuses on explaining how conservatives have abandoned nomocracy and adopted a teleocratic view of government, which causes them to engage in the same questionable practices (litmus tests for Supreme Court justices is one that springs to mind) for which they often criticize "liberals". The Republicans are the "big government" party, too, they just emphasize different departments than the Democrats. The Right no longer has the moral high ground when it comes to issues of subverting the constitution and usurping unestablished power to accomplish their ends.
posted by RobbL at 2:28 AM

 
Insta-rection

Warning: This blog entry is narcissistically self-referential meta-blogging. Negativland would have a heyday. Oh, and there is a smutty blogosphere sniglet.

Okay, so we Monkeys were chattering about the insane traffic increase our site experienced when Instapundit linked to Brad's post on the Lileks smear campaign. Anyway, Brad sent us a SiteMeter graph containing the page views and visits we had experienced. Check it out.

The graph is remarkably phallic (at least to Dr. Freud and me) and I thought that the only reasonable term for this phenomenon would be "Insta-rection". Another traffic snapshot taken a few hours later only supports my interpretation. Given the (chronological) length of the event, I can only assume that Pfizer had something to do with this.

For more on the might and power of the Instapundit, check out this post on Jeff Jarvis's BuzzMachine.
posted by RobbL at 12:55 AM

 
The other day I was on a site (can't remember which) that linked to a James Lileks article that wasn't a Bleat, a Screed, or in the Strib. Where was that? It wasn't the Newshouse News Service, which I just discovered via Right Wing News. Of course, we've all read James making references to the many deadlines he meets throughout the week, but I've never seen any sort of Lileks Repository like Mark Steyn has, for example. What gives? Am I just missing something (besides all the good articles)?

Oh, and why does that picture at Newshouse News remind me of Marshall Crenshaw?
posted by R.B. at 4:56 PM

 
Just below, James shared some thoughts on "bible-thumpers." (I think we may be more "his kinda people" than he suspects.) Well, not so much "thumpin." But have I told you before how excited I am (as is the Bible teacher at the Christian school I helped found) about the English Standard Version? (BTW, we don't subscribe to the sort of wacky dispensationalist eschatology that James seems to have been alluding to below.)
posted by R.B. at 4:32 PM

 
I've found it rather odd that the anti-Catholic bias issue has virtually eclipsed the Episcopal meltdown here on InfMonks. Well, for a stab at some coverage I'm going to have to point you to this interesting fellow. Not only does Matthew Hoy manage to cull something worthwhile from The O'Reilly Factor (no easy task these days), but he also offers more on the Bishop debacle, he gives time to the same NYT story I had hoped would get more attention, he covers one of my favorite movies, and he begins a Lileks quotation in just the right spot. And all that's just in the last 4 days... Read your Hoystory! (Just don't pay any attention to those Ann Coulter books in the big Amazon ad there.)

UPDATE: Further proof that Hoystory is worth reading - He links to the very Hugh Hewitt Weekly Standard article that links to Infinite Monkeys!

Thanks to Instapundit for pointing us to Hoystory. (And of course, thanks to Mr. Reynolds for picking up on our Lileks Smear Campaign.)
posted by R.B. at 4:22 PM

 
There's this weird theory floating about that George W. Bush, Franklin Graham, and Karl Rove are secretly conspiring to make all of the prophecies in the Book of Revelation come true through the administration's Mideast policies.

Hunter S. Thompson apparently is one the believers of this conspiracy theory.

It's crazy and yet I wouldn't totally discount the idea. You gotta admit, Bush's God talk is really kinda weird. It's not that I begrudge him his faith or anything. It's just I kinda have an inherent fear of bible thumpers.

I grew up Baptist-- and let me tell you, those are some creepy people. And don't get me started on the Jehovah's Witnesses. Jesus I hate those people. I live an apartment building, no doorman, but you have to be buzzed in to get in. I thought I was safe from them right?

No, God, no.

Someone keeps buzzing them in. And they keep knocking on my door. And i open my door and there these people with these creepy jehovah's Witneses smiles. They all smile the same. I don't want to slam the door in their face. I don't want to be rude, even though they are being rude by coming by unannounced. Especially, if they didn't even bring any vodka. You come my house unannounced you better be a hot chick with some booze or some pot. Yeah I smoke. Anyways that's the only unannounced visitor I want.

I mean, why can't any of those crazy stories that i read about in Penthouse Forum ever happen to me? Why can't it be a hot red headed cable lady who not only hooks me up with the free pay channells, but hooks me up?

Anyway, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, bible thumpers-- not my kind of people.
posted by Dr. Monkeystein at 4:06 PM

 
Yesterday, Eugene Volokh had quite an interesting post on the nature of language. (Yes, I was being pulled in another lingual direction yesterday too. But sometimes "scholarly" can be too scholarly, St. Paul.) The Volokh Conspirator wrote:

Perhaps it would be better if human language, as it was actually used, was more rigid and unambiguous, with different words always being used to capture these different meanings, and with no-one ever speaking figuratively or hyperbolically. But that's not the way human beings actually talk. And the law is built for humans, not Vulcans, and it recognizes the reality of what words actually mean to listeners, not what they should mean.

... To some, this might sound post-modern, or a subjectivist denial of objective standards. A funny thing to hear from a conservative, they might conclude. But if this is indeed a post-modern view (and I'm not sure quite what that term means), then (1) the post-moderns are quite right here, and (2) they surely weren't the first to discover this.

Quite right, professor. This is one of those language issues that has an interesting history. Attempts to codify language in a manner similar to what E. Volokh described have been made in Italy in 1582 (the Accadémia della Crusca), and in France in 1635 (the Académie française), along with several other academies founded (throughout the Romance languages) in the 18th and 19th centuries. However, in 1712, Jonathan Swift filed a counter proposal (Improving and Ascertaining the English Tongue) with the Earl of Oxford, arguing that:

...our language is extremely imperfect; that its daily improvements are by no means in proportion to its daily corruptions; that the pretenders to polish and refine it have chiefly multiplied abuses and absurdities; and that in many instances it offends against every part of grammar. ... I am of the opinion, [that] it is better [that] a language should not be wholly perfect...

So, you see, it's not post-modern at all. Fluidity, change and nuance in language are inevitable. It's practitioners are, after all, only human.
posted by R.B. at 3:02 PM

 
Monkey reader Gene Vilensky writes:

"As a Russian, and a huge fan of Vodka, I humbly disagree with james'
blog-post about Skyy vodka. First, at least here in New York, it is less
expensive than Absolut, Stoli, or even Smirnoff! One can get 750 ml bottle
of Skyy (if one goes to a liquor mega-store) for under $15 a bottle and 1.75
L for about $22. That's a very very good deal."

Dearest Gene,

I'm tellin' you my man, there's no difference! None what so whatever! Maybe it's because I drink it straight up, with a 40 oz. Old County Inn as chaser. For 99 cents, that's a malt liquor packs a mighty fine wallop. You should try it someone Gene, with a pack of Marlboro Menthol Lights and some BBQ rib tips from the Chinese restaurant. I'm tellin' you Gene you got that goin' on on a Sunday afternoon, you're the happiest black boy on the PLANET. Anyhow Gene, my point is, I guess we're just gonna have to agree to disagree. Collier out.
posted by Dr. Monkeystein at 12:00 PM

 
James's vodka post surprised me. Skyy is more expensive than Stoli? Must be Manhattan's confiscatory sales and excise taxes. I can get a 750 ml bottle of Skyy at my local supermarket for $16. Stoli costs $20.

Not that I regularly buy either. I don't get vodka. I don't understand the appeal. Well, I sort of do. I like Skyy, but I can't tell the difference between it and, say, Absolut. They tell me (and I have no reason not to believe Them) that Grey Goose is sublime. But at $25 for a bottle of neutral grain spirit that technically shouldn't taste like anything, I haven't had the desire to find out. If I'm going to spend $25 for a bottle of booze, I'm opting for first-rate gin.

(By the way, James, this may change your opinion of Skyy.)

(Here's a site for Vodkaphiles, if you're into that kind of thing. And don't forget the Vodkapundit.)

Current song: "The Rinse Cycle" by Maytag Atlantis on the album, "Live at My House". Current drink: Coffee.
posted by Ben at 11:10 AM

 
I'm so excited! I'm so excited! I'm so.... scared

Just found out that Dustin Diamond who played "Screech" on "Saved by The Bell" is entering the California governor's race. We are now at DEFCON 1. I see no other course than to nuke the whole state. I'm sorry Ben, sorry Dave, sorry your lives and the lives of your loved ones will have to be sacrificed. But it's for the greater good. You'll be remebered as men who were true believers, who happened to be in the wrong state at the wrong time.

General!

Yes, Mr. President!

Launch the missles!

Yes, sir!

And General?

Sir?

Tell the handy man dude to paint the White House black!

But sir!!!!

That's an executive order mister!

Sir, yes, sir!

Ahhhh, it's good to be the king

posted by Dr. Monkeystein at 10:01 AM

 
I'm a big fan of the Vodka. Stoli at a bar, Georgi at home. Anyhow, there's this fancy dan brand of vodka called Skyy. It's comes in a pretty blue bottle. And it is very, very expensive. The other day I decided "Hey, lets do a taste test! Let's see how this premium brand of vodka stands up to the cheap ass Georgi." I was bored what can I tell ya. Anyhow, I do the taste test. No damn difference. I'm outraged, because basically I paid all this money for a big blue bottle of Georgi. Anyhow, I'm keepin' the big blue bottle, and I'm gonna refill it with the cheap stuff. And when company comes over, and I break out the bottle of Skyy, they'll think I'm a big shot. Word.
posted by Dr. Monkeystein at 8:11 AM

 
Lileks Smear Campaign

Obviously the Graystopo (embattled California Governor Davis' devastatingly effective "slime machine") has realized what a threat writer James Lileks poses as a supporter of Schwarzenegger. Today this old photo (link below) was released in an effort to smear the commentator's "family man" image.

"Not-Safe-For-Work Version" (as the folks at FARK.com say) "Safe-For-Work Version"

posted by R.B. at 12:48 AM

 
What was George Soros smoking when he came up with this idea?

Current song: "Who Moved My Monkey?" by the Phil Gruen Quartet on the album, "Green Tie, Red Pepper". Current drink: Quintessential martini (which the cat just tried to sip!)
posted by Ben at 12:10 AM

 
Doctrine of Insubstantiation

In today's Talking Points Memo, Joshua Micah Marshall finally puts into print his excuses which I critiqued late Wednesday night. Now that he's had a chance to take in my comments (on the web, and in my two calls on Hewitt's show), let's see how he's polished his position.

Marshall has finally linked to the article by Archbishop Chaput, but has not addressed its content. (JMM does score points in my book by quoting Mr. T, but that's a separate issue.) Of course, on Wednesday's radio guest spot he claimed to have taken on the content of the Archbishop's points, but we have yet to see anything so substantial in print. Continuing to cast the issue as laughable is eroding the left's credibility in the debate.
posted by R.B. at 3:37 PM

 
One of the things I appreciate about this election is the frantic conniption the two major parties are having, being unable to ensure the winning candidate is one of their lackeys. Let any fool with $3500 and 65 gullible acquaintances get on the ballot, and you've got yourself a hootenanny! It won't take long for the RepubliCrats to change the rules on this - since the number of signatures required for recall is relatively low (compared to actually winning the election in the first place), it will only be a matter of time before disenfranchised independents and third-party supporters start using recall as a standard tactic to "cancel out" the two-party election and replace it with the recall free-for-all.

Arizona has it's own progressive democracy silliness - we've got initiative, referendum, and recall out here, too. But in our recall election process, there is only one ballot. If you gather enough signatures to trigger a recall election, the sitting office-holder appears on the ballot along-side all of the challengers. So a successful recall requires not just the initial signatures and a majority of voters who want the guy ousted, but a replacement candidate who can get more votes than the recall's subject.

I think if you're going to have recall, you have to go all the way like California. It's much more "Lord of the Flies."
posted by RobbL at 3:22 PM

 
I'd like to interrupt the Republican love-fest (just teasing - love on, I say) to praise King over at the St. Cloud State University Scholars blog. In response (not so much opposition, but not so much agreement, either) to Lileks's current bleat, he challenges the "lesser of evils" approach to voting, quoting liberally (or should I say, libertarian-ally) from this article by Leonard Reed at Liberty Haven.

This is important stuff - the idea being that voting for someone who's "not quite as bad" as the other schleps does more harm than good, because it encourages mush-mouthed opportunists who aren't committed to any principles to run for office. Whoever does the best job of avoiding a commitment to any idea that might offend a large constituency wins. The best candidate is the candidate that stands for nothing but "America" (or, in this case, California) without defining the term. This or that candidate is "tough on crime." What the hell does that mean? Are we talking Judge Roy Bean tough, or English Labour Party tough? Here's a link to the post.
posted by RobbL at 3:21 PM

 
Hugh Hewitt offers a brief on "Reasons to Support Arnold" on his website. (It's the 10:20 entry; scroll down.)

Here's an excerpt:

1. AS can win. The others in the race who would make acceptable governors--Bill Simon, Tom McClintock, and Peter Ueberroth--cannot marshall enough votes to top the almost certain 25 to 30% that Cruz Bustamante will roll up. Objectivity matters a great deal here, and even if AS hadn't gotten into the race, the presence of more than one "movement" candidate dooms them all. Period. End of story. Arguing this point doesn't change the facts on the ground.

2. AS is best positioned to withstand the Graystopo, as the slime machine Gray has perfected has come to be called. Even if there was only one movement conservative in the race, he would be a target that would be mercilessly mowed down. Complaining about it doesn't stop it from happening.

3. AS does great things for the candidacy of Tony Strickland against Boxer in '04 and of course puts California in play for President Bush. So he's closer to Pataki than to Reagan, so what....

4. ... AS is a hyperdraw, matched only by the President and the Veep...

5. Finally, the state is in desperate shape. AS is right, businesses and talent are fleeing. Unless the bleeding stops, this economy continues to drag the national economy down, and with them both, the re-elect numbers of the President.

The purists have to get over it and get behind a winning effort.

Elsewhere, James Lileks writes:

I am always mystified by people who would rather die pure than live with imperfections. Every candidate will always disappoint, somehow. Any candidate with whom you agree 100% is probably unelectable. If your bumpersticker says DON’T BLAME ME, I VOTED FOR AYN RAND I'm not particularly impressed. ‘Cause she’s dead and none of that stuff is going to happen. Doesn’t mean we can’t keep the ideas in play, but if you don’t vote because no candidate vows to privatize the sewage systems and disband the Food and Drug Administration, don’t come crying to me when your marginal tax rate hits 71 percent.

I'm giving all of this some thought. Lileks is right, of course. Hewitt makes some good points, too, but they aren't unassailable.

First, you don't need to be a purist to have doubts about Arnold Schwarzenegger's ability to govern the Golden State. And I'm not a purist. I swallowed my pride and voted for Bob-frickin'-Dole in 1996, for crying out loud!

Second, 30% for Cruz? The Dem/Left votes will be spread out among Cruz, Garamendi, Arianna, and, to a lesser extent, Peter Camejo. Leftists aren't united behind Cruz. And I'm not certain that the Democratic Party is too happy with him, either. The Dems are anything but united at this point. Therefore, Dem strategy looks incoherent: Vote against the recall, but vote for Cruz? Okey-dokey.

Third, McClintock isn't a fringe candidate. On the contrary, in an election like this, he's a competitive candidate. He lost the race for controller last year, but by less than one-half of one percent after being outspent by the contemptible Steve Westly by 10-1. He got more votes than Bill Simon. He got more independent votes than any other Republican. He came within a couple hundred thousand votes of Davis's vote count.

Fourth, fifth, and sixth. . . I don't know yet. Like I said, I'm still thinking about it.

Hewitt wants the Republican party to succeed and the Democrats to fail. Fine. So do I. Suppose Arnold wins. It will be worth it if 1) he can turn the state around, and 2) he helps the Republican Party advance in 2004 and 2006. I'm willing to believe he's capable of the first (although he has yet to articulate how he intends to do it), but I'm doubtful about the second. Will he help McClintock run for Controller again in '06? Will he help Strickland against Boxer? McClintock are Strickland are the kind of conservatives that Arnold says he doesn't like very much. So we'll see.

McClintock, by the way, has said exactly what he'll do on his first day in office. He's said he'll repeal the car tax "before lunch." So far, Schwarzenegger has spewed a lot of hot gas. It's been a couple of days, I realize. But he'd better get specific soon.

So right now, I see no reason not to vote for McClintock... and with a clear conscience.

posted by Ben at 3:16 PM

 
What this one links to is worthy of much wider attention

(No, not the internal link, in which) I remind you of when Joseph Sobran claimed that conservatives are consistently vague in their accusations of liberal bias in The New York Times. Apparently PowerLine blog's Hindrocket hasn't been following the mythical stylesheet Sobran has been imagining. (yep, that's the link that's deserving of a national audience) As they say, read the whole thing. (Shouldn't that ubiquitous blog-mantra be reduced to "RTWT" soon? Hmm? What do you think, Mr. Reynolds?)
posted by R.B. at 2:43 PM

 
An encouraging trend. The disconnect between blacks and the Democratic party is a good thing. i think the more we African Americans have think more like stock brokers when it comes to politics. See, to me this whole groupthink of having to vote Democratic if you're black is bad investment. You gotta have a diverse portfolio so to speak. If you look at things honestly, the Deomocratic party has done nothing of substance for blacks. And issue blacks do support, like school vouchers, they are rebuffed soundly. This isn't anything new, but it's the first time blacks are beginning to say "hey, screw you."

I tell you something, i think school vouchers is such a big issue with blacks (and others), that if a Democratic candidate who's a little crazy and willing take on his party (yeah Howard I'm talking to you), announced he was for school vouchers I think some interesting would happen...

Anyhow today's stock ratings:
GAY MARRIAGE (GMG)-- BUY HOLD SELL: 3
CALIFORNIA (CAL)--BUY HOLD SELL: 5
KOBE BRYANT (KBE)-- BUY HOLD SELL: 4
HOWARD DEAN (HOWD)-- BUY HOLD SELL: 2
FORD EXPLORERS (FRDX)-- BUY HOLD SELL: 4
MEXICAN PRESIDENT VINCENTE FOX (MFOX)-- BUY SELL HOLD: 4
JENNIFER LOPEZ-BEN AFFLECK (JLOB)-- BUY HOLD SELL: 5




posted by Dr. Monkeystein at 2:14 PM

 
Regarding Kurt Waldheim: Don't you think that most voters, save the fanatics, will either say, "No big deal," or, more likely, "Who's Kurt Waldheim?"

If the "Nazi problem" is the best the Democrats can do, then they really are in trouble.

Enough of this silly talk. I have two questions: Is Schwarzenegger really more comfortable with "an Adam Smith philosophy?" (David offered good evidence on Arnold's behalf yesterday.)

More important, how can a conservative like Tom McClintock beat Schwarzenegger?

Current song: "Soul Destroyer" by the John Schroeder Orchestra on the album "Space Age Soul". Current drink: Piping-hot coffee.
posted by Ben at 10:13 AM

 
UPDATE to my 3:47 PM post from yesterday: Well, if you're reading this, there's a good chance you've already read this morning's post over at Hewitt's homepage blog. In case you haven't, you ought to. Sending you there is better than any update or addition I could make to my previous post. Read HH's 6:45 AM entry (direct link not really available, so just scroll down). Also, because it may have slipped under most people's radar, scroll down HH's page further to find (the unusually late) 7:00 PM post on August 6th for HH's comments on a vital link to the Vatican's November 2002 "DOCTRINAL NOTE on some questions regarding The Participation of Catholics in Political Life." Compare that with the Democrats' statements in this article (link borrowed shamelessly from HH's blog - it's an issue important enough to warrant a special dispensation of blog etiquette suspension). No, neither he, nor I, are Catholic. As with the current Episcopal debacle, you don't need to be a member of the particular group to have a dog in these hunts. Oh, and speaking of one's standing as a Catholic... let's not forget the Church's recently displayed growth in willingness to be vocal about the importance of doctrinal adherence for those who wish to be known as professing members of the club. These baby-steps back toward a reasonable view of the limits of orthodoxy are long overdue - for most branches of the faith.
posted by R.B. at 9:59 AM

 
I agree with Ben's post below. I'm not saying Davis won't use dirty tricks against Arnold, but he is not Simon. Mickey Kaus wonders if Arnold should have used "partner" to describe Maria, and Weintraub questions the bikini line line, but they miss the point: Arnold was inoculating himself against these kinds of attacks. As Ben points out, he is possibly the only candidate in the whole race who has the stature to decry dirty attacks (everyone else could be attacked by one candidate to the benefit of other candidates, but attacking the likeable Arnold makes everyone else look bad, whether they had a direct hand in it or not).

The problem is that Arnold may have underestimated how low political rhetoric has gotten. Slate magazine's increasingly erratic Tim Noah talks about Arnold's "Nazi problem." The key quote:

Clearly, though, that won't be enough. If Schwarzenegger doesn't renounce Waldheim in a highly public way, he can forget about ever becoming governor of California.

Oh, man. How out of touch can someone be? Yes, we also need to know what Arnold thinks of Reagan's visit to Bitburg, his view on the Teapot Dome scandal, and whether he feels the XYZ Affair reflects poorly on John Adams.

But just wait. It's all going to get dug up. And while they're throwing the dirt at Arnold, they won't notice how deep a hole they are digging for themselves. This is about the politics of disgust: we, the California voters, are disgusted by business as usual. The more they try to bury Arnold, the more he is an alternative.
posted by David at 11:39 PM

 
King over at SCSUScholars observes:

One of the portrayals you'll see of Arnold is his connection to the Palmer R. Chitester Fund. Media Transparency has him linked to Stossel...which ties him to the Bradley Foundation crowd. My guess is he'll get painted by this much as Bill Simon was in 2002. What do our friends in California say?

Interesting question. Immediately after Simon's upset victory in last year's primary, Davis tried to tag him as a "true-blue think-tank conservative" because of his philanthropic support for certain outposts of the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy. (I thought Simon should have taken the label and run with it, but I guess his advisors, in their genius, counseled him to be ashamed. It worked.) In fact, it didn't make much of a difference, as far as I could tell. Simon lost to Davis for three very important reasons, in no particular order: 1) he couldn't communicate; 2) he focused on the wrong issues (Davis's odd fundraising practices) at the expense of the right ones (the looming budget crisis); 3) he was portrayed, and therefore perceived, as an inept and malicious businessman at a time when other inept and malicious businessmen were wiping out people's pensions.

There are certain caveats, of course. Simon did speak about California's terrible business climate, the worker's comp crisis, etc. But he never impressed me as having a genuine command of the issues, questions, problems, and concerns (unlike Tom McClintock, who understands these things inside and out, from principle to policy).

The Dems may try to pin these shadowy associations on Schwarzenegger, but I have a hard time believing they'll stick to him any more than they stuck to Simon. For one thing, I don't think Schwarzeneggar's campaign will be nearly as inept as Simon's was. The quick and obvious answer: "Why are my opponents changing the subject? This is typical of the politics-as-usual that has dominated Sacramento for far too long. I'm talking about turning California's economy around, and they're talking about bogeymen." Or something to that effect.
posted by Ben at 10:28 PM

 
Blogger is blowing it. There is increasing instability, and disregard for problems. Ironically, they are being trashed in the BlogSphere they helped create. I'll write about this more later, but my immediate problem is that I can't track traffic to our site.

So, if you like what you see, drop us an e-mail at
infinitemonkeys at zebra.net.
Replace that "at" with a "@" of course.

If you don't like what you see, send us several e-mails. And if you're apathetic, send one anyway.

Update: I'm trying SiteMeter. I just added it, so don't laugh at our pathetically low numbers...
posted by David at 4:22 PM

 
The New Republic's editor, Peter Beinart (btw, does anybody know what "TRB" stands for? I don't) just filled his weekly segment on Hugh Hewitt's show. Right out of the gate, there were many of the same dismissive arguments that Joshua Micah Marshall used yesterday. Except that the intensity seemed to be turned up a bit higher. Like yesterday, the left leaning writer ignored the challenge to write on Archbishop Chaput's public arguments. Beinart would not hear of any claim of religious bigotry, ever. The filibuster of Estrada? Couldn't be based on race, since the Hispanic Caucus (did you know that it leaned a bit toward the Democratic side of the aisle?) isn't raising it as an issue. Another permutation of the some-of-the-Democrats-are-Catholic argument. This makes about as much sense as asserting that no african-american could be a racist because of the color of his skin, which I think is about as valid claiming that males are not qualified to take a stand on abortion. (Note how some from that crowd label Ward Connerly, Clarence Thomas, or Ken Hamblin.)

Do those last points border on qualifying as ad hominem attacks? Well, I think they pale in comparison to Beinart's assertion that Republicans are in no position to claim anti-Catholic bias, since their party leader attended Bob Jones University.

But there was a new development today. Yesterday the "dare" (Josh Marshall's term) was just to write on the historical facts of the oaths tests. Today the bar was lowered and the "dare" was just for the left to read the case law that addresses the true historical applications of religious bigotry in this country. "Dares" accepted: none to date.
posted by R.B. at 3:47 PM

 
Are Arnold's methods unsound? Conservative political consultant Arnie Steinberg worries that Schwarzenegger's sandbagging of Richard Riordan could be a "bad sign" of the way he'll run his campaign and the gov's office. Or not. Steinberg has worked with his share of egomaniacal candidates, so he knows what he's talking about.
posted by Ben at 3:40 PM

 
Ah. The malice begins.
posted by Ben at 2:47 PM

 
Scott "The Big Trunk" Johnson over at Power Line adds two considerable cents to the ongoing Schwarzenegger-Ventura comparison. "Trunk" thinks the contrasts between the two muscle-bound politicians are massive:

The first is character. Jesse is monumentally solipsistic in a way that distinguishes him even from a celebrity like Arnold. He never made the commitment of aligning himself with one of the major political parties. In Jesse's world, everything is about Jesse. Even the political party with which he cast his lot became his mirror image--the Minnesota-only Independence Party, which (like the Reform Party) exists only as a vehicle for whatever ego manages to hijack it in a given election. So far as we are aware, he has devoted himself to no causes larger than himself and his greater glorification in the course of a relatively long public career. Jesse's understanding of public policy issues extends roughly as far as any issue affects him personally.

The second contrast is Jesse's fraudulence...

The third contrast is temperament...

Go read the rest now.
posted by Ben at 2:36 PM

 
Oh, They're Out There. They're Really Out There

Thanks to the miracle of Technorati, I just became reacquainted with the Eschaton blog. I recommend it. It's important to understand what our political enemies think. One recent post of note urges support for Cruz Bustamante in the recall. But the Eschaton Experience is incomplete without a trip through the comment sections. Most of them are, I suspect, fairly reflective of conventional liberal wisdom: sincere, partisan, wrong. Then there are the lunatics, like this guy. Good to be reminded that the conspiracy kooks aren't just militiamen in Michigan!
posted by Ben at 2:14 PM

 
Could Bravo get any better for Michael Medved? No, I'm not talking about the cable network's recent questionable programming that has spawned much topical discussion on gay issues on his show. It's a series of specials called All the Presidents' Movies detailing the history of the presidential screening room and its occupants' preferences and anecdotes. Bravo's site doesn't offer much in the way of info about the shows. They're using most of their pixels to hail the advent of The West Wing's syndication. For good coverage, we turn now to an Australian outfit called Crikey. The FoxNews Network is running a teaser about one of their shows that is supposed to be covering the same topic this afternoon, but their consistently unnavigable website is (seemingly) devoid of info.
posted by R.B. at 1:13 PM

 
Radio man Michael Medved just announced breaking news - Darrell Issa has declared that he is not running for governor of California.

[2nd] UPDATE: It's official. (The odd thing is that Issa's announcement is being described as "tearful." What is it with these overly compassionate conservatives lately?)

Ben's UPDATE: U.S. Rep. Darrell Issa, the man who put his money where his mouth was on the California recall, is out of the recall race, CNN and others report. He says, "There are enough good Republicans on the ballot." Issa isn't endorsing any candidate. Michael Huffington, the ex-husband of candidate Arianna who was mulling a run of his own, endorsed Schwarzenegger this morning. Will other Republicans yield to the Terminator? Also, Insurance Commissioner John Garamendi is officially in.
posted by R.B. at 12:35 PM

 
Why did it take me so long to put together my piece on Joshua Micah Marshall? Well, before the exemplary episode of The Daily Show took its turn slowing me down, I was trying to type while watching the end of one, and then all of the next episode of a PBS documentary on The Spartans. The Elder over at Fraters Libertas accurately explains the details. Those who saw the show will know what I mean when I say that Bettany Hughes' descriptions of the Spartan women and the early American women who emulated their resolve should be required viewing for the myriad modern day Alan Alda-type wuss-mongers, male and female alike. (Admission: I do enjoy Alda on PBS's Scientific American Frontiers, but don't get me started on the time I met Mike Farrell.)
posted by R.B. at 11:59 AM

 
The 100 Percenters are no more. Lt. Governor Cruz Bustamante, who could not manipulate the courts into annointing him Governor, has decided to go after the job the old-fashioned way by manipulating the voters instead. Insurance Commissioner John Garamendi is likely to join him on the ballot. Rep. Loretta Sanchez is still a possible candidate, although some of her colleagues in Congress are saying she'll most likely back down now that Bustamante is in. (Too bad.) Once again, the name of former Clinton Chief of Staff Leon Panetta is in the mix.

And, somewhere, Terry McAuliffe is wiping the egg off his face.

Gray Davis is most likely finished (how's that for equivocation?). He will go down kicking and screaming, of course, even though his fellow Democrats are abandoning him on the legal front, as well.

Speaking of betrayal, it turns out that Richard Riordan was as surprised as anybody at Arnold's announcement. Evidently, they had an "understanding." Clearly, somebody was misunderstood.
posted by Ben at 11:29 AM

 
You know... if anything were to develop from the publicity propagated via my involvement on this blog, I would have to hope that some support could be generated for Providence Classical School. Sure, it's a cliché to say that the fledgling K-through-12 school is on a very tight budget (it's fully private - not a "charter" - so, no state money). But what makes things tougher is that a substantial portion of our students' tuition is channeled through a private program that allows people to get a state tax break for donating to Christian schools. The disbursement doesn't come until some point well into the second semester. Unfortunately, our cash flow is projected to grind to a halt during the first semester.

Back in May, Hugh Hewitt reassured me, "You will find some benefactors for Providence. I know it."

So, if you are moved by the idea of supporting classical Christian education, please check out the first few links on the Site Menu of the PCS website. (Emails to "info-AT-providenceclassical-DOT-org come directly to me, Brad, or "R.B." as I'm known on Infinite Monkeys.)
posted by R.B. at 10:56 AM

 
With Gary Coleman entering the California governor's race, the recall effort has taken a sharp and steadied turn into farce. The only way to salvage this whole thing, is for President Bush to suspend the state's constitution, install a military junta, and declare martial law. We might even have to take away their Electoral College votes. In my opinion it's the only way to keep the state from turning into Argentina or even worse, Venezuela.

Sure, you might think I'm being tough on the people of California. But the way I look at it is this: let's say you have a favorite Aunt, and she's getting on in years. She's getting forgetful, and acting strange. The house is overrun with cats, and cat feces. She hasn't bathed in days. And the other day, she broke her hip. It's obvious she can no longer take of herself. That it's time to put her in The Home.

What I'm saying is, metaphorically, this is what has happened to my home sweet home, California. Like your favorite aunt, California has officially gone crazy, and its time to invoke power of attorney, and lock her away-- for her own good. It's a sad day for sure, because you know it's the kiss of death-- the only way old California will be leaving The Home is through the big elevator in the sky. But you have to do it--you just have to.
posted by Dr. Monkeystein at 10:54 AM

 
Mitch at "Shot in the Dark" takes up the Schwarzenegger-Ventura comparison and dispenses with it nicely. My original attempt was, admittedly, a potshot in the dark.

I'm grateful to David for highlighting Arnold's free-market views. His pro-business stance is certainly well known (that was the point of his discussion with Leno). With his Friedmanesque credentials in mind, I'll be anxious to hear how he thinks we should fix worker's comp and health-care finance. And, oh yeah, what does he think about school choice?
posted by Ben at 8:11 AM

 
J'accuse Joshua Micah Marshall

The prof. gave me an assignment, so I've got to cover why Joshua Micah Marshall is really out of line in his (lack of) handling of HH's and Archbishop Chaput's substantive entries on the Senate Democrats' anti-Catholic tactics. First I post against Hugh's rhetoric (not always a derisive term) against his opponents in the anti-Catholic bias debate, then I wind up on his radio show, dismissing one of those opponents' defense as "worse than the excuses my eight-year-old could come up with." Well, fortunately, I had revised my position on Hugh's verbiage, so hopefully I didn't qualify as fully hypocritical when I opened up my own can o' critique on Joshua Micah Marshall.

I guess what's so frustrating is Marshall's unwillingness to stand up and admit where he's taken the easy road here. Blogs work at such a lightning pace that corrections and clarifications are synonymous with credibility. My post taking Hugh to task for rhetorical hyperbole was based on a faulty interpretation hatched from an improperly placed paragraph break. When I heard him explain the error, and the resulting change in the interpretation of his writing, I had my post updated within 3 or 4 minutes. I was on the phone, on hold, waiting to take Hugh to task, voice to voice when I published the first update. Within a few hours, I had a quote from Hugh featured right in my original post, in a second update. What became obvious was that, in light of his explanation, my original criticism was unfounded. And I admitted so on the air, in front of a national audience. (In sucking it up, and being humble about it, I learned a valuable lesson: "Make sure you've shot at your enemies before you shoot at your friends.")

I'm not going to spend many pixels on Marshall's complaints about Hewitt's ad hominem attacks. These harmless quips are not related to any arguments. They are teasers - to his readers and audience - to build interest in Marshall's work. The effect of these friendly jabs is to point more people to Marshall's Talking Points Memo blog. It's not unlike the same ribbing that Hugh gives Lileks. (I doubt Marshall would accuse Hugh of ad hominem attacks against Lileks - of course, I have.)

At one point, Marshall's frustration opened up into a rather telling admission. He tried to silence Hugh by saying that he doesn't react to people "daring" him to blog things. Now, that's a bit of a slip, Josh. What's been admitted, I believe, is that Marshall would consider it truly daring to point his readers to the Archbishop's article, or to address the practical applications of historic test oaths and the history behind our Constitution's Religious Test Clause and Oath Clause. Does that seem like a cheap stretch? Daring...therefore daring. Well, it's more sound than Marshall's defense of not citing HH in his article with the excuse that, "it wasn't a blog entry."

Now, if you're reading this, what I'm about to explain is probably 101-level basic stuff. But for those readers who have followed a Weekly Standard link, or noted the shameless self-promotion on Hewitt's radio show, this "web-log" thing may be somewhat new. The standard of linking to sources in a blog is not just about giving a leg up to fellow bloggers (it's hard to get noticed in the sea of blogs, and any endorsement is thoroughly appreciated). What sets bloggers apart from their old-media establishment counterparts is that the medium has allowed for a new transparency in reporting and commentary. Aside from blogging about blogging way too much, bloggers are reshaping journalism by pointing readers to sources inline - immediately (in the etymological sense of the word). Joshua Micah Marshall is a member of this new breed of journalists. Just because Marshall submits a piece to a magazine (though it was an online artcle), it doesn't mean that he suddenly has to play by old school rules. Marshall said that Hewitt's complaint about not being cited was "the height of vanity." That is a red herring. It's not about Hugh wanting his name in front of a new set of eyeballs. It's all about intellectual honesty and transparency for one's readers.

Marshall tried to slip around this by stating that despite it all, he had been addressing the points made by Hewitt and Archbishop Chaput. "I've haven't named him [the Archbishop], but I've dealt with his issues." Well, that's debatable. What's not is how much easier it is to deal with a characterization of someone's position than it is to deal with the real thing. This is exactly what Marshall has admitted to doing. Marshall tried to further distance himself from the particulars by arguing that his intention was "not to refute Hugh Hewitt," but to address the controversy in general. Well, okay. But Marshall must admit that he's doing so by simply characterizing his opponents' positions. That's just not in keeping with the fine traditions that the blogosphere has brought to bear on the new world of journalism. (Hugh finished his interview segment with JMM by plugging the Talking Points Memo blog.)
posted by R.B. at 1:39 AM

 
Arnold is an Economics Nerd

When I was in college, I was a bit of a library nerd. I used to go to UCSD’s Central Library and browse the stacks, especially the economics section. I remember picking up a small, poorly bound book that was a collection of papers presented at a very academic, very technical symposium held in the early 1980's on the Austrian school of economics. That's not actually a school, but a group of thinkers who ushered in a new free market view of economics. On the first page was a small list of attendees at the conference, and there was Arnold Schwarzenegger's name.

This actually wasn't that surprising, and not just because Arnold's Austrian. He has an undergraduate degree in business and international economics, and was very rich before he ever became an actor (he invested the money he made in body building very shrewdly).

I may still have a lot of questions about Arnold, and I'm not sure if I'll vote for him. But I strongly disagree with those (such as Charles at Little Green Footballs) who claim that no one knows what he stands for.

In fact, I'll let Arnold respond to that, in a way, with this quote from Laissez Faire Book's web page selling Milton and Rose Friedman's "Free to Choose" videos:

Milton and Rose Friedman's Free to Choose TV series has changed my life.

I came from Austria, a socialistic country where government controlled the economy. A place where you can hear 18-year-old kids talking about their pensions. I wanted more. I wanted to be the best. I had to come to America. I had no money in my pocket, but here I had the freedom to get it. I have been able to parlay my muscles into a big movie career.

Okay, so there I was, waiting for Maria to get ready for a game of mixed doubles tennis. I started flipping the television dial. I caught a glimpse of Nobel Prize winning economist Milton Friedman whom I recognized from my studies in economics. I didn't know I was watching Free to Choose. It knocked me out. Dr. Friedman validated everything I ever thought about the way the economy works.

I became a big pain in the neck about Free to Choose. All my friends and acquaintances got tapes as well as books for Christmas after Christmas. If I had come up with Free to Choose, maybe I wouldn't have got into body building. --Arnold Schwarzenegger

(And, yes, that's Maria Shriver, whom he met in 1977 at a tennis tournament. And no, I don't really get that last sentence.)
posted by David at 1:28 AM

 
We Are All Individuals!

From the "oblivious to one's own irony" file, I thought I'd share something (sort of) funny about the progressive metal band Tool, who I have previously quoted in this weblog. Early in 2002, I purchased a package they released called Salival, which contained a DVD with the band's videos, plus a full-length CD of live, rare, and alternate tracks. The first track is a 15-minute promotion of drug use called "Third Eye", a live version of the song which closed their Ænema album. The studio version opens with a clip of dead comedian Sam Kineson (this is bonus irony, included at no additional charge) discussing how drugs have positively influenced western civilization. But the live version opens with an extended sermon by Timothy Leary, with certain phrases repeated, mantra-like, for emphasis. What were these phrases, you ask?

"Think for yourself. Question authority."
"Think for yourself. Question authority."
"Think for yourself. Question authority."

It goes on and on like this. "Hilarious!", I thought. "Brilliant!", I again said to myself. They've taken this lecture by Leary, and repeated the critical phrases over and over to show the irony of Leary "preaching" these "doctrines" to his "subjects", who have no grasp of the hypocrisy of someone "leading" a movement that rejects any concept of authority, and the utter nonsense of dictating the belief system that "thinking for yourself" inevitably (in their thinking) leads to. Genius!

Then I saw them perform.

Singer Maynard James Keenan's first interaction to the crowd was pretty much exactly the kind of speech you'd give to ignorant sheep who want to believe they're free-thinking enlightened gnostic insiders. Something to the effect of "We're all here to have fun. Not monster-truck rally kind of fun, but 'think for yourself, question authority' kind of fun. The kind of fun Republicans hate." Okay, fine. You've got an arena full of stoned kids, plus at least one shady looking guy in his mid-thirties who is almost certainly being looked at as, "the narc." It's certainly marginally better than saying "Hello Cleveland! We love your women!" But the choice of words he used to describe what kind of fun "we" were about to have sent fear through my heart. Could it be that they DIDN'T intend to be ironic on that record?

When they actually played "Third Eye", the audience's reaction confirmed my fears. They just didn't get it, and the band didn't want them to. A disappointment, to be sure.

Oh, and they didn't play my favorite songs off Ænema. And the sound sucked. And the opening act (Meshugga? Was that their name?) was positively awful. I'm talking about "Beavis and Butthead pretend to sing like Rob Zombie" awful.
posted by RobbL at 1:27 AM

 
Enjoy the Show

I'm watching Schwarzeneggar on Leno right now. Damn, he's good. I'm not terribly impressed with this "people vs. special interests" stuff, though. But I can see how some people would be. "I have plenty of money. Nobody can pay me off." Nice.

Dan Weintraub of the Sacramento Bee predicts Schwarzeneggar will win, but not necessarily in a cakewalk. Suddenly, failed puschist Lt. Gov. Cruz Bustamante is back in play. (By the way, it really is true that two weeks is an eternity in politics. The Sac Bee story reports that setting the date of the recall was "the biggest decision of [Bustamante's] career." Funny.)

Quoth Weintraub:

Bustamante could be formidable. If he is able to raise a few bucks and benefit from some independent expenditures from political action committees, he could make a run at it. He will get some attention as potentially the first Hispanic governor in the modern history of the state. And he will get a bump from being lieutenant governor, which, as Gray Davis showed, is a title voters think means something.

Gray who? Oh yeah. He is still the governor, after all. Now that his vast right-wing conspiracy is being swallowed whole inside a mutli-partisan populist revolt, his best chance is to declare the thing a circus and hope voters trek to the polls to express their dissatisfaction.

You mean all those voters who just got their car registration notices in the mail?
posted by Ben at 12:41 AM

 
Whatchu Talkin' 'bout, Gray?

Gary Coleman is definitely in the recall race.

"It's true that there is a farcical quality to the entire recall effort. But Gary's candidacy is no more farcical than that of Arnold Schwarzenegger, or Arianna Huffington, or the comedian Gallagher," said Coleman's campaign treasurer, Steve Buel, who is also editor of the Oakland (CA) East Bay Express and the guy who ponied up the $3,500 to get Coleman on the ballot.
posted by Ben at 12:07 AM

 
Steve Hayward over at No Left Turns says that Schwarzeneggar's candidacy actually increases the chances of Senator Dianne Feinstein jumping in the race, too. This, despite her statement today that she is absolutely, positively out of the running. So I bet Steve a buck that he's wrong.

Given my track record of political prognostication lately, maybe I should just send him the dollar right now.
posted by Ben at 11:48 PM

 
My Old Friend, Ad Hominem

I suppose it isn't sufficient to simply dismiss Marshall as a weasely partisan hack? (I know, I know: Takes one to know one.)
posted by Ben at 11:24 PM

 
Still working on a treatment of Joshua Micah Marshall. Perhaps my progress is being slowed by tonight's archetypal episode of The Daily Show. It's a must for you Tivo people.
posted by R.B. at 11:18 PM

 
Lileks is back, and he leads with the Arnie/Jessie issue:

If Arnold is the savior of California, I guess that means that Jesse Ventura was his John the Baptist. He was the first to show that large blunt men with muscle-centric showbiz careers could assume the governorship of a state - but that’s where the similarity ends.

Go read it now. Maybe if we all go at once, we can bring his server down again.
posted by David at 10:04 PM

 
Hugh Hewitt's new Daily Standard article is up. Thanks for the plug, Hugh! And hello Standard reader(s).
posted by Ben at 9:54 PM

 
Draw Your Own Analogies!

I'm not the only one mentioning Schwarzeneggar and Reagan in the same sentence. I, too, think the comparison is inapt, but not for the reasons this Reuters "story" suggests. Schwarzeneggar is not a political "neophyte" at all, a fact the Reuters "reporter" seems to acknowledge in the very lead of the article. (Scare quotes courtesy of James Taranto.)
posted by Ben at 9:32 PM

 
Still not enough time available to write a serious post. But as I was passing by the computer, I noticed Ben's comparison of Schwarzeneggar to Ventura. Not being a Californian myself, or a Minnesotan, I'd say this looks like a job for Fraters Libertas. Tag - St. Paul, you're it.

UPDATE: I'm throwing the request out to the entire Northern Alliance of Bloggers (FL, SCSU Scholars, Mitch Berg's Shot in the Dark, PowerLine, and of course, Lileks (who didn't even have to be asked).
posted by R.B. at 9:20 PM

 
Schwarzeneggar told Jay Leno: "The politicians are fiddling, fumbling and failing. The man that is failing the people more than anyone is Gray Davis. He is failing them terribly, and this is why he needs to be recalled and this is why I am going to run for governor." This is great stuff, the language of the outsider. One might even call it Reaganesque. But I have a nagging feeling about Schwarzeneggar. He doesn't remind me of Ronald Reagan so much as one of his co-stars from "Predator" who also dabbled in state politics.

No, that's unfair to Jesse Ventura. To his credit (I guess), Ventura talked on the record about any number of controversial political subjects. But Ventura turned out to be a terrible governor. His problem, in my estimation, was that he believed his own demagoguery. My old boss had a different take, which is pretty persuasive, too. "For him, it was just another gig."
posted by Ben at 7:23 PM

 
Oh, great. Now I'm obligated to post something respectable about Josh Marshall's self-defense on HH's show today. Well, I did take notes... But I'm working against a daylight deadline on the chore of lawn mowing, and we get our flood irrigation late tonight. (I wonder, does that make any sense to non-Arizonans?) Back to the keyboard, presumably, after the kids are put down. Thanks for checking in here at Infinite Monkeys. (The post that HH referenced is just two (or three, depending upon how badly Blogger is acting up) posts down.
posted by R.B. at 6:28 PM

 
Schwarzeneggar is running after all. Well, I was dead wrong (along with just about everyone else). Hope trumped thought. I had hoped he would not run. But—and I say this in the cold light of sobriety—I think he can be beaten. Not by Davis, though. Between the car tax and the likely late entry of a viable Democrat such as John Garamendi, Davis is terminated.

So let's assume Davis is recalled. The second half of that ballot is getting longer by the day. There are some serious candidates on there. Even some of the jokers are serious. Schwarzeneggar cannot assume that he will waltz into the governor's office.

Trouble is, I think Schwarzeneggar's candidacy only fuels the recall freak show stories. The way in which Schwarzeneggar announced his intentions confirms this (approval from certain quarters notwithstanding. Or is it getting too ironic in here already? I need some air...). Arnold is plugging his candidacy the way he plugged T3. Will politics imitate art?

I just heard Schwarzeneggar's impromptu press conference. "What made me be able to be here today is the open arms of America," he said. "I've been adopted by America." Not bad. Not bad at all. He wants to go to Sacramento to "clean house." He's running against "special interests" (yawn). He understands the business climate in California is horrible. That's good. Of course, he's also all for welfare statism and affordable daycare . . . "Everything has to be provided for the people." Off-the-cuff stuff, I know. I eagerly await the well-crafted, focus-group tested position papers. I hope the first one is a short statement about the car tax.
posted by Ben at 6:20 PM

 
Okay. Time to prove that the Monkeys are not "mind-numbed" lackeys of the SRN talk radio heavies. I'm taking issue with Hugh Hewitt (again). It's not a full blown schism (as has been clearly warranted, and is finally obvious, in the Episcopal/worldwide Anglican Church), but rather a disagreement over matters of degree. Hugh seems to have gone a bit overboard with his characterizations (Wed. 7:35 AM entry). I agree that Josh Marshall has once again proved himself to be conveniently slippery with regard to relevant links, and that no one on the Left has even dared touch the historical precedents of the "test clause." But I don't understand the rhetorical decision to label his opponents' counter-arguments as "plenty of invective spewing out from the usual suspects." While there is some invective, such a description seems too exaggerated. It plays into the hands of a Josh Marshall's (self-interestedly veiled) accusation of Hewitt as "a fulminating right wing commentator." Hugh rightly calls Lawrence Solum's Legal Theory blog post, "the most comprehensive reply to the constitutional arguments against the new test," but in the very next sentence, this substantial post (it rivals Robb's "blogging from paradise" post, but isn't nearly as fun to read) gets lumped into a category Hewitt labels as, "more salvos from the frenzied left." Whether the correlation was intentional or not, that's an unfortunately inaccurate representation of Solum's extensive rebuttal.

(UPDATE: on his radio show this afternoon, I believe HH admitted that he did not intend to cast Solum's piece in the same light as that of Marshall's or Novak.)
2nd UPDATE: That first update was typed while on hold for Hugh's radio show. Subsequently, while it was well-intentioned, it was less than accurate. To avoid further missteps, linking the good with the bad, I will include the following quotation now appearing on HH's homepage blog:

I also want to point out my poor paragraphing below may have led some folks to conclude that I was lumping OutsidetheBeltway, Marstonalia, and LegalTheoryBlog among the frenzied leftists like Joshua who are pulling out all stops to defend the new Catholic test.  I had intended to underscore how these blogs treated the controversy with responsibility, not rhetoric. Paragraphing is a perilous business. My apologies to these three fine sites.

Paragraphing. Check. Now if we can just teach HH to link directly to individual posts, instead of just to the base URL of a blog... (Lynn, school 'im) Continue reading for the section of my post that (rightly) gave HH reason to teach me a thing or two about, "Mak[ing] sure you've shot at your enemies before you shoot at your friends."

I'm concerned here mostly over the tenor and timbre of the debate. (Well, there was once place where Solum criticized the Right's points by claiming that throughout the debate, the "positions have become simplified rather than nuanced." Isn't that an admirable goal for rational discourse? I get so frustrated with the idea that the more complicated and intellectual a position becomes, the better it is. Elitist hogwash, I say.) Back to the tone. It's not that I'm making a pathetic plea of can't we all just get along? It's more of a practical, boy who cried wolf observation. In the same way that true treason loses its gravitas and has its meaning distorted and dulled by having the charge thrown around carelessly (by both sides, or all sides - to include Robb - who is not personally known to throw around charges, other than that of anti-christ), the implication that one's opponents are simply frothing nonsensical hacks undermines the accuser more than it does the accused. Such accusations need to be kept fresh, by being kept sealed, for those rare occasions when they are truly called for. As a center-right talk show host, Mr. Hewitt also begins from a position of perceived dismissive hot-headedness. As the Monkeys have defended before, HH ain't no Michael Savage. But he may suffer from the stereotype that such conservative blowhards engender.

We can, and Hewitt usually does, do better. Words mean things. But they can also be bleached out by leaving them in the sun too often.
posted by R.B. at 2:57 PM

 
Line from a review of a recent Camper Van Beethoven show, from the CamperVan-Etc group on Yahoo!:

This is like the craziest, most wonderful dream that doesn't end even when you know you have to get up and pee
posted by RobbL at 12:38 PM

 
Every year its the same damn thing. The Japanese get to act all superior because we had the temerity to drop The Bomb on them. 230,000 people at Hiroshima, that's sad. But before we shed any tears for those "victims", lets shed some tears for the victims of the Japanese Empire (Source: The Twentieth Century Atlas:

* Nanking Massacre, 1937-38: Approximately 300,000+
* Burma-Siam Railroad, worker deaths (1941-43): 16,000 POWS & approximately 20,000-1000,000 Burmese civilians.
* East Timor: 70,000 died under Japanese occupation
* Singapore: 5,000 Chinese massacred
* Datong Coal Mine, China: 60,000 slave laborers killed
* Forced labor camps in Japan: 6,830 imported workers died
* Philippines: 100,000+
* Death by democide: 5,964,000
POWs: 539,000 (400,000 Chinese)
Forced Labor: 1,010,000 (142,000 Chinese)
Massacres: 3,608,000 (2,850,000 Chinese)
Bombing/CB warfare: 558,000 (all Chinese)
Imposed Famine: 250,000 (none in China)
It is estimated that General/Prime Minister Tojo Hideki was responsible for a lifetime total of 3,990,000 democides.

The Atlas estimates that 11M civilians and 4.5M soldiers died in the Asian/Pacific part of the war. That's 15,500,000 deaths which can probably be blamed on the Japanese to one extent or another. So the 230,000 killed by the U.S. at Hiroshima if you put it in perspective is a drop in the can, when compared to the attrocities commited by the hands of the Japanese.
posted by Dr. Monkeystein at 9:58 AM

 
Funny how Schwarzeneggar and Arianna Huffington are the highlights of the Washington Post's freak-show story on California's recall.
posted by Ben at 12:11 AM

 
8:00 p.m.

Tonight, I blog from paradise. It's been a long time since the last time I was here. Such a long, long time since [San Francisco-based purveyor of upscale cooking supplies] moved their data center up to some culture-forsaken suburb of Sacramento. But I'm back, and it's just the way I left it.

Current Song: "Beautiful Day" performed by U2

Current Drink: Powers Gold Label Irish Whiskey, on the rocks, with a glass of ice water

8:15 p.m.

The paradise I speak of is Fiddler's Green, my favorite Irish pub, and a place I inevitably wind up at just about every time I visit San Francisco. It's down on the Wharf, but doesn't have that cheesy, touristy sheen that most of the restaurants down here have. Sidebar: Seriously, WHY does In-N-Out Burger need to build a restaurant on Fisherman's Wharf? As my Aunt likes to say, "SF has more restaurants per capita than most any other city and probably the worst of the lot is better than most elsewhere (albeit expensive!)." [that's a direct quote from her e-mail]

Current Song: "Jailhouse Rock" performed by The Blues Brothers

Current Drink: Another Powers on the rocks

Current Meal: Ploughman's Mixed Grille

8:45 p.m.

Did I tell you about the Ploughman's? No? Well, let me tell you a little bit about the Mixed Grille. It starts with a pork chop, but that is just the beginning of this festival of unclean meats. Add to that two (three tonight) slices of Irish Bacon (kind of like Canadian bacon, but less laid back), two "bangers" (Irish pork sausages), black and white pudding (a sausage - I don't think either one of us wants to know what's in it), two eggs cooked to order, baked beans, grilled onions, a grilled tomato, and either mashed potatoes or "chips" (fries, as we all learned in "A Fish Called Wanda"). I'm enjoying my Ploughman's with chips and my eggs over medium.

Current Song: "Chain of Fools" performed by The Commitments

Current Drink: Nothing, while I'm waiting for one more Powers and another glass of ice water

I have this habit of spinning my glass of whiskey on the table or bar (table tonight - had to have room for my laptop), partly to chill the whiskey, and partly to have something to do with my hands. Both the bar and the tables are extremely conducive to this activity - the glass spins freely without sliding away. This is particularly important by the third glass, which I happen to be enjoying right now.

8:54 p.m.

Current Drink: Powers #3

Reggie Sanders is batting against his former teammates, the Giants. It's the top of the 7th inning, and Giants ace Jason Schmidt is shutting out the Pittsburgh Pirates 3-0. I have a love-hate relationship with the Giants. You see, before my beloved Diamondbacks were established, Phoenix was home to the Giants' AAA farm team, the Phoenix Giants. The Phoenix Giants eventually moved to Scottsdale (where the Giants have Spring Training), and finally became the Tucson Sidewinders, the AAA farm team for the Diamondbacks. So, before the D-Backs, we were pretty much obligated to root for the Giants, which wasn't difficult. But now that our home team is in the same division, and the Giants are leading the division by some 493 games, I feel like I SHOULD be rooting for the Pirates. This isn't difficult when that smug bastard Barry Bonds is at the plate, and it's certainly easier now that Dusty Baker's gone to the Cubs. But when I'm HERE, and someone like Schmidt is on the mound, it's awfully hard not to cheer when he strikes out another hapless victim.

9:05 p.m.

Current Song: "Mr. Jones" performed by Counting Crows

Current Drink: Same glass of Powers. I've been typing, and I need to slow down if I'm going to make it back to the hotel.

Ah, it's that time. Sometime after 9:00 p.m., in the corner of this tiny bar, a local troubadour sets up shop and plays cool songs on his acoustic guitar. Mostly Classic Rock, heavy on the Irish artists, of course, but it's definitely got its charm. Have I heard "Me and Julio Down By The Schoolyard" too many times? Not when this guy is singing it.

You've already gotten a sampling of what's on the jukebox before live entertainment starts. Lots of Irish artists, like The Pogues, U2, Van Morrison, The Cranberries, etc. And the expected classic rock selections, too. A few songs I'm fond of cueing up each time I wander in to Fiddler's: "Roadhouse Blues" by The Doors, "Family Snapshot" by Peter Gabriel, "Living In The Past" by Jethro Tull, "Brothers in Arms" by Dire Straits, and "Fat Bottomed Girls" by Queen. Right now, U2's "In God's Country" is playing (someone else's choice - I usually pick "Trip Through Your Wires"), and I'm thinking about how much I like what used to be called Side Two of The Joshua Tree, but is now just "the songs after 'Bullet The Blue Sky'".

I worked on my laptop during most of the flight over here, so my first battery is about to die. Better shut down and swap batteries. Some horrible Oasis song (is it called "Don't Look Back in Anger"?) just started on the jukebox. Even paradise has its warts.

9:17 p.m.

Okay, we're up with battery number two. Remind me next time we come here together to tell you about the last time I was here. It was back at the end of February, back when we were only threatening to invade a country that hadn't attacked us first (I think - first two glasses are kicking in), and I was hanging out here waiting for a recently reunited Camper Van Beethoven to be ready to take the stage up at Bimbo's 365 Club, just up the street a few blocks. Remind me to tell you about the incident with Gerard, who "loves me", if I'm going to take him at his word.

I'm not sure I've explained exactly what kind of charm this place holds for me. You see, it's right down here with all of the Ghirardelli-Cannery Row-Pier 39 tourist crap, but it's definitely a LOCAL bar. Frequently very busy, but not full of people who want to pay $7 for a pint of Budweiser in a cool glass. And the prices are incredible for the location: The Ploughman's Mixed Grille that I had for dinner? Only $9.75. I couldn't get that kind of meal that cheap in Tempe. And the Powers is a big factor - my favorite Irish Whiskey by far. But it's also the staff. The bartenders and wait staff all have Irish accents, and they're all friendly but not TOO friendly. I doubt any of them knows my name, and that's just as I would have it. Instead, the bartenders call me "lad" and the waitresses call me "love" (I think - maybe they're calling me "lad", too). Even when I haven't been here for 5-6 months, Johnny knows what I'm drinking, and has my glass of Powers poured before I even sit down.

And the food is fantastic. I know people make fun of food from all over the British Isles, but I really enjoy almost everything on the menu. The fish and chips are just the right kind of crispy, and the Shepherd's Pie is to die for. On Sunday they have delicious pot roast, and they also frequently serve a sirloin tip pie with a flaky pastry and fantastic brown gravy.

9:28 p.m.

Current Song: "High and Dry" performed by Local Acoustic Guitar Player (originally by Radiohead)

Current Drink: Magner's Hard Cider

I've moved on to Hard Cider. This means I'm considering leaving in the next hour or so. Not because I'm at all displeased with my surroundings, but simply because my belly is full, the game is almost over, and if you stay too long in one place, it stops being paradise and starts being just this pitiful bar where you park your pitiful ass every time you come in town because you're not creative enough to try one of San Francisco's 1001 other dining establishments. I don't want Fiddler's to become that - right now, I want my ashes to rest in an urn above the stone fireplace near the entrance.

My next step will be a pint of either Bass Ale or Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, depending on my mood. Right now, I feel like the right thing to drink would be the Bass. I know I should have a Guiness - it's an Irish Bar, after all, but I never had the stomach for stout. Give me a pale ale or ESB any day of the week.

Current Song "Lay Down Sally" performed by Fiddler's Troubadour

Current Drink: Same Magner's

My fellow bloggers are probably experiencing mixed feelings right now. On the one hand, they're wondering if I'll ever just shut up and go to sleep. On the other hand, they're feeling slightly grateful that I've only criticized the current administration once, and haven't once linked to an article that suggests that Abraham Lincoln was the Antichrist. Ooops!

And I'm talking about whiskey! That can't be all bad, can it? Even if I'm drinking the kind that has an "e" in the name, it's still wonderful, glorious, distilled liquor. Mmmmmm.

Current Song "Moondance" performed by "Johnny Smith", if our Troubadour is to be believed

Current Drink: STILL the same Magner's.

Score: Top of the 9th, 3-0 Giants. Looks like Schmidt and the Giants have another win under their belts.

Surely there are other Irish Pubs out there with the same charm as Fiddler's? I'm not so sure. In the bay, I've dined and drank at bars from the "Starry Plough" to the "Plough and Stars" (one of them's in Berkeley - hippies a-go-go), and none of them have the "frequented by locals, but visitors welcome" charm of Fiddler's. Back in Arizona, I certainly love Casey Moore's, but it ain't the same. And Rula Bula? Heresy! Seamus McCaffrey's is a nice place to get a drink, and Rosie's has some fine lunches, but it's still not the same.

FYI - Tim Worrell is in for the Giants. The previous pitcher (didn't catch his name - why won't those bastards put their names on their uniforms?) put two Pirates on base in the top of the 9th with no outs, and he's in to clean up the mess.

In San Diego, there's actually a nice pub in the Gaslamp Quarter, of all places. It's called "The Field", and I have to admit I was skeptical at first, chiefly because of the label "Authentic Irish Pub" above the door. Any place that calls itself "authentic" almost certainly is not. But I was surprised - again, all Irish staff and fine meals. I think I'll have to give it a firm second place. They don't have the Ploughman's, but they do have an Irish Breakfast that includes everything but the pork chop. Pretty good.

Worrell got out of the jam. He put another runner on board with one out, so the bases were loaded and the winning run was at the plate, but he managed to get the guy to hit into a double play that ended the game, so all's "well" that ends well.

9:53 p.m.

Current Song: "Fly Me To The Moon" by Troubadour "Smith"

Current Drink: Waiting for my pint of Bass Ale

Last time I caught a score, the Diamondbacks were beating the Expos 5-1 in the 3rd inning, but that was a LONG time ago. The Giants have secured their victory, and at this point it looks like our hopes of winning the division are slim to none, but we're still in the running for the National League wildcard spot. Only about 5 games behind the Phillies, last I checked. Hey, in last year's World Series, BOTH teams were the wildcard teams, so maybe we can still make something happen.

Scoring update - Arizona leads Montreal 8-5 in the top of the 9th, but the Phillies won their game, so it looks like today's going to be a wash for everyone.

10:12 p.m.

Geez, I miss this place. I used to come here every two-three weeks, and now I'm lucky if I get here 3 times a year. It's a shame. But that's the nature of the biz. I can't see myself moving here. The cost of living is simply outrageous, and when all is said and done, I love Arizona. Still, I often imagine, if I had the opportunity, I could move here for a year or two and get San Francisco "out of my system". But I fear all that would do is get SF "in" my system...

Current Song: "Blackbird" by our guitar-picking friend - oh, he just finished, now he's playing "Peaceful Easy Feeling"

Final Drink Count: 3 Powers Gold Label on the rocks, 1 pint Magners Hard Cider, 1 pint Bass Ale, 1 Ploughman's Mixed Grille, 1 ridiculously long weblog entry, 2 visits to the restroom.

Final Bill: $34.75 plus tip - not bad!
posted by RobbL at 10:49 PM

 
I don't think a vote for McClintock is a wasted vote. I think he's more viable than Issa. He could be competitive against Riordan.
posted by Ben at 9:28 PM

 
Lileks is back. But no Bleat until Thursday.
posted by Ben at 9:25 PM

 
Ben brings up a good point. Forty percent of the monkeys on this blog are registered to vote in California. We have a strange game theory problem on this election, different then most. Before, it was easier to say that we should not "throw away" our vote on a third party candidate. But here, our votes are more powerful because:

a) It's not a binary choice.
B) Fewer people, I believe, will vote in this election than normally do. I might be wrong, since the gubernatorial elections are in the presidential off-years, but I think this election will only attract the hard-core voters on both sides.
c) It's going to take a fraction of the votes to win compared to previous years.

So on one hand, that's an argument for voting for who we truly believe in. But on the other, it suggests that we risk splitting our votes across too many choices, and letting a horror like Ariana take office.

I'm not sure what to believe. But I believe I'll have another Boodles and Vya martini...
posted by David at 9:23 PM

 
Do KCRW listeners vote? If so, will they vote against the recall of Gray Davis? And even if they choose not to vote on the question of recall, will they vote for Arianna Huffington? Or Peter Canejo of the Green Party? Or Dick Riordan, assuming he runs? I think the left-liberals will not turn out in the numbers the Democrats hope for or Davis needs. And those who do turn out will split their vote among candidates who cannot or will not win. I would compare Arianna to Darrell Issa. Issa has taken the lead in the recall drive but will not win the governor's race. Why? Because he's well known in a very small circle and has money, but he doesn't have much of a base. Tom McClintock has a base, but doesn't have money. McClintock should be governor, and he can win. More later.
posted by Ben at 8:42 PM

 
Mickey Kaus is dead on regarding Ariana's run for California governor. She's a very real threat. Yes, she has high negatives, but as Kaus has pointed out before, that doesn't matter in a race where a small plurality is needed to win. Ariana is a regular on KCRW's Left, Right and Center, which the L.A. radio station claims "reaches about 50,000 of the most influential radio listeners in Southern California." I'm one of those listeners, and Ariana is like nails on a chalkboard to me, but I bet I'm in the minority.

If public radio listeners and their fellow travelers go into the voting booth with Ariana as the only credible left-of-center choice, she could win easily.
posted by David at 5:55 PM

 
The New Yorker's Hendrik Hertzberg offers an indirect rejoinder to Chris Flannery's explanation in the Claremont Review of Books why liberals and leftists fail on the radio. Hertzberg has doubts about the viability of a liberal radio network, although he sympathizes with the effort. Some of this, I suspect, will be familiar. Here's the crux:

The main obstacle, probably, is neither financial nor ideological but temperamental. Remember the old joke about politics being show business for ugly people? Well, right-wing radio is niche entertainment for the spiritually unattractive. It succeeds because a substantial segment of the right-wing rank and file enjoys listening, hour after hour, as smug, angry, disdainful middle-aged men spew raw contempt at reified enemies, named and unnamed. The radiocons seldom offer analysis or argument. To the chronically resentful, they offer the sadistic consolation of an endless sneer—at weaklings, victim-group whiners, cultural snobs, Hollywood hypocrites whose hearts bleed for the downtrodden though they themselves are rich and privileged, feminists, environmentalists, and, of course, “liberals,” defined as the Clintons, other members of the “Democrat Party,” and persons suspected of thinking that the state ought to help correct for various kinds of unfairnesses or calamities (economic, racial, climatic, medical) or of attaching themselves to some identity other than or in addition to “American” (black, gay, foreign, all humanity).

By contrast, most noncons—most people, for that matter—do not regard politics as entertainment. They regard it as politics. They wouldn’t think it was fun to listen to expressions of raw contempt for conservatives—oh, maybe for a little while now and then, just as some occasionally tune in Limbaugh to give themselves a masochistic thrill or to raise their blood pressure, but not long and often enough to sustain an industry. When they want to be entertained, they watch comedy or drama. For the radiocon audience, political hate talk is comedy and drama. To their ears, it’s music.

Sheesh. Talk about smug and disdainful. Flannery, who is a bit of a masochist, actually listens to NPR and Pacifica Radio from time to time. What does Hertzberg listen to, I wonder? Not Limbaugh, certainly. Not Dennis Prager or Hugh Hewitt. Their popular, thoughtful shows are a daily refutation of Hertzberg's silly caricature.
posted by Ben at 11:07 AM

 
Good point about bourbon, Robb. I was so shocked and distraught at the news that I missed the error. Also, I was halfway through my second martini (clear, I might add, not blue). I only hope the Knob Creek was in one of the other buildings.
posted by Ben at 10:58 AM

 
Philistine Bias at AP

The story Ben referenced in the previous post shows how biased toward Jack Daniels and other forms of Sour Mash the folks at the Associated Press are. I quote: "More than 95 percent of the world's bourbon is produced in Kentucky". My friend, 100% of the world's bourbon is produced in Kentucky. If it ain't from Kentucky, it ain't bourbon.
posted by RobbL at 10:43 AM

 
Oh, dear God, no! No! Noooooooo!

posted by Ben at 10:22 PM

 
Mister, We Could Use A Man Like H.L. Mencken Again

Mencken is too good to quote only once. From the conclusion of Notes on Democracy:

I enjoy democracy immensely. It is incomparably idiotic, and hence incomparably amusing. Does it exalt dunderheads, cowards, trimmers, frauds, cads? Then the pain of seeing them go up is balanced and obliterated by the joy of seeing them come down. Is it inordinately wasteful, extravagant, dishonest? Then so is every other form of government: all alike are enemies to laborious and virtuous men. Is rascality at the very heart of it? Well, we have borne that rascality since 1776, and continue to survive. In the long run, it may turn out that rascality is necessary to human government, and even to civilization itself—that civilization, at bottom, is nothing but a colossal swindle. I do not know: I report only that when the suckers are running well the spectacle is infinitely exhilarating. But I am, it may be, a somewhat malicious man: my sympathies, when it comes to suckers, tend to be coy. What I can't make out is how any man can believe in democracy who feels for and with them, and is pained when they are debauched and made a show of. How can any man be a democrat who is sincerely a democrat?

posted by Ben at 7:47 PM

 
Great Mencken's Ghost!

From Notes on Democracy, by H.L. Mencken (1926):

Everywhere on earth, save where the enlightenment of the modern age is confessedly in transient eclipse, the movement is toward the completer and more enamoured enfranchisement of the lower orders. Down there, one hears, lies a deep, illimitable reservoir of righteousness and wisdom, unpolluted by the corruption of privilege. What baffles statesmen is to be solved by the people, instantly and by a sort of seraphic intuition. Their yearnings are pure; they alone are capable of a perfect patriotism; in them is the only hope of peace and happiness on this lugubrious ball. The cure for the evils of democracy is more democracy!

From San Francisco Mayor Willie Brown (2003):

It says that we're a wacko state, politically; that's what it says. You can't characterize it any other way. In this democracy, there is too much democracy.

Current song: "Run" by Supergrass on the album "Life on Other Planets". Current drink: Nothing right now.

posted by Ben at 7:41 PM

 
I've given you his credentials below. Now he gives us MORE ON THE TEST CLAUSE AND THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY'S 2003 VERSION THEREOF (see the 6:16 AM entry - no direct link available). Yes, Mr. Hewitt thinks more before 6:00 AM than most people think all day. I think most of it is due to the fact that he just goes to bed really early. His (lack of) musical and tv knowledge seems to reinforce this theory, but I'm not sure exactly how or why. You know what I mean.

FLASH! - Somebody let me know as soon as the Bleat is back up.
posted by R.B. at 3:20 PM

 
At the top of the hour I heard a blurb about the latest flap in the Episcopalian Bishop debacle. Minutes later Michael Medved came back with that as his topic for the whole next hour of his show. But he never did hit on the point that I thought was so important. An email from some previously unheard from source arrives on the very day that the vote was to be held? Allegations of inappropriate touching and some link to pornography? Puh-lease! Now I'm hearing that the vote is being postponed while they investigate whether or not these charges/announcements are a hoax. Reeeally? (I just don't have the HTML or rhetorical skills to express my indignation here.)

These last minute charges would not get any hearing whatsoever. Of course, neither should (the openly gay, left his wife to live with his "partner,") Rev. Robinson get a hearing as to whether or not he should be elevated to the level of Bishop in the church... But that's not really my point. My beef is with the tactics behind these last minute allegations. I'm assuming that the charges are false. I mean, this just smacks of activists resorting to dirty tricks in an otherwise worthy effort to defend their church. But this short term tactic harms the longterm strategy. If they are successful at nixing Robinson over these charges, they lose the opportunity to address the real reason that he should not be considered for the position. In so doing, I believe they are actually strengthening the case for the pro-homosexual-ordination/appointment crowd. The next nomination that comes up will probably not have these accusations made against him (or her - you never know these days), and a passive sort of precedent will have been set by Robinson having only been knocked out by these Anita Hill-style charges. The argument needs to be made on the principles and on the Scriptures. A victory based on cheap tricks will be Pyrrhic at best.
posted by R.B. at 2:34 PM

 
Robb's post about Sobran's article left me with some nagging problems. It wasn't introspection. It was general criticism for some of the points Sobran made. First, and possibly the only one I have time to cover in this post (started last night, left to finish this late morning), is the claim that:

"Conservatives are as vague as they are vociferous about the Times’s liberal bias."

What? Vague? That would come as news to the hardworking conservatives at the Media Research Center who have taken the job of chronicling liberal bias in the Times so seriously as to warrant a spin-off site called TimesWatch. Additionally, I find it odd that Sobran's only example of the Right's teleocracy was "national security." Hmmm... Isn't that "goal" [Sobran's term] practically mentioned in our nation's founding documents (common defense)? Furthermore, I find Sobran's bringing of the whole nomocracy vs. teleocracy business to bear off the subject. He began by generally defending the Times against the charges of bias, but by just claiming that many conservatives have their own direction to pull towards, he does nothing to negate the truth of the claim that liberals are pulling too. Lastly, (I know - I said I'd only address one point. I'm just cramming a bunch of 'em into the space that one point deserves by itself. Please forgive me.) while I've long been a supporter of the "do-nothing" school of political office holding, such a theory seems truly valid only in a vacuum. I'm sure I'm putting myself in the crosshairs of Sobran's teleocracy accusation, but on a playing field where there has been so much "progress" in one direction, an attempt to center things seems at least reasonable before one ought settle down into the do-nothing game. (Cloudy head, stuffy nose, not making enough sense, cold coming on - spent the weekend getting rained on in the cool, cool pines up north.)
posted by R.B. at 11:11 AM

 
Madness! I never thought I would see the day when a monkey would cast its lot with tyranny. Do not be deceived! This is a shameless liberal ploy!

Update: A friend of mine protests: "Aw, come on! Monkey is tacitly disapproving of the initiative process! You gotta like that. Heck, he's being more conservative than anybody else running, what with him wanting to leave someone elected with a majority in the office." True, true. All true. But I'm comfortable with my hypocrisy.
posted by Ben at 10:54 AM

 
Drudge is a carrying a link at this hour announcing that Gray Davis plans to mount a legal challenge to the October 7 recall election. The idea is to delay the vote until March 7, when the election would be more to his advantage. And, by the way, he wants his name on the second part of the ballot.

Message to Gov. Davis: Take your Progressivism like a man. You demonstrated your support for the recall when it's suited you in the past. Lose in October or lose in March. Either way, your day is done.

Incidentally, I used to work with the guy who wrote the item about Davis's support for the recall of a political enemy. It's bizarre. Certain people exist in a twilight zone of electoral politics. As long as there is a conservative cause celebre, there is work, and there is life. These campaigns are so mysterious to me. Huffington. Wilson. Simon. Issa. All different, but all similar. Very strange.

Dad was right. I should have been a dentist.

posted by Ben at 10:44 PM

 
The verdict is in from this jury of one: Blue gin is stupid. Blue gin may appeal to superficial hipsters and Prada-wearing tatooed strumpets who think nothing of paying $12 for a badly mixed cocktail at the hot-spot of the week. Hey, it's still a free country, more or less. But, in the end, blue gin is silly marketing gimmickry. Do not be suckered.

Blue gin tastes good. It's a perfectly respectable gin, as far as taste is concerned. But blue gin tastes no better than Bombay, which is less expensive and bottled by the same people. For that matter, blue gin tastes no better than Boodles, which is not only cheaper but also contains some strange halluncinogenic properties. (That's what we call real "value-added," friend.)

Blue gin is merely blue. No self-respecting man will come home after a long day of toiling at the keyboard and unwind with a blue gin martini. He would sooner drink cooking sherry, or arsenic.

Megellan will shipwreck. I give it 18 months, tops.

On the other hand, blue or no, I'm not going to throw away four-fifths of a bottle of gin. Now that would be really stupid.

Current song: Caravan by Dizzy Gillespie on the album "Afro". Current drink: Lipton Iced Tea (Unsweetened, No Lemon).
posted by Ben at 8:16 PM

 
Joseph Sobran taught me a new word today. Actually, two new words, and they clarified some of my thoughts about government. Follow this link to both words (nomocracy and teleocracy), along with a bunch of other words that aren't quite so long, arranged in a sequence that is both readable and thought-provoking.

Here's the "money quote", as Brad likes to call it:

Conservative and libertarian philosophers sometimes distinguish two basic types of government. One is “nomocratic” government, or rule-based government, neutral as to ends; the other is “teleocratic” government, or government designed to achieve specific ends (abolishing poverty, say, or building empire).

The deepest Western political tradition is nomocracy; the modern state, however, has strongly inclined to teleocracy. One extreme form of teleocracy is communism, in which all laws and edicts of the state are subordinated to creating a certain kind of social order — “building a new society” is a common phrase for this sort of project.

And some "spare change":

Today, generally speaking, liberals and conservatives are both teleocratic in their politics. They merely have different and conflicting ends for the state to pursue. The liberal wants the state to achieve “social equality” of some sort; the conservative is more apt to urge “national security.” Either way, the result is a large role for government, with high taxes to support it.

The article itself is about the New York Times and claims of "liberal bias", but I found the "two new words" to be the most challenging and interesting.

Current Song: "This Is Crush Collision" from the album One Thousand Years Of Trouble by Age Of Chance

Current Drink: Powers Gold Label (on the rocks)
posted by RobbL at 10:09 PM

 
I haven't brought myself to open the blue gin yet. I did make a superb martini last night, however, with Daresbury Quintessential Gin. A bold statement, perhaps, but a smooth cocktail. Very mellow flavor. Do those five distillations make a difference? I don't know. But I definitely could taste the citrus. I like citrusy martinis. I've abandoned olives for lemon twists, and I usually spray lemon essence inside my cocktail glass before pouring in the drink. Lately, I've also been adding two or three dashes of orange bitters.

Incidentally, I take back what I said about Tanqueray 10. I had a martini on Friday night made with 10, at a ratio of about 3:1, with two dashes of orange bitters. Outstanding. My bartender earned a big tip for that one.

Current song: More horny music on TV's "Ground Force" by the Black Dyke Band. Current drink: Another Tanqueray 10 martini, as soon as I post this.
posted by Ben at 9:45 PM

 
OK, so I bought the blue gin. It's kind of a light blue. I haven't tasted it yet, which means I haven't made the "Wet Blue" yet (I need to get some Sprite). I also bought a gin called "Quintessential." That's a pretty bold statement, if you ask me.

Update: OK, I'm an illiterate idiot. Obviously, I can't make a "Wet Blue" without Wet gin. I've got Magellan. Which is blue. I guess I could make a Magellan Blue. Or I could make a martini like a normal person.

Current song: The tube is on. We're watching "Monk." It's a pretty good show. Current drink: Nothing, believe it or not.
posted by Ben at 8:43 PM

 
Puke Politics

The Democrats are 100% behind California Governor Gray Davis. Their support is total. It is not fraying. So says Democratic National Committee Chairman Terry McAuliffe. Yes, three Democrat Congressmen who oppose the recall loudly and publicly called on U.S. Senator Dianne Feinstein to enter the race. But they've received a stern talking-to, and the Democrats' support of Davis, which may have dipped to 99.9 percent, was restored to a solid 100%. Yes, Feinstein's Senate colleague from California, Barbara Boxer, said that despite her rock-solid support for Davis, "I'm mature enough and have been in this business long enough to say you don't close off other options." And yes, California's Attorney General Bill Lockyer (who, by the way, is a Democrat who opposes the recall), told the Sacramento Bee that if Davis runs a "trashy campaign" against a candidate like ex-L.A. Mayor Richard Riordan, "I think there are going to be prominent Democrats that will defect and just say, 'We're tired of that puke politics. Don't you dare do it again or we're just going to help pull the plug.' ...There is a growing list of prominent Democrats that, if that's how it evolves, are going to jump ship."

But please understand: the Democrats are 100% behind the Governor and they are dedicated to vanquishing this fiendish right-wing plot. Never mind if they're all sharpenng their daggers and looking for the nearest exit.

Current song: Mostly the sound of silence, with a bit of computer fan noise by my office. Current drink: Nothing (but thinking of gin and tonic).
posted by Ben at 4:20 PM

 
One of the odd things about Arnold Schwarzenegger's plan to announce whether he'll run for California governor is that the last people to know will be those in the West. The Tonight Show airs three hours earlier in the East, even though it's taped in Burbank.

But then, Arnold's priority isn't how California voters view him. It's how America's moviegoers view him. And that pretty much tells you what he's going to say.

The only really interesting question is whether he'll endorse Riordan, or even have Riordan appear on the show. Me, I'm going to TiVo it and go to bed.

posted by David at 3:43 PM

 
Arnold Schwarzeneggar isn't going to run for governor of California. We've known this for days. But he hasn't said anything officially. Instead, he's decided to drag out this will-he-or-won't-he-run charade until next Wednesday, when he will make his anouncement before an appearance on the Tonight Show. Meanwhile, smut-peddler Larry Flynt says he's officially in the race. It's easy to dismiss Flynt's candidacy, but don't forget the havoc he wreaked on Republicans who led the effort to impeach President Clinton. (Just ask Henry Hyde. Or, better yet, don't. From what I hear, that revelation of a 30-year-old affair broke him.)

Flynt's presence will lend credence to the conventional wisdom (in certain circles) that the recall is nothing more than a farce that's bad for the state. Flynt won't win, of course, but he'll probably get votes. Worse, he'll take coverage away from a serious discussion about the descent of the Golden State into a kind of third-world kleptocracy. In other words, advantage Davis.

For an up-to-date list of current and potential candidates, freakish and non-freakish alike, visit Politics 1.

Current song: Nothing at the moment. Current drink: Aqua.
posted by Ben at 3:31 PM

 
The Plot to Kill John Wayne

Stalin thought the Duke was a threat to the Soviet Union. Strange, but apparently true. (Link via Andrew Stuttaford at "The Corner".)

Current song: Ballad of Rush Limbaugh (15th Anniversary Edition). Current drink: Coffee.
posted by Ben at 10:14 AM

 
Apparently We're All Titling Our Posts Now

But it's all about the content, friend. So you need to be up to speed with this unparalleled info on the Senate Judiciary Committee debate over the suitability of Judge Pryor and the veiled anti-Catholic bias that is becoming more and more visible. Why am I sending you to a talk radio host for serious treatment of a subject? Well, because radio is Hewitt's other job. In the mornings he's a professor of Constitutional Law at Chapman University School of Law. (He also has substantial experience inside the beltway, including six years' worth of various posts in the Reagan Administration, notably serving in the White House counsel's office.) In this case, Hewitt's past as a Catholic also gives him a particularly clear vantage point. (Of course, he's on the right track now, as a Presbyterian. Hugh lightheartedly explains that it's the denomination in which one is least likely to be hugged.)

Anyway, Hewitt's homepage blog currently features more than just a recap of the controversy. He also offers us Denver Archbishop Chaput's important article of response that's just starting to emerge from the media's cold-shoulder-treatment. Furthermore, Hewitt provides a basis for undercutting those who would discount the the charges of bias and anti-Catholicism as hyperbole on technicalities. Not only does he cover Article IV of the Constitution, but he goes on to give us insight into the practical applications of bias and improper discrimination in the history behind England's Test Acts. The issue gets more treatment in other postings on that page, including further down in the 7:25 AM, July 30th entry. As they say, "Read the whole thing."

Current Song: The Happiness Hour Theme by The Ventures (I think) on the album The Dennis Prager Show. Current Drink: Shamrock Farms No-Sugar-Added 1% Chocolate Milk (now with Splenda!)
posted by R.B. at 10:09 AM

 
How I Spend My Summer Vacation

Hanging out with the crazy guys who built this roller coaster in the backyard. For our many readers who attend Burning Man, we'll be at 8:30 and Esplanade, running the coaster from about 8 pm until midnight Monday - Friday. For those who don't, that last sentence probably made little sense. But go to the coaster site and watch the cool videos anyway. If you do come by, ask for the carny bartender (that would be me).
posted by David at 12:36 AM